Sexless relationship

[Witsends123]

Me and my partner has been together nearly 7 years now, sex life been mostly good,(once a week) over the last 2 years we have had sex about 3 times, one of them times resulting in my baby being conceived, didn’t have sex once I was pregnant, longest time we went without is a year, if I didn’t insinuate it it wouldn’t have happened , it makes me feel like crap,he is a really good dad he works hard and help around the house and with house holds bills. We have spoken about this a few times and the last time we had sex was September,he’s acknowledged this and said we need to do date nights to get closer, ?? I thought we were close there’s obviously something I’m missing, I’m in a dilemma, what do I do? Do I split up and find someone else, it gross me out saying that because it’s for sex, but I cannot stand being in a sexless relationship when other things are good, I’m just confused, any advice greatly welcome

I never knew that. I was under the impression that all men wanted sex, maybe that’s why it’s got me feeling how i am and taking it personally, ya learn something new so they say! To be honest I havnt really tried it on with him I think im being stubborn or apart off me don’t want to get knocked back if he say no, I also don’t show him any affection either, think we’re stuck in a bit off a rut at the moment, we dont get no time just me and him,I’m deffo up for the date nights he’s suggested

Marriages have good years and fallow periods, kids work aging parents it wrecks your head. Before you give up give it another ging, start with intimacy in communication, saying caring things, relearn …..it will take time. All couples go through this at some point in their marriage.

Thanks for taking the time to write that out, it’s very appreciated, I’ll ask him what’s going on but I already know he will smooth it out agree with me and mention the date night over again, I just feel like I’m the only one to bring it up and if I didn’t we wouldn’t be intimate ever again but he has suggested date nights witch is a good sign

Sadly, I’m going to disagree. It’s likely an avoidance tactic to put off the actual conversation, which will probably never happen. I mean sure, go on the date to see whether it’s a good time to actually have a discussion. But I would be shocked if you get any real information from him.

Out of interest, have you ever wondered whether there’s an issue in the past, prior to these two years, at all?

I'd say your issue is not the aex, it's that neither of you are showing each other affection.

And you've slipped.into being co-workers in maintaining a house and kids.

Remember that this is his first child and the impact on him will be greater than you as your 3rd.

You really need to forget about whether you're having sex or not, and focus on caring for and about each other, and remembering who you are when you're not being mum and dad.

Date nights seem like a good idea but you probably want to ship all thr kids off somewhere so that you two can have a whole evening and night together. It can be hard to talk when you're being interrupted or you're having to hide from the kids

I’m not sure how it would be as I didn’t even mention anything about intimacy he’s the one who brought it up this time ,I’m sure he must think about it and not like the situation as much as I don’t like it because let’s face it who wants to be in a sexless relationship

Hi, the only reason why I’m focused on this is because it’s the only problem in our relationship, everything else is great hence my confusion moving forward

We do deeply care about each other we just show it it different ways if we didn’t care I don’t think they’d be much point in trying

Hiya, yea your right all relationships go through this it’s just weather people are willing to make the effort or move on

Did it fall away after baby was conceived? I wasn’t very clear from your post. If so, it’s clearly something you have to work on together if you’re not happy, but I also don’t think it’s unusual for the physical side of a relationship to slide somewhat when baby arrives.

No we was having the problem before baby was conceived

www.relate.org.uk. Relate ... "is the UK's largest relationship charity offering support for individuals, couples and families through counselling, sex therapy and mediation, both in person and online .." .

Look them up and talk to your partner about getting some counselling about how you can map a way forward.

Couple's therapy would really help you at least get to the answers you are missing, and very possibly help save your sex life now, and your marriage later (because if it keeps on like this you are probably doomed IMHO).