So what would you do in this situation regarding dh this weekend

[caterpillary]

So, we have been going through a difficult time this year, lots going on including child in hospital for months, lost job, parent died.

we are arguing a lot.

this weekend we are going away for his birthday, we have a hotel but he refuses to book tickets for the thing he wants to do. He also always hates to book anywhere for lunch or dinner.
i have mentioned that we will need tickets to the thing but he doesn’t seem to want to get tickets.

do i just leave it and we end up arguing again when we are there?

or insist we get tickets?

Leave it - then if he can’t do it, it’s on him.

Personally I wouldn't have agreed to attend without everything booked but given it's tomorrow and he doesn't seem bothered about the tickets I would just go without booking. If he starts to be argumentative about it all whilst you're there then I would go and stay somewhere else or go home and consider if this relationship is something that can be fixed.

Can you cancel/ get a refund?
I would book dinner.

It doesnt sound like it will be much fun either way. What about postponing until you are arguing less?

Do he even want to go? Doesn't sound like he is that bothered.

Sorry if this is a silly question....can you just book the tickets dinner/lunch ?

If it's his birthday and you end up eating in the bar or the chipper...so what

Book something for your birthday

It's his birthday. He's made it clear that, for whatever reason, he doesn't want to book. I would take a step back, relax and let him take the consequences.

Agreed
and if it’s rubbish it’s his fault

This is what I’m leaning towards because if o do try and take control and book stuff he won’t be happy about it. I just kind of think it would be good if we could have a good weekend together and maybe some peace and maybe try and remember how we were before all the stress.
But if it all goes wrong because we haven’t booked anything I’m going to have to bite my tongue and I’ll be annoyed

If I do I think k he will say I’m taking over and

He is the one who wanted to go and booked flights and hotel. I didn’t actually want to but I’m going for him because it’s his birthday

So he uses you as his punch bag. Creates a situation through his choice, but then takes it out on you when his choice turns out to be not what he wants in the moment.