Aibu about my teenage ds?

[Whatadrama13]

My working pattern has always been 3 long days per weeks and then I do one weekend evening per week on a rota.

This has meant that I’ve always had 2 days at home while my dc were at school.

Because of my working week I’ve always done the bulk of the housework and cooking. On my days at home I would blitz the housework, do the shopping, do some batch cooking and watch some crappy TV on my own, in peace.

My eldest started college in September and his timetable now means that he’s at home on the days that I am.

It’s driving me up the wall. I can’t get on and do the things I want to do because he’s under my feet. Spending ages in the bathroom, in and out the kitchen making food and snacks. It wouldn’t be so bad but he keeps different times and he’s really getting in my way.

I know that there’s nothing I can do. I can’t change my work shifts, I don’t have any other time when I can clean and stuff.

Aibu and mean that it’s annoying me so much?

YANBU to not like the additional constraints but YABU to object to someone who lives in your house also using the kitchen etc. I suspect you need to organise how to share the space with him (e.g.: "I'm going shopping between 12-1, so you can make your lunch then, but from 1.30-4 I will need the kitchen to myself to batch cook for the week")

It's an adjustment, that's for sure! I feel your pain, with one of my uni' daughters living at home, her fiance here for much of most holidays, plus my other uni daughter for holidays. Trying to find a good time to do the main bathroom and the kitchen. . .

I don’t need two full days but due to some health issues I am a bit slower. But it’s not just that, he seems to get up just as I’m about to start cleaning, he wants to cook himself a breakfast then he spends an hour sitting at the dining table over his breakfast, then he has an hour long bath. He leaves a mess everywhere.

He will clear up eventually but I’ve had a set way of doing things for so long.

He will help and do things when I ask him to but I’m sure the mess he makes outweighs any chores he does.

I know there’s nothing I can do and I do love him but I’ve had a routine for years.

I think you need to work around him just as much as he needs to work around you. And he should be doing a fair amount of the housework as well - without being asked!

Why can't you tell him your routine and ask him to not be in the kitchen/ bathroom at x time?
Or, is there anything you could swap around to give him space to do the things he wants to do?
He probably doesn't realise how disruptive to your routine he's being.
Communicate with him!

I would be the same , I like my day off all to myself , don’t like anyone else in the house , it’s my time . There is a similar thread atm where the husband works from home on her day off and she wants the house to herself as he is irritating her .

I've a 21 year old uni student son still at home full time and it's definitely an adjustment. What has helped him keep more "normal" hours is a part time job on two of his days off plus he increases those during the holidays. Communication here is key, sit him down and explain then come up with a plan that fits both of you. It's his home remember and one day you may just miss him when he moves out so don't make him feel "in the way". Explain that you have stuff at home to do on your days off and give him some household jobs that he's also responsible for i.e. he does his own washing on a Wednesday etc, he makes tea for everyone on a Monday...setting him up for when he leaves home and treating him as an adult will go along way.

Sounds like you may be a bit of an introvert and it's actually the fact that you are not getting the time alone to recharge as much as the getting in your way in the kitchen.
Not sure what you can do about it. I have very similar problems with 2 adult sons at home with different routines.
Just remember it wont be forever.
Research parenting as an introvert/omnivert and see if this is you.

Talk to him. It's probably just not occured to him how much he's causing problems because he's just doing normal things like making breakfast and having a bath. Explain that this is your routine and you stick to it on order to keep the house clean and batch cooked food available for everyone's convenience while allowing time for you to also have some fun / relax on your days off. Go through the routine and how he can fit into it. Eg You start cleaning the kitchen / batch cooking from 10 am so if he wants to have a cooked breakfast he needs to be up and done with that before 10, including putting plates in the dishwasher etc. If you aren't quite ready to start the kitchen til a bit later sometimes it doesn't matter, he still needs to stick to your timetable.

I found this hard as well OP I’ll be honest. Do you mind me asking how old you are? I think we maybe reach an age where we need some alone time and get over stimulated very easily. Could he get a job to get him out of the house on a day or two? I used to ask mine to go to the gym and then I felt guilty! Likewise he’s not really doing anything wrong, it’s hard when they reach this age.