am i being a spoilt sibling........

[mum2samandalex]

me and dh are about to be made homeless we are living in married quarters and dh is due to leave the services.We have been told that the council are likely to rehouse us although it could be anything a flat, house massionette garden no garden and its only likely to be a 2 bed. We have two ds one 5mths and the other 3 and are currently living in a 3 bed house with garden etc nice area.

My mum is a council tennant and has a 3 bed house big garden etc not too bad area. Shes getting married and is moving in with her htb and they are going to buy somewhere just the two of them. Well the problem is my db who is 36 and 9 years older then me still lives at home, works but has no dependents etc and will be taking over the tennancy. I am gutted to say the least considering my circumstances.Its no secret that i would to have that house and yet my mum has not even mentioned coming to some kind of agreement and suggesting perhaps we do an exchange once we are offered something.I have already mentioned or hinted once before but nothing has been said. It all seems to about my 36 db will cope on his own as hes never lived alone. I really feel like i could fall out with my family over this especially as they no how stressed i am yet they seem more sympathetic about my db's thousand pound debt on his credit card. I just feel like no one gives a toss tbh

arent people who work but are on low wages entitled to council housing? We live in devon and cornwall and so renting is more expensive. We are being evicted so we arent just choosing to find a council place. It would just be a step up until dh and i can get on our feet and possibly buy when the market is more secure.People who join the services get know help when they come out it gets on my nerves and yet people who are so called asylum seekers choose to come to this country and get all the help they need.My friend was actually told once by the housing office that if your not on benefits, unemployed or a aylum seeker then theres no chance you will get any help.

I understand that this is a difficult transition for you, but Lazylinepainter says it all. This is the reality for lots of people! Rent or mortgage takes up a whacking great chunk of your income. Very many families need both parents working to be able to pay for housing, and those who rent privately don't have the security, as you say. Having said that, I know a number of people having a tough time because they can't afford their mortgage either! I think it's the reality of life in 2008 I'm afraid.

Look, ranting about asylum seekers is a)small minded and b)irrelevant to your situation.

You said yourself that you got 6 months notice that your DH was leaving the forces. That is plenty of time to search for a private rental, and your DH not being available for that is irrelevant, you can search as well.

"renting is so much more expensive"...well tough luck! That's life, I am afraid. There are plenty of us here who are private renting, with its lack of security and all and IMO, if you can afford to private rent then you should and leave the council housing to those who actually need it, rather than complaining that you want a 3 bed council house! For a start, you have 2 boys so you don't need a 3 bed by council standards!

As for the asylum seeker thing, would you rather be someone who had fled from their country thanks to war and fearing for the lives of themselves and their children? Maybe they would like to swap places with you, and be very happy at privately renting "at a stretch". Honestly, you talk as if your situation would make them feel happy with their lot...

You are possibly just at that stage of panicking. If the council are going to offer you a 2 bed, take it for heaven's sake. Gives you time to look at other options, at least.

Councils have rules. A tenancy can pass to another relative living in the house. Your brother is living in the house, not you. Forget about it.

I'd rent privately if you can. There's not that much security I suppose compared to council housing but at least you have the choice of where you go.

I have rented privately and now we own a house (well, the mortgage company owns it) and I do agree that having a mortgage and 'owning' your home doesn't feel a secure situation to be in for many nowadays. I don't 'feel' a helluva lot more secure now than I did a year or two ago when we rented.

But at least with private renting you choose exactly where you go, what road, schools etc.

Renting in Devon and Cornwall is NOT more expensive, especially in Plymouth, if you're sensible about where you choose to live. Have you looked at Torpoint for instance, or at Saltash? Good primaries there, and rentals available on the new Pilmere estate. You could also look at Manadon Park, and some of the roads off Peverell Park Road always seem to have properties for rent, and on the Pennycross side as well. There's a 3 bed cottage in Millbrook, Torpoint going for £495 per month. I've just looked on the net.

You have had the time to sort this out, and have chosen not to. Why haven't you been making the running on this when he's been at sea? How long since he put his letter in? My understanding is that takes a year to 18 months to leave, so you've known it was coming.

It is perfectly simple really. You look at your options, including housing, as the rent will be somewhat different from an MQ; he decides to put his letter in and leave the RN, and you start making enquiries about housing, sooner rather than later, moving out of the MQ before he leaves the RN if you've found a rental you like. You are not being evicted fgs, it's effectively tied housing, he no longer works for the RN, no entitlement. When dh leaves his current posting, it'll be the same for me, so I shall march out of this MQ, and go back to the UK, having ensured that I have somewhere to live when I get back there; either another MQ, or my own house, if I can give the tenants enough notice.

Your dh may have been in the RN for 10 years, but you haven't, so you have no excuse not to have got this moving. My dh has been in for 30 years, having joined at 18, and we have a family too, but we've always fended for ourselves. You need to plan ahead. My dh leaves the RN at 53, but we're already looking at options for when he leaves and putting out feelers for possible jobs. Prior planning prevents and all that.

People coming out of the services DO get help if they want it, there's loads of info on the RN website with links.

I really don't see how your situation is any different from anyone else leaving a job and having to rearrange accommodation. Yes, there is a measure of protection in Naval life, and it can be a bit detached from reality for those in the RN, but you, like me, are a civilian and live in the real world, so for you there should be no transition to make, apart from having your dh around a bit more.

Word of advice, if you do rent privately, avoid Executive Lets on Mutley like the plague. You may also find this useful
www.accessplace.com which has a list of the HAs in Plymouth, with addresses, phone numbers and websites.

I'm guessing you are choosing to ignore bubblagirl's correct housing advice because she's not saying what you want to hear. You also say that your mother is the tenant and can choose who she passes the tenancy on too, that is not the case - you are not currently Council tenants so she can't currently pass it to you. You want sympathy - fine, I can understand that it's a really stressful situation but going on about asylum seekers getting priority etc. when you clearly don't know what you're talking about doesn't do you any favours.