Happy for My Friend, But Finding This Hard

[Llandudnocamping]

I’m struggling with something and would really appreciate some outside perspective.

I’ve made a new friend who has recently lost a lot of weight using Mounjaro. I am genuinely pleased for her, but she talks about it constantly and often sends me photos of herself. The tricky part is that I’m a similar weight now to what she was when she started, so it’s hard not to compare myself.

She’s also been giving me her old clothes. I know this is meant kindly, and I don’t think there’s any bad intent, but I can’t afford weight loss injections myself and I’m trying to lose weight through calorie counting and increasing my steps. Progress is very slow, which is frustrating.

I also live with a chronic illness, chronic pain, and fatigue, which makes weight loss much harder both physically and mentally. Some days just getting through the day feels like an achievement.

I know this is partly my own issue, but I’m finding it increasingly difficult to be around her because the constant focus on weight loss makes me feel embarrassed and inadequate. I feel awful admitting that, because she hasn’t done anything “wrong” and I don’t want to be unsupportive or resentful.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? How do you protect your mental health in situations like this without damaging a friendship or feeling unreasonable?

I would just give her the wide birth and avoid her. She sounds like a bore & a bit of a bully, she knows whats she doing by giving you all her clothes.

Do people really offer their friends their old clothes? That’s a weird thing to do regardless imo. I’d have told her absolutely not, no thanks, and not accepted any of them.

If she’s a decent friend, just tell her. Tell her what you’ve said here and ask her to stop talking about weight loss because it’s a topic that you find difficult. It’s not unreasonable to do that, and she has been somewhat tactless and the clothes thing is just weird.

Im the opposite, I've not told anyone and don't get why people do this. Xxx

A genuine friend wouldn’t do this, unless they’re not very bright.

It’s very cruel tactless behaviour.

She is being insensitive, especially giving you her old clothes, suggest you say no thank you next time she offers. Maybe you could try framing your thoughts differently, instead of feeling low about weight loss, focus on being proud of yourself that instead of jumping on the jabs, you’re trying to lose weight the natural way, which should help in the longer term. Don’t underestimate the importance of getting your steps in, I had a fantastic coach and it was one of the best pieces of advice from her. Also track food and nutrition if you aren’t already, focus on protein and fibre. Well done.

Op have you told her you want the meds, can’t afford them are struggling with jealousy and finding it difficult. If yes and she continues then she’s unreasonable, if no and she thinks you want to hear it and you gratefully accept the clothes then she’s not done anything wrong here, other than being a bit of a bore.

however Your quote above makes me wonder if this is genuine, or just another one of these threads wanting to attack people who take the meds. Another one in a very long line of them.

It is a genuine post.

I have told her I’d like to use them and I’m unable to afford it.

Its a shame because she’s a new friend and I thought we had a lot in common and she seemed to click with me , but the thing that made me think there was something hurtful in the message today was when she sent me the photo comparison and I said I felt I looked more like her ‘original’ pic. She basically ignored that and just said how magic mounjaro is because she hasn’t changed her lifestyle at all (her words).
Whereas she knows I’m having to put a huge effort into my calories/steps/exercise and lifestyle changes all round.

If she’s a new friend, surely just stop seeing her? I assumed she was an old and valued friend, who’d earned her place in your life.

Hold onto those clothes and give them back to her when she puts back all those kgs.
Have the last laugh.

This is amazing. Hold on, I kept your old clothes, here you go, they’re too big for me anyway.

Walk off and cut her out.

She doesn't sound like a good friend really, and tbh it also sounds like she's making things up about her use of Mounjaro. It's nonsense to say that your lifestyle doesn't change - you eat less. That's the point. Many people who take Mounjaro also put in lots of effort into calories, exercise, steps and lifestyle changes all round. If she's not, then I would say that's probably a mistake on her behalf.

I would knock this "friendship" on the head. You'll probably feel a lot better. I don't think it's worth spending any mental energy on wishing or hoping that she regains the weight in order that you can have the "last laugh". Just back away from the friendship and let it fizzle out.

Nothing worse than someone to bores on about stuff.

this is not a hill to die on

Hmm, that’s impossible to not change lifestyle, unless her lifestyle was just eating healthy and clean as otherwise you get very unwell.

its all hugely odd. So just end the friendship as she’s also lying about not changing lifestyle or putting effort in.

I think she might envy you and the hard work you are putting in, while she has resorted to injections. I agree with some others here, hand back those clothes when you have lost the weight and she has put it back on.

I too have a friend who started Munjaro and then I had what sometimes felt like a constant commentary on how many lbs she lost, how amazing she felt..she's off it now but is still going on every time we meet abijr
how amazing she feels etc etc. She's not humble about most things and I often have to bite my tongue as she's said completely
other insensitive things and I rarely get asked how I am, other than having to listen to have strong she feels. I feel for you. Some friends are drain not radiators but it's hard to untangle yourself. I'm glad she lost weight and she's happy with it but she's become very big headed about it all and it must be so lovely being up where she is looking down on us mere mortals 😂 No advice just that I know how you feel. By the way I'm not jealous, happy with my life and how I look, just would like someone to ask how I an
once and a while 🙄