AIBU to give DD (7) the downstairs bedroom?

[girlrunningoncheese]

We have DD1 (6), DS (4) & baby DD2 (6mo). For now, the baby sleeps in our room but we’d like to move her into her own room over the next few months. The dilemma is, we have 3 bedrooms upstairs and a 4th (/reception room) downstairs. It’s a weird layout but the rooms/house are big and spacious - this was the compromise to get a house the size we wanted!

my question is, would it be wildly dangerous/mean/isolating to give DD1 the downstairs bedroom? It’s big and light, but I’m worried she’ll feel scared or lonely downstairs on her own. She’s quite sensitive (which is why I haven’t asked her opinion yet) but also sensible and not particularly wild.

I don’t really want me and DH to move downstairs, at least until DD2 is older and doesn’t need us so much at night. And I would rather that the kids don’t share unless there’s no option, mainly because the older ones sleep well and I don’t want them disturbed by a toddler.

YANBU - DD1 will be fine downstairs, you’re overthinking it and loads of kids sleep on different floors to their parents
YABU - it’s not safe to have a 7 yo on her own downstairs (I say 7 as she likely will be by the time we’d move her).

for full disclosure, my parents slept up a different staircase to me when I was a child! (Tiny cottage, not a mansion 🤣) but my sibling was in the room next door to me and it never occurred to us to mind.

Personally I wouldn’t as I feel she is too young.

when I was a teenager living with my parents I had my bedroom downstairs. It was a massive house so felt scary sometimes even tho I was much older. So occasionally I slept upstairs in the little spare bedroom.

At the moment I’d keep the baby in with you, until she’s 1 at least. Then put the 7 year old in with her brother for a few years then think again when your baby is older. If the baby ends up a good sleeper they might be able to share later or you could move downstairs with all the children upstairs.

I don't think I would, sorry. I've recently been looking at possible houses with an extra bedroom for our family and one in particular has a fab downstairs bedroom with en suite and I was pondering if we could give that to our nine year old son. It feels weird having him downstairs closest to the doors. He is very sensible.

I'm surprised at all these posts, what about people who live in bungalows and ground floor flats?

They still sleep on the same floor as their child! That's the point. It's the idea of kids below you that doesn't feel right.

I thought this, but I guess then the parents would also be on the ground floor…

You can get bunk beds that make sharing a room fun. This looks amazing and you could build your own more cheaply www.bedkingdom.co.uk/flair-dreamland-house-staircase-bunk-bed.html?gad_source=1#80=23?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=22756034290&utm_adgroup=&utm_device=m&utm_term=&gclid=Cj0KCQiA1czLBhDhARIsAIEc7ujQDu7TOS2Wako8qEVfyGK82FStOWCR_STVVpKhtpn2mRX29SrAn18aAu7cEALw_wcB

I think you should be downstairs. I wouldn’t mind a child on a separate floor to me, but above me, not on a floor below.

This was my first thought. My child had a ‘baby gate on his room until he was 13. He would have absolutely left the house if he was downstairs.

fires/burglary are also a big risk.

How about putting them in together and turn the downstairs room into a playroom for them to hang out in? Then if they want separate space at any time except sleeping they still have another room that’s fun to be in.

My 10 year old sleeps on the floor below me, there is only a staircase between us and it’s a 3 story house so not on the bottom floor. He’s done this since he was 2. He does moan about it every now and again though.

I wouldn’t .She’s too young.

We have the same layout (3 upstairs bedrooms and two downstairs reception rooms), I think DS1 (9) would still be scared downstairs. If we ever have DC3 we will move him downstairs but he'll be at least 10/11 by then!

Both my kids have gone through a phase of being more conscious of outside dangers aged 7/8 so I don’t think it will be a good solution for a few years in terms of your daughter feeling safe, irrespective of the actual risks. However, they aren’t teenagers and don’t need privacy so a visual separation might be enough — is your master bedroom not big enough to separate with kallax units or similar down the middle? You could then have the smallest bedroom as a playroom.

Just move downstairs! There’s no need to disrupt all the kids, just go up and down stairs at night, or share with the baby until they actually desperately need their own room or they sleep through.

No. Fine when they're a bit older. I'd be concerned about safety, but also about noise, assuming you're up and about downstairs after they go to bed. Agree a better plan would be to have them share and then a playroom downstairs - it means they have two separate spaces where they can get away for each other if necessary, and it gets their toys contained. Win win.

I wouldn't, we did this with my daughter but quickly moved her back upstairs! She became obsessed with locking doors and checking electrics. As soon as she went back upstairs, all the worries disappeared.
There is something comforting about being upstairs with her brother...we stay happily downstairs.

I enjoy having my room on the ground floor...can potter around in the evenings without bothering anyone!

I wouldn't, I think they're a bit young.

The baby can stay in with you for quite a while yet, and sharing can work well with such young dc.

You surely have a 3 bed house. And with 3 kids you could definitely make it work as a 3 bed house.

My kids were floor above from when my youngest was 6 months. I would never put them on the floor below and definitely not the ground floor (bungalow is different as you are on same floor)

I would just move yourselves down now - a flight of stairs isn’t a big deal at night tbh

I wouldn’t like it, I’d have your 6 & 4 year olds sharing for now and have the downstairs room as a playroom. Then move DD downstairs when she’s more like 9, she’ll probably be pleased to have her own space by then

My parents did this to me at 7yo. I wasn’t particularly sensitive but it really hit me - I remember waking up from nightmares and feeling really alone. Absolutely terrified and too scared to walk through a dark house to my parents’ room for reassurance. Then there were the spiders I had to deal with on my own, or the time I got stung in the middle of the night by a wasp that had got into the house downstairs. I remember loudly crying for ages but my parents couldn’t hear me downstairs, and I didn’t know where the wasp had gone. Mostly, I remember just feeling like I wasn’t really an important part of the family since my brother arrived.

I mean, was it the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone, or even to me? Of course not. And mostly it was ok. But it definitely wasn’t a great solution and it hit hard given my age.

No. I would put the ones downstairs who are likely to be last up at night- ie you! Get a baby monitor for the youngest but have the kids upstairs and you down. It would be fun for them that way, too, sharing a floor, and you’ll be aware of what they’re up to if they sneak around or get up early on a morning.

For a few months at least, you could even take turns going into your youngest DD’s room if she’s very wakeful at night, pop a single mattress in there for just in case.

Definitely don’t do it, we were broken into and they went into downstairs bedroom with 2 teenage boys in it. Let the children share rooms or keep baby in with you.