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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

choosing the selfish career?

7 replies

pickleonastickle · 25/01/2026 12:12

Currently studying a healthcare masters at uni. First year. I applied for this and another role at the same time, the other role starts in spring and requires extensive vetting and medical tests which I am worried I fail due to previous health issues - basically I started the degree expecting to potentially not get through the other role but I have. I have equal interest in both really, they’re both things I would absolutely love to do if only I could have 2 lives in 1!

The other role is instant 30k pay, good family friendly (mostly) hours, loads of benefits, etc. Would be a more exciting job I think as it’s ‘dangerous’

The uni degree would mean we’d be on a low income because it has placements so would have to drop full time work to part time. I’d have to do 16 hours work alongside 27 hours of uni as I don’t qualify for childcare grant so would have to keep working to get gov nursery scheme. It leads to the career I would love and I think feel happiest in, it’s also a far safer job which I think is imporant to consider as a mum. but it would mean 3 years of barely being at home with my children. They’re young and the guilt is eating me up a bit. I’m basically going to uni then straight to work and working weekends and that’s before placement even begins. Is it horrible to choose that? Is it stupid to turn down an actual career with decent pay and decent hours?? My head is a mess over it

OP posts:
RueLepic · 25/01/2026 12:17

Surely it's primarily a question to discuss with your partner, who will presumably be doing a lot of solo parenting, and have the children by themselves every weekend while you combined work and university?

Not sure what you mean by 'dangerous' vs 'safe'.

pickleonastickle · 25/01/2026 12:19

RueLepic · 25/01/2026 12:17

Surely it's primarily a question to discuss with your partner, who will presumably be doing a lot of solo parenting, and have the children by themselves every weekend while you combined work and university?

Not sure what you mean by 'dangerous' vs 'safe'.

partner is happy with either and just wants me to choose the one that makes me happy. dangerous as in could come to physical harm at work

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Handeyethingyowl · 25/01/2026 12:25

Depends on so many factors. Personally I went for a family friendly role. I don’t regret it because I was able to be around as much as I could but obviously now they are older I think I should have retrained in something I am more interested in.

If you like both options then the one with £30K, family friendly hours and no course fees is clearly on paper the best option.

Indianajet · 25/01/2026 12:33

How dangerous? Would it only be dangerous if you broke health and safety rules or something inherently dangerous such as fire fighting?

RueLepic · 25/01/2026 12:45

You say you expected you wouldn't pass physical vetting for the 'dangerous' job because of previous health issues -- is this likely to be an issue when actually doing the job?

pickleonastickle · 25/01/2026 15:23

Indianajet · 25/01/2026 12:33

How dangerous? Would it only be dangerous if you broke health and safety rules or something inherently dangerous such as fire fighting?

inherently dangerous but mostly for the first 2 years due yo training and then the danger level would significantly drop

OP posts:
pickleonastickle · 25/01/2026 15:24

RueLepic · 25/01/2026 12:45

You say you expected you wouldn't pass physical vetting for the 'dangerous' job because of previous health issues -- is this likely to be an issue when actually doing the job?

no - the medical issues i’m worried about were from years ago, i’m more worried because i don’t know how thorough vetting is and if they consider past problems a risk

OP posts:
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