Are most people stressed most of the time?

[AliceAbsolum]

I'm not talking severe stress, or clinically significant anxiety depression, etc. More 1-4 out of 10 tension, irritability, worry. Whatever words you want to put on it. Low level fight /flight.

I'm very rarely calm and settled. Most of the time it's in the evening watching TV with DH if it does come.

Tbf I have had a very stressful life. Since I was born basically.

If you are generally calm did you have a good childhood?

Yes I’m stressed and anxious most of the time but I think I’ve always been like that - particularly the anxiety.

I’m generally able to mask it at work which I am glad about.

I also take beta blockers which help the physical symptoms of anxiety.

I didn’t realise for years that I was anxious. I thought it was normal.

I grew up with an extremely anxious mother, who has never recognised it.

I had a shit childhood but I am a very calm person. I don't feel as though there is a correlation. I manage my life to make sure it is as stress-free as possible and I keep track of my thoughts and try to keep them firmly in the present rather than ruminating about the past of worrying about the future.
I eat well, exercise, try to be sensible with my sleep and I do meditative practices on those occasions when I do feel like my nervous system is dysregulated.
I also communicate openly with others which, honestly, takes most of the stress away.

That's great. Jel!

I don't drink or do drugs I sleep well eat well talk to others don't over work, do 1hr of meditation a day... And yet

Yes. Constantly panicky. In my defence, something always seems to be going wrong. Car, boiler and my health so far this month.

I had a rough childhood and not great first couple of decades of adult life. Now in my 50s I'm stress free. Its almost all down to lifestyle as I now have no demands, no dependents, a job I can do with relative ease that I enjoy, a good relationship, enough money, a comfortable home and low stress friendships. I look after my health with diet, sleep and excercise, but it was losing or changing the things that were stressful that made the difference. Which is often not possible until you reach a certain life stage.

Yes true I'm the bread winner and we've got a 3 year old so it's full on.

I have been wondering this too. Is normal life meant to be this hard?! I am almost always stressed, although nowhere near as much as I was before I changed jobs.

Great childhood, great family, we were all very chilled and content. Now: kids, money issues, lack of childcare, mum not well, relationship issues-always stressed- the doctor was talking about me going on hrt or antidepressants but it’s all caused by my lifestyle (up in the morning hurrying and rushing to get kids to school, get to work, I work retail, home evening trying to get place together and kids homework done, dh home later, then bed then up again. I work 2 days most weekends so I can do school runs etc but unfortunately that means no lie ins or anything all week, no extra time with whole family, mum getting on in years and health and far away so I rarely see her as am too exhausted. A lotto win would change a lot lol

Im often described as calm but I feel stressed and anxious a lot of the time, certainly more often than not. I rarely feel truly relaxed.

I'm making more effort to give my nervous system a break and to avoid being 'on' all the time. I realised that even when I'm meant to be relaxing I'm still consuming information, whether that's watching, reading or listening to a podcast or talking to a friend. It's all data that I'm taking effort to process, which isn't actually 'switching off'. Meditation, walking, swimming or having a bath without reading/listening to anything, etc are better activities with much less data input.

I would say that i am in the middle. I am calm most of the time. However i go through phases of feeling panicky if something goes wrong. The problem is that everything seems to go wrong at the same time. Then it feels like nothing will go right again.

No I hardly ever feel stressed. Only if something out of the ordinary occurs. I have always been a generally calm and pragmatic person.

Yes, and most of my friends and family suffer too. Mainly the women-not sure what that says really. I feel like Anxiety is my middle name, been that way since I was born. Fearful of nobody and nothing in particular, but if i have to multi task or have a time and date to prepare for or an appointment, I feel like anxiety is going to finish me off. So easily overwhelmed.

Do you know why that is?

I think the pace and the instant expectation of everything today does make people more naturally anxious and feeling rushed. Things we used to go into places for we now do ourselves online inbetween the main stuff we have to do. Driving, with so much traffic, everyone is in a rush, the sheer volume to navigate. Life was definitely more simple when it was slower paced and you had to wait. Xx

I’m just not good at coping with stress any more. I used to work in sales and could cope fine. But then 2 small kids close together, full time stressful job and zero help really hammered my nervous system. I then got cancer (always wonder about the stress - cancer link).

So I’ve now changed my life to try and reduce stress as much as I can. Also have ADHD which causes nervous system to be overwhelmed continually. Then I got long Covid. I often wonder if all these things are linked….

Luckily I have a DH who is great at coping with stress and very much talks me down the whole time.

My childhood was ok sometimes but was marred by dv and an alcoholic parent. But I think it’s made me very resilient. I’ve had one instance of anxiety that was work related but that passed and generally I think I’m a strong person and I don’t get stressed easily.

Op, I think alot of people are anxious; some are just better at masking than others. I am jealous of these naturally relaxed individuals that look like they're permanently on diazepam.
We are all just wired differently, differences in the brain and then shaped by childhood environment, and life events.

Thanks for this. Especially reassuring for those of us in our forties still in the thick of it!

Op- I think a horrible childhood factors in to stress levels as there's no comforting normality to ground you. Can also be dealing with varying levels of ptsd.

I was an anxious insecure child, grew up in a tense household. I thought I had managed to overcome all of that as a young adult, however in my late 40s it came back with a vengeance, I battle with it on a daily basis now.

I had a good childhood but am subject to anxiety. There have been times in my life when I have been very anxious, mostly work related, though not all. However for some years now I have been fine. I take an anti anxiety med. Work has settled down and I feel very confident there. My ds is older so much easier. We are comfortable financially. So things can change over time.

I dont get stressed out with stuff, but my body will stress me out.
So next week im going for a hot stone massage that should help.

I would say I’m a pretty relaxed person, my dad is so chilled he’s horizontal and my mum used to seem highly strung but in reality she was just super organised. Never had to take medication for anxiety or anything like that. We did have a happy childhood, very solid home life and they are super supportive grandparents now I’ve got my own house and children etc.

Pretty sure I’ve been stressed ever since I had my first child. We either have no time or no money. I’m always rushing about because my day leaves no time between tasks and by the time I stop at night I’m too tired to do anything other than veg on the sofa. I haven’t slept regularly for years so it only takes one appliance breaking, a large bill, big meeting/ job interview, medical issue and I’m in a state of high alert. I genuinely don’t remember the last time I felt relaxed for a prolonged period.

My guess would be most people get stressed some of the time.
Some people are rarely stressed.
Some people are stressed a lot of the time.

I don't think it is necessarily down to our childhoods though.
I have 3 adult dc - all pretty much the same upbringing. One never stresses, as laid back as anyone I know, one stresses all the time about things there really is no need to stress over, and the other just gets stressed now and then, for what would seem like valid reasons.

Most people I know are stressed, but seriously stressed, but they make the effort of exercising nearly daily to manage it.