Just for background, my upbringing was very abusive. My dad told me every day that I was ugly, thick, and fat. That nobody would ever love me. When I told him I was getting engaged he said ‘who’d have you?’. He has since died but my mother has called me shit, a bitch and a fucking bitch. When not swearing at me, she’s lovely - how warped is that? Anyway, I’m now 62, had an under active thyroid, gain 6 stones and, since diagnosis, lost all the weight. I feel that I lost 15 years of my life being fat. I’m now at a healthy weight. My problem is: my face. I don’t look like me. I’ve aged massively. I look old, tied, grumpy, cross and worried when I’m not. I’ve put boundaries in place regards my mother - that’s been unbelievably hard!! I’ve cashed in a pension, found a surgeon and am having a face lift. My husband and my children support this decision. However, I know my closest friend will be against this. She is the closest female in my life. I mooted the idea of my having a facelift two years ago and she was appalled. So I dropped the subject. Anyway, I’m booked to have surgery this April. I really want this. I’m definitely going ahead but, how do I tell my friend? I don’t want to lose her. I know I’m looking for approval. I was always taught that looks were everything and I’ wasn’t good enough and she will say that I should rise above this. But, this doesn’t change the fact that I look in the mirror and hate what I see. How do I negotiate this? She is very important to me and I dread losing her but I am committed to doing this. How can I keep my closest friend and do what I have to do