Younger people treated differently, AIBU?

[YourBrightFawn]

Me and DD (19) regularly go to the theatre and pay for the lounge package for before the show and during the interval. If you have food and drink in the lounge then you pay for it during the interval and not at the time of ordering, you always pay for it in the interval. DD went with her friend (20 years old) last night and was told that they couldn’t pay during the interval like everyone else would and that they had to pay at the time of ordering “in case” they “didn’t pay as younger people are less likely to pay” (DD said the staff member used those words) but everyone else in the lounge was able to pay during the interval as normal. DD doesn’t see the problem and says she was happy to just pay at the time of ordering when they asked and not during the interval like usual but I think it’s age discrimination and absolutely outrageous to judge people based on age like that. AIBU? DH doesn’t see the problem and DD doesn’t either but I think it’s outrageous and discrimination.

No

People make judgements based on past experience

Fwiw - middle aged women are by far and away some of the worst customers to deal with sometimes

I think it’s discrimination though for them to have judged them on their age like they did.
I agree, and find even more discrimination in situations like these towards my DS than my DD's.

When I’ve ordered food for the interval, I’ve had to pay upfront, give my name.
During the interval, the named pre-bought food is kept to one side & you can collect it.
This is both in my local independent theatre & an ATG one.
I’m 54.

That's because you're "general" audience

Booths/private hire rooms/suites operate differently

My first thought was that maybe its a policy related to the purchase of alcohol so the venue can verify age at the point of sale?

That would make sense, but that's not what was said by the staff member who said it was because they assumed young people would steal. Honestly, I'm surprised they didn't frame it as a 'challenge 25' type thing. That would be far less offensive, even if not the true reason.

Op I would ask them if it is a policy don’t complain just asked as a matter of interest but I can imagine they have been burnt by young people before it would make more sense to make people pay at the time of ordering for any age.

Indeed. The fact of having lived for years/decades longer means that you've had the opportunity to gain far more knowledge and wisdom and learn from experience than a child or young adult... but as we all know, many people never take the trouble to take advantage of that opportunity.

Ps was this show any good?

Surely the law forbids supplying alcohol to underage people; not just limited to selling it to them? Even if shops and pubs were running a promotion and giving booze away for free (subject to any applicable taxes or legal minimum costs), they still couldn't legally give it to under 18s.

Your DD hasn't had to pay any more than she would if she was 64. She has suffered no detriment. This is no worse than the corner shops who have notices up saying "no more than 2 children in the shop at a time" which all of them do because they have experienced a crowd of kids going in together and some of them distract or block sightlines while others fill their pockets with sweets. An honest kid intending to pay for his sweets suffers no detriment, but just goes in and pays. Your DD would only suffer a detriment if she was planning to abscond without paying.

Whether someone is bothered or not is irrelevant. I tend to agree this is wrong. Imagine if they said men are more likely to pay correctly during the interval than men (or vice versa), that wouldn’t be ok. Bit more extreme, which I accept but it’s essentially the same thing.

I got to the theatre a lot, admittedly, mainly the same theatre, but it shocks me than any theatre gives you anything without paying! I always buy a drink then get an interval drink but pay for boty before the show. I have never in any venue been able to pay at the interval.

That said, age profiling. Exists, it is what if is and I don’t see too much wrong with it usually.

Strong disagree. Take it further and suppose your local supermarket insisted on frisking certain groups of people before they leave, or making them pass through a scanner, because they might have been shoplifting - whether based on overall statistics or just prejudice.

If they only did this for female customers, or Asian customers, or child customers, or visibly disabled customers, or customers seen shopping with another adult of the same sex and believed to be partners.

But they've no cause for complaint, eh, because if they haven't been stealing, they've nothing at all to worry about?

Me and DD (19) regularly go to the theatre and pay for the lounge package for before the show and during the interval

Is this the "become a member" annual pass they do, or something you would buy separately each time you book ?
As I quite often get e-mails asking me to 'become a member' but don't ever remember being offered 'a lounge package' when I book for an individual show.

Your daughter is 19, and it sounds like she was genuinely unbothered by this. If I was her, I'd be annoyed you kept banging on about it. She can fight her own battles, if she chooses to.

It's a tab, like one might run up in a bar, for those in the hospitality areas who have host service and a private room/booth/lounge for preshow and interval

Membership is usually to get early access to tickets, a discount, sometimes free programmes, special events etc in exchange for supporting the theatre

Lots of theatres offer booths or lounge or hospitality as a separate thing. Somewhere preshow and interval where patrons can be guaranteed a seat, have host service rather than going to the bar, sometimes a separate bar too, nibbles etc

Slightly off topic but you did make me think of something related

I was on shift tonight with a manager from another shop. The guy is 18. And actually managed one of the busiest shops in our area. He constantly when covering other shops gets the whole kind of "why the hell have you sent us this CHILD?! WHERE IS THE ADULT??!!! attitude from people.

But I'll tell you now, that guy has his head screwed on and is quite frankly a better manager than others I've known twice his age!

So I get why that's an annoying thing to have to deal with..I do understand why people assume that. Because actually he was on a shift with a new starter, who was actually only a few months younger than he is, and they are worlds apart in terms of maturity and life experience.

"Extending" the equivalence to include an invasion of bodily privacy is a ridiculous straw-man argument. That isn't what is happening here.

All pubs and restaurants, whether or not they are attached to a theatre, have the discretion to choose whether to ask for payment at time of ordering or whether to allow a customer to have a running tab to settle at later, and they can choose whether to require a security e.g. having a credit card kept behind the bar or whether to go completely on trust. In general the more high end and expensive a place is, the more likely they are to have a general policy of being completely based on trust. It's perfectly normal at those places for most customers to have an experience where they can simple go in, order whatever they want, and settle up at the end - but entirely reasonable for the business to request up-front payment if anything about a particular customer makes the staff feel this would be appropriate, they are not under any obligation to give anyone credit.

If this really is "discrimination" the outcome will be that all these lovely high-end places would have to make everyone pay up-front for each round of drinks. Even places like the Savoy, and all the really posh hotels, would be forced to demand immediate payment for everything they offer, simply in order to retain the right to be cautious if they have a customer whose visual presentation makes it seem possible that they may not have the means to pay. That is unrealistic. It's disproportionate to require businesses to destroy a valuable aspect of the services they offer which enhances the experience for the majority of their customers, in order to avoid hurty feelings for a small minority of customers.

It was ruled illegal to charge more for male drivers even though they are more likely to have accidents.

I did say 'taking it further' - i.e. as a mind experiment to examine our thoughts on the principles; I'm obviously not suggesting that shops will or should actually do this.

What you dismiss as 'hurty feelings', many people consider to be appalling prejudice and discrimination. What if the theatre extended the benefits to all of the white customers but somehow reckoned that all black and Asian customers should have to pay upfront, because "You know, a lot of those Muslims can't be trusted; and they're all more likely to be foreigners/immigrants/asylum seekers than the whites etc."

The demographics of those who go to the theatre are disproportionately white (and middle class); so if the Khan family or Mr & Mrs Gupta want to enjoy a special night out and are automatically treated as 'likely dodgy' and singled out for inferior treatment, they're only a minority who end up with 'hurty feelings', so that's all just grand, is it?

And even when it was legal, it was statistically based on the probability of being involved in an accident - rather than the likelihood of having deliberate preplanned criminal intent.

Yes, that bemuses me too. I notice people take me a lot more seriously and with more respect just because I'm in my 40s. I'm still working a middle of the road job and living a pretty normal life, the main thing that has changed is my age!

I recently spoke to The Manager in my local Sainsburys about the way a staff member treated some of college kids. She was rolling her eyes and spoke rudely to couple of girls who made a mistake on the self service and actually shouted at one boy who politely said he was waiting for his friend to finish paying when she told him to go outside.
My son is 17 and while I appreciate that teens can be a pain in the bum I would hate for him to be treated like that for no good reason