To ask for an appropriate response/reaction to pass agg queuer?

[JennyWren5]

Klaxon warning - light hearted and unimportant

I was queueing for a coach this afternoon. The guy immediately in front of me was on his phone and fiddling with his suitcase whilst the queue was moving quite quickly. I wanted to go ahead of him, but stopped as soon as I saw him move again. He then resumed playing with his phone and fiddling with his bag, and I just thought, oh stuff it, I’ll just go in front of him.

He then turned around and said, ‘Excuse me? Do we not queue up anymore?’ He then said he’d let me go ahead if it was that important to me.

I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I didn’t say anything in return, as I didn’t think I needed to, I never ever queue-jump, but he was irritating me so I did. Should I have said anything in return?

I think given he was there before you and clearly making his way up the queue, albeit a bit less quickly than he could have, it was unreasonable to think you were entitled to go ahead of him. There was no reason for you to think he wasn't boarding the coach, or that you deserved to get on ahead of him, so I think it was rude of you and I'm not surprised he said something.
So appropriate response from you would have been "sorry, you're right. I was just bring impatient".

I once got on a train, no pushing or overtaking as far as I was aware, and some man said 'alright princess you go first, more important than the rest of us'. I was baffled and still don't know what he was on about! Not really the same but your post made me think of it.

How long should OP have waited until he stopped messing about? 2 mins, 5 mins half an hour?

Until the driver was ready for him to board - this isn’t a queue for a state funeral, it was probably five minutes tops. It’s no different to being in the post office queue and someone at the front hasn’t realised that they are being called forward, you just politely alert them to the fact. It’s not Game of Thrones…

Agree. Obviously it's a question of degree but if some faffer has allowed a sufficiently big gap to open up then in my view they are no longer queueing, they are just standing around. And if any smartarse is now going to challenge that with 'Well who's the judge of how big a gap is too big?': it's me, I am.

If he wasn’t moving forward and the driver can’t see that anyone else needs to board due to said person being way back from the door, the reality is that the driver will be closing the door and getting off. No way would I be waiting for him to stop messing and miss the bus.

I think you made the right response to say nothing given you jumped the queue OP!

You were irritated by him being on his phone (maybe looking for his ticket) and dealing with his luggage.

You probably couldn’t help being irritated but it doesn’t justify your actions. He was right to challenge you pushing in IMO.

You could have politely asked him to move on as people were being held up. But never queue jump. No excuse.

Am I the only one that doesn't understand the problem? If there's a queue then does it matter? Were other people going ahead of him or was he just not on the heels of the person in front of him.

I'm sort of imagining the picture here... I mean if it was then it's not like it would take any less time as eventually he (and the woman in the pic) catches up with the person in front. Nothing gained by jumping ahead.

Of course if I got the situation wrong then ignore everything I've just said!

You're assuming all of that - not once did it say that the OP was in any danger of missing the bus or that the person in front of her had reached the apex of the queue. He was simply slower than her and she was champing at the bit to get on. No one is suggesting that she just stands there and misses the bus - what a stupid notion! But that's also not remotely what happened here is it?

I agree with you! From everything OP has said - although there could be a dripfeed coming, never underestimate the power of doubling down! - there was just a gap. She was annoyed as she was being impatient, but there is nothing to say that he held anyone up, only that he was slower than she wanted him to be. If... he had reached the front of the queue and hadn't realised... and I say if, because again, there is no evidence that this happened! Then all you do is a polite tap on the shoulder and say: "Excuse me - I think that you're at the front of the queue and they are calling you forward." Rather than rudely overtake someone and then froth at the mouth when they point out (accurately) how rude you are!

No - you shouldn’t have moved ahead of him! If he was holding up the queue you say ‘excuse me we are moving’. Once you committed your crime all you can do is apologise profusely.

If there was someone else in front of him in the queue, he wasn't really holding you up was he? There's a tv programme where there is a big queue at an airport checkin and someone lets a big gap (like 10metres) open up in front of them before moving forwards, instead of shuffling forward as the queue moves. It made literally zero difference to the people ibehind them in the queue, but it drives them insane!
I think this is what's going on here, so yes yabu!

Sorry, once you start queue jumping civilisation as we know it will break down. You should hang your head in shame.
Just tut next time.

Something similar happened to me, 2 people chatting and not paying attention. I asked if they were queuing and they were really rude like duh what do you think. Then they didn't move forward again so i stood like a mug behind them and watched 2 random people stroll in front of them assuming they weren't queuing. They didn't notice or correct those people but I was still standing behind them too embarrassed to go around them. I had to interrupt them to say I was going in front as they clearly had left the queue. I was mortified, even thinking about it now still annoys me. Bloody idiots.

You say he was messing in his phone, could he have been trying to load his ticket?

I think you should have said "excuse me are you in the queue?" or something similar before just pushing in front of him though.

Next time though, instead of meeting pass agg with agg why not just explain yourself? "Oh, you weren't moving forward with the queue so I assumed you weren't queuing." You don't need to apologise but meeting his anger is only going to flare anger and honestly, it's not fucking worth most of the time.

Although we’re all on the coach for the same amount of time, I wanted to get on in good time to find a good seat, which I think is fair.

But, unless people were queue jumping, the number of empty seats when you got on would have been the same either way and the length of time those behind you took would, again, have been the same either way. So, no effect on you being "in good time to find a good seat".

Exactly. If you want the best seats then get there early to be at the head of the queue surely?!

Meh, he’ll get over it.

Both of you were bus wankers. 😁

To be fair, I am super impatient and he would have annoyed me (a lot). But I'd have to acknowledge to myself that it didn't actually change my ability to get on the bus, choose a seat, and leave on time. Wouldn't stop me from grumbling to myself, mind you.

Agree and I am the same, I would be champing at the bit in my head. I like to get on, get settled, etc. But I wouldn't jump the queue. Because, you know, manners.