AIBU to worry that my 16-month-old isn’t walking or talking yet?

[starships]

AIBU please.

DS is 16 months. He was late preterm (36+ weeks), IUGR and very tiny at birth, so always a bit behind physically. He’s now happy, settled and clearly thriving, but development is uneven and I’m wondering if I’m worrying unnecessarily.

He:

• crawls well and pulls to stand
• bears weight but isn’t walking yet (no cruising)
• babbles a lot but has no clear words yet
• gets frustrated when he can’t do what he wants

On the plus side:

• very social (smiles, laughs, seeks comfort, plays peekaboo)
• good eye contact and interaction
• interested in people and other children
• eats well, sleeps reasonably, fine motor skills seem good

Paediatrician is starting to get a little touchy but wants to review again in a few months, mainly for gross motor skills. I know walking can be normal up to 18 months and speech can follow later, especially in smaller/preterm babies hence her giving more time.

So… AIBU to worry, or is this all well within normal toddler variation and I need to chill?

Would appreciate experiences from parents whose children walked/talked later and caught up. Thanks!

My twins walked at 19 months.
one has a physics degree from Newcastle and the other is doing a masters in jazz drumming at guildhall.

That sounds like my DD, she didn't walk until she was 18 months and was babbling with no words, they all develop at different rates, I remember my sister crowing that her DS was walking at 12 months as if he was a miracle child, fine but they're both grumpy teenagers now with no difference between them!

I wouldn’t be too worried yet. The average age for walking is 15 months. Despite what everyone at baby group will tell you about their babies walking at 9 months, most of that is forced by those mums who are competitive about milestones. My two walked at 16 and 17 months.

Similar with words. He may actually be saying things, but you just don’t realise it. One of mine said his first word (tractor) at 15 months, but it was only then, after he started talking more that I realised he’d been saying hi and waving since about 12 months. 🙈 I just didn’t realise it was a word and not just a sound!

I’d give it a couple more months and see what happens. That said, dh didn’t walk or talk until he was about 2.5. He is dyslexic, but suddenly he just started talking in sentences one day and off and ran around. He’s perfectly clever, very successful, did well enough in school, no issues, just was a bit slow to get going.

That's not outwith normal development, even before adjusting for prematurity. He isn't delayed with anything yet and even if he was that wouldn't mean anything necessarily long term. It's really positive that he can crawl/stand and is sociable and interacting and babbling.

My DS didn’t walk until 18 months and was almost 2 when he began talking. He caught up. He recently graduated from a top university with a first in history and politics.

My DS was born at 37weeks weighing 5lbs. Got off to a bit of a slow start and didn’t walk till 17 months. He’s in his 20s now and is a 6 foot 2 policeman.
I was so worried about him in the early years as he reached some milestones a little later than average. But remember that the charts are exactly that: averages. One of of my DDs walked at 10 months. Can you tell that one of mine was an ‘early’ walker and the other one ‘late’ now they’re all grown up? Of course not!
It doesn’t stop you worrying but it’s early days. And it sounds like if there are any issues further down the line they are likely to get picked up.

You describe a sociable and smiley little boy. I bet he’s absolutely gorgeous!

Thanks so much for the useful replies so far! This is making me feel so much better! The doctor really scared me! DS had a tough start in life so just hope and pray for the best for him- thanks everyone!!

This is exactly what I was thinking too until I saw the doctor but I guess she was just being over cautious with stuff- thanks very much

The thing is the fact that my late walker and talker is now taking A levels is totally irrelevant

Nothing anyone tells you will change your child or probably stop you worrying

Every child is unique, as average is simply just that. All you can do is wait and see, easier said than done but I'm not sure what else there is

You're not being unreasonable to worry, because it's completely natural to worry about your children. But as others have said, it's within the bounds of normal development. Being a boy and an ex-36 weeker are other factors which may be contributing to him being on the late side.

The plural of anecdote is not evidence etc, but I had a baby born small (6lb 2oz) at 37 weeks, and he didn't walk until 16.5 months or say his first word until about 20 months (and barely spoke until well after his 2nd birthday). He's now 7 and flying academically.

It's very common. I'm a doctor and I would reassure a mum who asked me about this. But as that mum myself, I did worry, despite knowing rationally it was likely to be fine.

Both my children walked early (10 months) and talked late. They don't talk much now either!

I didn’t walk until 18 months and I am a bit hyper mobile. My DC all walked at 10-11 months.

DC1 had a lot of words that were clear, but struggled to make sentences. He would babble a lot and sounded like he was talking fluently in a foreign language, he clearly knew what he was trying to say, and showed good understanding. At 4 he was diagnosed with a severe speech and language delay, autism ruled out as he had good eye contact , but diagnosed at 9. He left primary school still classed as severely delayed, but got by fine with his peers. At 18 he’s at college, his processing is a bit delayed still, but you wouldn’t know he ever struggled with his speech.

I wouldn't worry yet. Does he understand what you are saying sometimes eg if you tell him to do something?

The fact is he may be delayed or have a developmental issue - and he may not because as everyone says kids really vary - but give yourself permission to stop worrying about it until he's 2 because nobody will do anything until then anyway tbh.

It’s completely normal to worry about stuff. My eldest didn’t pull herself up until she was 13 months and she was sent for an ultrasound on her hips by 12 months which looked fine. Then at 13 months she pulled herself up and by 14 months she was walking.

So no I wouldn’t be worrying yet. If he’s not walking by 18 months they will likely investigate a bit more. But most children will be fine, it just sometimes indicates a problem.

I remember so much stress over this in my ante natal group, and a few of these babies have since met each other at high school. There is no correlation between the first talkers and English grades and only a little bit for the early walker being very sporty (but both things are more down to them being high energy than having a few more months of walking practicesl). The others I can hardly remember who it was walking late, not eating, not talking etc all evened out by about 2.5.

I think talking with books with pictures, pointing at everyday items door,dog cat etc. it’s the understanding is essential not the mechanics of speech. Speech will follow and make sure you are not filling in for him with trying to understand as it will delay speech.

we used to say can you find me a red brick and they would pass it to me. I had a late walker and speaker both at uni now.

I think talking with books with pictures, pointing at everyday items door,dog cat etc. it’s the understanding is essential not the mechanics of speech. Speech will follow and make sure you are not filling in for him with trying to understand as it will delay speech.

we used to say can you find me a red brick and they would pass it to me. I had a late walker and speaker both at uni now.

I have a younger brother and sister who are twins. When they were babies, she was super slow to walk. Nearly 2 years old! But she spoke early on.
He could only babble and was really slow to talk but could move like the wind.
She would bark orders at him from across the room and he would comply 🤣
I guess the point of my post is that they all progress at their own rate and get there eventually.
Both twins own their own high-flying businesses now.
She’s still the bossy one though!

I am sooooo glad I noticed your post. I have a son who is 18 months corrected - he was 28 weeks prem and IUGR also and I'm never sure just how much IUGR impacts his physical milestones (I completely understand your concern and it feels from the moment he got a diagnosis of IUGR at the 20 week scan all I've heard about are the potential short and long term implications).

We are trying my son with a harness and also doing exercises on his core strength (when the toddler is in the mood to cooperate). We have seen some improvement, he has taken independent steps at 17 months between two adults (say about 5/6 steps) but his balance isn't great. He will stand only if distracted, however he will cruise well and is more often on his feet than crawling it's just that he won't let go of the wall or your hand.

In terms of fine motor skills he seems absolutely fine.

At his 15 month review I raised language concerns but he has had a mini explosion of words and seems on par with his peers at 18 months. Hopefully you get the same little burst of language.

I wish I could tell you not to worry but I do think IUGR kiddos sometimes need that bit of extra support with things so a referral to physio or any other testing your paediatrician thinks is needed is not a bad thing.

Well within normal development.

My DB was def slow to walk -I don’t remember exactly how old he was, but over 12 mos. He did’t say more than a few words until he was nearly 3.

He earned a PhD from one of the top Ivy League universities and developed a highly successful career.

There are never guarantees, OP, but it is far too soon to worry. Very best wishes to you both

My DS couldn’t walk until he was 17 months, then he stood up one day and started running! He didn’t crawl at all, so he literally went from nothing to running. Now he plays football everyday and is the most active person I know. No need to worry yet.