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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to share my identity to access Social Media.

68 replies

Dbank · 23/01/2026 22:58

With the current proposals to limit social media to over 16, would by definition require everyone to use some form of age verification to continue to have access.

Would you be happy to submit personal information, be it a bank card, a passport or a facial image to a third party, most probably based outside of the UK and not subject to GDPR?

OP posts:
Itsmetheflamingo · 24/01/2026 16:09

BubblesandTiara · 24/01/2026 15:40

social media might be optional but privacy is not.

What does this mean?

dont share your identify = no optional social media.

how does privacy not being optional fit into this? It’s not clear what your point is

HolesInTheAlbertHall · 24/01/2026 20:19

"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

Tryingtokeepgoing · 24/01/2026 20:58

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 24/01/2026 13:56

There's definitely an elephant in the room in that the people making the restrictive laws will be mainly middle-aged (as am I) or older; whilst the people they're aimed at restricting are clearly the tween and teenagers.

Now, which of those two groups are the digital natives and, on the whole, far more adept and understanding of technology as second nature than the other group?

I'm not saying that it's not a good thing to protect children in any way; but this law is going to be so easy to bypass by those who want to. I saw a photo (on SM!) of a person standing in front of a random heavily-locked gate in the middle of an otherwise empty and completely unfenced field, and the caption was something like "When BBC iPlayer asks you to confirm that you have a TV licence". This will be very similar.

Digital natives are already middle aged I’m afraid…! Anyone born after around 1980 is considered to be a digital native! You’re perhaps thinking of the Google generation, who grew up with the internet - those born in the very early ‘90s I think. But then they are also early 30s, so approaching middle age as well ;)

PloddingAlong21 · 25/01/2026 05:10

Its a tough one for me.

The Internet generally needs more regulation. The companies we use today know so much about us anyway I don’t think them knowing our ID would change much.

I also think I would trust the safety and security of my data more with a private company than I would the government. The Government IT systems are archaic and badly managed. If someone wanted to hack them I think it would be far easier than some company holding my ID longer than GDPR requires.

I also think, sadly, most parents haven’t got a clue about online digital safety whatsoever. They haven’t got a clue what their kids do online or how to lock down and configure apps to make children safer. As such, if parents can’t/don’t educate themselves then we become reliant on laws to help protect them. It’s a need in a developing society

I just don’t know what they should be or best way for implementation. There is a need though. I also think the advisors and legislators in government are largely IT illiterate and we should be consulting specialists for some more blue sky thinking.

Anyone seen when Mark Zuckerberg got interviewed in congress and the old blokes had zero clue what he was saying as they didn’t even understand what they were asking? That’s the road we are generally on imho. Blind (random politicians), leading the blind (parents, also largely not cyber specialists).

Flutterbees · 25/01/2026 05:13

HoskinsChoice · 23/01/2026 23:46

How do the Australians do age verification? They're the first to block under 16s I think?

At the moment the social media platforms are identifying those users who they think may be under 16, and asking them to either provide evidence that they are over 16 or asking them to do a facial scan. The platforms are analysing people’s usage patterns to identify under 16s. It’s a slow process….a lot of my son’s friends haven’t been asked to prove age, and those that have, have just done the face scan.

Kimura · 25/01/2026 07:08

HolesInTheAlbertHall · 24/01/2026 08:46

I have to let a stranger on a scooter scan my passport if I get a red bull in my UberEats

What?? Really, I am genuinely astounded by this.

If you order an energy drink from Co-Op for example, it's the same age restriction as in store. I doubt a lot of UberEats drivers would bother if it was just done on trust, so I guess it's a way to protect the company. They literally can't 'complete' the order and get paid until they've done it.

mellongoose · 25/01/2026 07:29

I don’t think people should be anonymous on SM. They should own the cr@p they write!

Doone22 · 25/01/2026 07:34

They already have identity verification for lots of online things and only reputable companies are used. They don't just farm it out to any idiot with a computer.
The government uses the post office for example and considering they also have to do identity checks in person over the counter, and now do them online as well both methods have to meet UK Digital Identity and Attributes Trust Framework and pass top level encryption and security requirements.
If you apply for a passport someone somewhere has your data and stores it. You need to calm down or just go into a hole and pretend you don't exist. Good luck with that.

Itsmetheflamingo · 25/01/2026 07:48

Kimura · 25/01/2026 07:08

If you order an energy drink from Co-Op for example, it's the same age restriction as in store. I doubt a lot of UberEats drivers would bother if it was just done on trust, so I guess it's a way to protect the company. They literally can't 'complete' the order and get paid until they've done it.

It’s the same for age verification for say Royal Mail when you receive over 18 goods in the post your postman takes your Id

but then that’s the same in shops etc and we don’t think twice about showing a check out operator our driving licence

Kimura · 25/01/2026 09:03

mellongoose · 25/01/2026 07:29

I don’t think people should be anonymous on SM. They should own the cr@p they write!

Fair enough when it comes to the local village idiot posting rubbish on your community Facebook group (or MN!), but there are plenty of legitimate reasons someone may want or need to be anonymous social media.

Investigative journalists, whistle-blowers, people who've escaped abuse...it's a tricky one.

Itsmetheflamingo · 25/01/2026 09:05

Kimura · 25/01/2026 09:03

Fair enough when it comes to the local village idiot posting rubbish on your community Facebook group (or MN!), but there are plenty of legitimate reasons someone may want or need to be anonymous social media.

Investigative journalists, whistle-blowers, people who've escaped abuse...it's a tricky one.

can you explain this to me? I need to stay anonymous from my abuser. I submit ID to TikTok to get an account. How does my abuser access this data?

mellongoose · 25/01/2026 09:41

Kimura · 25/01/2026 09:03

Fair enough when it comes to the local village idiot posting rubbish on your community Facebook group (or MN!), but there are plenty of legitimate reasons someone may want or need to be anonymous social media.

Investigative journalists, whistle-blowers, people who've escaped abuse...it's a tricky one.

I disagree. You don’t HAVE to to use it. Those who do should be identifiable.

snowlaser · 25/01/2026 09:56

Just quit social media altogether. I deleted my Instagram account yesterday. It's time we all moved on...itbjust causes more harm than good.

lljkk · 25/01/2026 10:16

Dbank · 24/01/2026 12:02

You can still be anonymous on SM, it's the implications of sharing your identity to gain age verification that I'm highlighting.

i.e. A third party will be able to make the link between an element of your ID and your "anonymous" postings on SM.

My dad's first comment about harrasssment on SM: "Just don't go on there?"

Don't go on platforms that have age verification then, OP. That's your choice.

YouWillNeverGuessMyUsername · 25/01/2026 12:17

mellongoose · 25/01/2026 07:29

I don’t think people should be anonymous on SM. They should own the cr@p they write!

What's your real name then please.

Itsmetheflamingo · 25/01/2026 14:08

YouWillNeverGuessMyUsername · 25/01/2026 12:17

What's your real name then please.

But the point isn’t that other random users know your identity.

the point is the site owners do.

Dbank · 25/01/2026 14:20

lljkk · 25/01/2026 10:16

My dad's first comment about harrasssment on SM: "Just don't go on there?"

Don't go on platforms that have age verification then, OP. That's your choice.

I totally agree, and expect a lot of people to stop using SM, as has happened with porn.

I also agree with the principles of restricting SM from under 16 YO, but I've yet to hear of a viable way that actually prevents access for under 16YO, but maintains privacy for over 16YOs.

The reason is, there isn't away, but we can pretend that "the tech companies can be trusted to invent something" which is basic what the online safety act is.

OP posts:
mellongoose · 26/01/2026 07:01

YouWillNeverGuessMyUsername · 25/01/2026 12:17

What's your real name then please.

I’d be happy for everyone to share. But you probably wouldn’t believe me anyway.

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