Another birthday one.

[statetrooperstacey]

My DH has bought me 2 pairs of earrings for my birthday. A pair of butterfly earrings, pretty much the same as all the other pairs of butterfly earrings he has bought me over the years, none of much I have ever worn.
and a pair of children’s elephant earrings . I don’t have any great affinity or special interest In elephants. Wtf was he actually thinking?! Knob. Aibu to be confused and a bit I don’t know really, a bit pissed off?!! I wanted wellies or a special gardening tool I have banged on about for weeks, we went to 3 shops looking for one!! or even just nice fucking earrings!!

Do you ever make an actual list for him to choose from? That might be worth trying - although you shouldn’t really need to if he took notice.
Rubbish gifts from people that know you well are really disappointing.
Happy Birthday though.

January birthdays are tough , I hate mine , dh always tries to arrange something nice but either the weather or something else fucks it up. This year I made sure he didn't arrange anything I think there's some kind of fatigue from Christmas that makes buying a decent gift impossible.

Yes, he had the list from Xmas , it did have earings on it tbf . But the elephants are truly left field .

You’re right , I’m used to it . But he didn’t bring his A game at Xmas either . Lazy fecker! He’s getting £10 in a card for his bday.😂

I understand. It just feels like he’s not bothered to put the time or energy into it doesn’t it.
A bit lazy of him. I get why you’re disappointed.

Tell him thanks but the children’s earrings aren’t your style, but you’ll bring him to the jewellers to choose some nice earrings today !

Why give him a tenner when you can sellotape 2 pound coins to his card? 😉

It is disappointing.

He needs clear feedback if you want to improve the situation though.

Can he return them so you can choose one pair you actually like?

Save yourself a tenner and give him a pair of butterfly earrings and some children's elephant earrings. Spend the money you save on wellies and your gardening tool.

Is he this thoughtless in other areas of life? Sounds like he’s given up putting any effort in.
He’s done the bare minimum to avoid buying you nothing, but doesn’t care whether you like them.

@statetrooperstacey ,my take is that he has his mind fixed as what 'a gift for a woman' is, and gardening tools and wellies aren't on it.
For examples of what 'a gift for a woman' is look at the lists that crop up before Christmas, Valentine's Day and Mothering Sunday.

He will have bought butterfly earrings for you once and they were well-received, and his mind will be 'she likes butterfly earrings', so he buys them again and again.

I'm a practical person and fussy, and the 'gift guide' gifts are usually pointless clutter (scented candles, hand cream, ..). If they have 'gift's for the gardener' they rarely have anything that an actual gardener would want.

My birthday is in January. I get given things that are probably regifted or from the sales.

Omg that’s brilliant , thank you , I’m going to do that😂

Glad I made you laugh. My other idea was to buy him some cufflinks from a charity shop, but only if he never wears proper shirts. When he says 'but I don't wear shirts' just say 'I hope you like them'. I hate rubbish present-givers!

Honestly there's no need for it. My late DH wasn't great at choosing presents (unless it happened to be beer or cricket related) but even he wouldn't have chosen a pair of children's type earings for me. He did at least try to hit the mark.

I agree I asked dh to just get paint for a room that needs doing and he said no that's not a gift . I like a practical gift that I'll actually use . I use some specific products that I'd be happy to get as a gift. When I was a kid I used to get great birthday presents because a lot of the top Christmas toys would be in the sales

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Lots of scent and jewellery. I'd like a power drill or socket set or some proper gardening tools (not cheap ones).