To have said something about unsafe car seat straps

[Dinoswearunderpants]

I've just seen a reel on Instagram of someone from my NCT class with her two children aged 18 months and 4 years in car seats without the straps done right. The youngest had no visible straps at all and the oldest had her straps so loose they were on her upper arm.

I was so surprised I decided to look at her other reels and they all show the same. As it's videos you can see they're driving along the motorway.

I wasn't sure whether to say something but I couldn't forgive myself if she had an accident. There's no way the children would survive if it was a bad one.

I politely said I hope she didn't mind me messaging but the car straps were not safe. I said I hated to be 'that person' but I couldn't forgive myself if anything happened.

As excepted, the response was highly emotional and defensive. Saying her kids do lots of feral unsafe things, that car seats were only made legal in 2006 and she never had one as a child and she's perfectly fine. She said I was mum shaming.

I replied politely and said that was never my intention and I'm sorry she felt that way. She replied very abusively and then blocked me.

I know no one wants to be criticised (I literally have a post about my boss doing it) but I only said something out of concern. I know now to never say anything again but it just got me thinking are we really that defensive we can't see how unsafe it is to be driving on a motorway with your children not secure.

It's Insta. Not the real world.

My grandson says 'too tight' every time I strap him in (both his DPs and other DGPs are on the same page.) I've always said it's to keep you safe.
You did the right thing. Can't argue with stupid.

Well you can rest easier knowing you've said something. I always toy with saying something to parents using slings with smaller babies where the baby is not in a safe position. I never have but always worries me.

YANBU. This calling out mum shaming rubbish really needs to stop! Everytime someone points out something that could stop your child being harmed or worse killed, it should be welcomed. It's not mum shaming, its sharing information. You don't know what you don't know.

It really annoys me that whenever anyone tries to help by sharing information, theyre told they're mum shaming. No they're helping keep a child safe! We're risking childrens lives with this mum shaming crap.

Tbh she sounds like a terrible parent if that's her attitude to safety.

You should have done. Sometimes it just takes one person to give some courage to others do speak up.

If those straps aren't done properly and she's involved in an accident. It could be very bad.

Then let it go. You privately mentioned something, she got abusive.

But in future, don't message critical things, it rarely goes well!

Surely it's better the OP has found out the character of this woman?

There's no point in reporting. I once reported my neighbour to 101 as they continually took their newborn in the car without using a baby seat.

The mother would hold her baby in her arms in the front seat!

The police couldn't care less and basically tole me to mind my own business.

I don’t understand why you’re asking me why I wouldn’t follow car safety rules? I have never said I didn’t.
I said I would also be furious to be pulled up on something from a picture and hate this culture of calling other women out on it.

its not like they're standing in the road telling off men breaking the speed limit with children in the car, its very specific female criticism

She's obviously a bit thick OP. Also, who films their kids while driving down a motorway?

Who would you report her to? The police?

OP said she noticed in MULTIPLE videos. Not just a single photo. This is obviously not a one off