Was I unreasonable to call an ambulance / was it my fault.

[Sweetandsour11]

anbir of background : DD12 has a long standing medical history and has spent a lot of time in hospital. Although chronically ill she has done really well the last few years and avoided critical situations for a substantial time. We have a protocol that if she spikes a fever she has to attend A&E and be put on IVabs and bloods taken etc

on Sunday DD was fine her usual self and we had been out during the day. Nothing out of the character. Sunday evening she spiked a fever and as I always do I booked an uber to go to a&e which is around a 10 minute drive away.
DD started vomiting pretty severely and the uber refused to take her. I called 999 as she was rigouring vomiting a lot and was clearly not well at all. I explained to them about the situation and that she had an IV Hickman line in situ. They said that they would have to get a clinical person to call back who will then decided on clinical emergency.
40 minutes later they rang and sent an ambulance fast at this point.
when the paramedic arrived one of them seemed annoyed that they were sent to us. Kept repeating how close we were to the hospital but the issue is she couldn’t stand - he was soo rude and uninterested the entire time.
they took her obs and I knew they were bad. We were in the ambulance and the paramedic in the front asked the one in back if they do a pre alert to recuss and he said no.
he then said to me that “ when we have situations like this usually they would pre alert the hospital for recuss but because she was known there they will just turn up “
whrn we got there they just turned up with her in to normal treatment area. They know her but there wasn’t any indication given that she more poorly than previous times with a spiked fever as the paramedics didn’t do a pre alert and rolled her in to a normal cubicle asked the nurse who saw us if they knew her she said yes and they basically rushed off.
there was no indication she needed more help and it took a bit of time for it to be realised once in a&e. She deteriorated quite quickly and ended up in picu ventilated for 4 days.

surely the was the correct use of an ambulance ? 🥹

This is the first time I’ve had to call an ambulance in years. She hasn’t been the ICU etc since and was 16 months old.

That poster did say "or somebody else"

it sounds terrifying to be basically at the mercy of a) remote clinical triage deciding if you meet the criteria for an ambulance and b) availability of an ambulance when you have a child that ill. Sometimes there is just not an ambulance available to send.

A friend's dad had a stroke and they were told an ambulance would be at least 8 hours and to do everything they could to try and get him to hospital themselves. They had to go knocking round the neighbours to get help to carry him to the car.

So yes I would be thinking about back ups for next time, including if there were friends I could call in an emergency, or a local taxi company you use frequently (if nobody in the family drives) who would trust you to pay up for cleaning the taxi if she was sick, rather than a random uber driver who has no links to you.

Unfortunately the NHS is in such a state that just hoping someone else will sort quick and efficient transport to hospital for you every time isn't viable.

I appreciate if you haven't been to hospital in a while not everyone knows how bad it is, which is why threads like this should be a wake up call to everyone.

You need to learn to drive, you have an unwell daughter who constantly needs urgent treatment but you can’t drive. Seems like madness. I’d be making that an urgent priority

This! Why would you not learn to drive/have a car knowing you have a child that has regular medical emergencies. Very bizarre.

You need to be angrier at the situation.

Your daughter may have avoided a 4 day stay in PICU ventilated if the paramedics hadn't been so dismissive and the nurse had taken you seriously.

You need to speak to Pals.

And consider complaining to the ambulance service as well as I don't think PALS covers them.

This might not have made any difference, but a few years ago DD had a condition that could have resulted in a similar situation. Her consultant wrote a letter for us to hold on to and present to the ambulance that basically said to ensure that they took us seriously and to call ahead if we ever needed them. In the event we never did, but that letter was a huge comfort. Perhaps you could ask for similar to be put in place?

Definitely go to PALs though.

It's not her job to learn to drive.

If I'm by myself and my kid is really sick it's probably dangerous if I'm driving and she could collapse or anything could happen to ther in the car- if someone else is driving it's different because then you can keep an eye on your kid.

It's not Ops fault the ambulance service is under such pressure it's providing bad service.

And the Paramedic seemed very cocky and needs to work on their attitude towards sick patients.

If Op needed an ambulance she needed one and shouldn't have had to deal with such bad attitudes when her child is seriously unwell.

That’s a bizarre thing to say. I’d guess the majority of patients using A and E are within 10 minutes’ drive. I’m 5 miles from mine but it’s 10 minutes at night. I don’t understand why the paramedic said that to you; it’s their system which defines priority based on the symptoms provided.

It must be so hard having a child with a chronic condition. I wouldn’t want to be relying on third party help in emergencies though, echoing other posters.

No you weren’t wrong.
There are things I’ve been told to do
(for myself as a patient) by a hospital consultant I was sent to by my GP!
but the GP surgery haven’t got round to reading the mail!
(because sent to now (long) retired GP who was never ‘my’ gp, so why in his mailbox?).
I even include a copy of this letter to my sample but still get closely questioned? because clerks don’t read?! an A4 sheet stuck to eggcup size sample bottle 🙄.

Its as if we patients want to waste our lives mucking about in ambulances & a&e & handing in samples??? would we really make this stuff up just to fill our day? no we’re just doing as we’ve been told to do!

I hope OP, you & little child are feeling at least a little better.💐💐💐

We’ve had ambulances to the house 3 times in the last few years. Twice they were amazing and once awful.
DH called an ambulance in the middle of the night, I was asleep. He knew he was having a DVT.
When they came they clearly thought he was a time waster. They were very annoyed I wasn’t coming, it was 3am and I had to primary aged children asleep upstairs and no one to call who didn’t have children alone themselves.
They then clearly told A&E he was a time waster and was ignored. Only when a different doctor came to see him hours later that something happened, the doctor was furious bloods hadn’t been taken and it was a DVT!
A year later I had to call for a different issue, couldn’t have been more different. He was much better when they arrived but they insisted he needed to go in for further tests, told me there was zero reason for me to come in the middle of the night and he would give my number for someone to ring and waking small children would be ridiculous. He was admitted for 3 days.

I’ve had to take DD in several times, all but once I’ve driven. I only wish you could actually drop off outside A&E, it’s all ambulance bays so I’ve had to support her from the car park.

The paramedic who said not to call ahead made a bad call and needs further training. They clearly didn't understand the urgency of the situation. It is correct that you should put in a complaint to ensure that the paramedic learns from the experience, if you don't complain it will happen again with another child, potentially with even more serious consequences.

you realise driving alone with a child is likely septic and needing constant medical attention that I was Given is not safe right ?

@Isekaiedit literally is her job to learn to drive. Everyone knows ambulances cannot be relied upon now, she has a daughter with a PICC line and if she spikes a fever needs urgent care, yet hasn’t bothered to learn to drive! Unfortunately it’s the state of the NHS now and the OP has been quite short sighted by not learning to drive.

@Sweetandsour11no more dangerous than waiting god knows how long for an ambulance. What if next time there isn’t one available for hours. You need to take responsibility here. It’s disgusting that we cannot rely on ambulances anymore but that’s the reality

You are making huge assumptions.

To be fair he may have just responded to a call where he was too late to save the child because he was playing free Uber or materni-taxi all shift. The ambulance service is under extreme pressure & paramedics know that people are dying every shift that they could have saved if they got their sooner. It doesn't excuse his attitude but hopefully helps you to understand from his point of view.

It's not your fault though & most parents would have prioritized their own child.

It might be worth making an emergency contingency plan for next time if it's a chronic illness. You prob need to drive & access a vehicle if you possibly can or try local taxi companies who will be more understanding. Our local taxi has taken mine with sick bags & lots of towels - they understand it's not a bug that's contagious & know I would pay if there was any mess.

What a horrible and insensitive post!

I’m not even responding to this because it isn’t worth it and no one would have been able to drive in the circumstances I was in.

it isn’t a regular occurrence this is the 1st time in years she has been this poorly. Not seen even a HDU in 5 years.

I’m confused by this he wasn’t playing mum taxi why would he be upset in picking up a critically ill child if this was infact the case ?

Yeah

Had to take my seriously unwell kid

And had to park a 10-15 minute walk away.

It's different if someone else is driving.

They can drop you off and then park.

But if you yourself are driving with a sick person.

How are they supposed to walk all that way?
My daughter gets SVTs. Her heart rate can suddenly go up over 200.

If she isnt better in 10-15 I have to take them to a and e.

Once had to wait hours for an ambulance when this is an emergency situation .

Had to drive her once because ambulance wasn't coming.
Then how am I supposed to get her in the a and e? If I have to park far away.

In the end she luckily reverted to normal rhythm outside the a and e while I was deciding if I should just risk a ticket or not. And decided to just go home and risk her not being checked over, the other option was making her walk for over 10-15 minutes depending on where I found the hospital parking.

I absolutely wouldn't have wanted to drive in your situation. You put your kid I the front and she pukes or grabs you, you're gonna crash. Put your kid in the back, you're not paying proper attention to the road. She's vomiting, spiked a fever so at risk of convulsions. No way are you safe driving and as her parent, you know which option is safer cos this ain't your first rodeo so please don't let the paramedic and posters on here question yourself.

It might be worth speaking to the taxi company and explaining the situation - you called, she started puking so he refused and you had to wait X amount of time for an ambulance. In that circus can they have an override to take you anyway with the agreement you'll have the £80 or whatever in cash in the event of an accident.

You aren't wrong.

You did the right thing.

Yes it’s very easy to say you need to drive but when on our own and your maintaining their breathing making sure they don’t choke and aspirating vomit out of them it’s near impossible to drive. You would then need to somehow get them from the car when they can’t stand and are not babies. Also there would be no recus ready.

Is there some sort of klaxon here that goes off if it's suspected someone doesn't drive? It's so irrelevant! I can only assume passing a driving test is the only thing some of these finger wagging prats have ever achieved in their lives, the way they go on and on berating anyone who doesn't instantly leap in a car the minute a journey needs to be made. Obviously the op couldn't have driven, it would have been ludicrously dangerous. 🙄 Worrying that some of these dimwits are even allowed to be in charge of a car.

It warrants a formal complaint but not through PALS. It needs to gondirecrly to the CEO of the Ambulance Service, copoed to your MP.