A family friend who comes to my city from abroad every year wants to stay with me. This will be the third year running. She loves our city and wants to move here but can’t due to visa restrictions. (She’s from a first world English speaking country but feels too stifled there). The first year, she stayed for a couple of weeks and kindly pet sat while we were away. Last year, she had had a rough time just before she came with a bereavement and asked to use us as a base. I said yes. She said she would probably stay with others too but she ended up staying for over 3 months.
We have a good size house. She is perfectly pleasant and very easy company and independent.
Two things slightly wind me up though: she has never raised the issue of paying a bit of board or ever bought a token takeaway for the family etc.
I always offer her food as have to cook for DC anyway.
To be fair, she is not earning while she is over here and has high rent etc back home to still cover. I don’t really need the money but if I was staying for that long I would be mortified not to buy a token gift etc. Then again, I have to remember no one trained her as a child.
The other thing is the length of time… She is not needy in terms of always wanting to talk and does disappear to her room quite early. It’s just sometimes we want to have a family row, live like slobs or walk around in our underwear. I just feel slightly on edge having someone in the house for that long.
On the other hand, she is very pleasant. Has had a tough start in life and literally has no one to look out for her. She is tidy and has been helpful pet sitting.
But AIBU to feel a bit uncomfortable?
I know I am also being soft. Just want to know how to frame things or do I just try to be a good human being to someone who isn’t really creating any drama and needs a bit of support?