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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How did you feel when your abusive ex got remarried?

15 replies

weddingbeez · 21/01/2026 13:52

I’m not really feeling anything. He’s still abusive towards me financially so the CMS takes money directly from his wages. He’s can’t get near me to abuse me in any other way anymore thankfully. He’s emotionally abusive towards our teenagers and has been physically abusive to our eldest who no longer has much to do with him. Despite saying he wanted to marry his affair partner they broke up and he’s now with someone else and getting married in a few months. Our eldest isn’t happy about it, the youngest is ok about it and his kids to AP are ok but they are still quite young.
His fiancée has two kids and is very vulnerable from what the kids say and I worry for her and her kids because there’s lots of arguments and questionable behaviour from him. He’s slept with most of the women he works with so that makes for a tricky guest list! Not my circus but two of those monkeys are mine and I’m worried for them. As a general concept I think he’s a fool to remarry at 50 with no kids together but on a personal level I expected to be upset but actually I feel very little. My main concern is getting our eldest through it. He’s not well mentally and although he’s left home now I still worry about him and how he’s feeling.

OP posts:
AppleDumplingWithCustard · 21/01/2026 21:54

Sorry for the new wife.

weddingbeez · 21/01/2026 22:03

I think that sums it up quite well. I do feel sorry for her but then she knows exactly what he’s like so she’s going into this with her eyes wide open.

OP posts:
SqishySqashmas · 21/01/2026 22:32

I felt a sense of relief that he is now well and truly someone else's problem and that I am no longer part of it. Also, I feel sorry for her and feel like she's very naieve if she thinks she's so special. I think she thinks she's won some kind of prize but I would rather be in my position than in hers.

I think he has been repeating some old patterns. He's a very vile, nasty and malicious man.

realsavagelike · 22/01/2026 02:22

Utterly unsurprised. He was remarried within 2 years of me ending our 20 year marriage. A typical serial monogamist incapable of being alone.

disturbia · 22/01/2026 02:32

How do you know she knows exactly what he is like? He will certainly repeat the behaviour with her and damage 2 more children

PollyBell · 22/01/2026 02:54

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 21/01/2026 21:54

Sorry for the new wife.

She made her choice

Octavia64 · 22/01/2026 03:03

Happy that he would no longer be focusing on me.

it’s given me a lot of peace.
it’s given my kids a lot of peace (eventually)

MammaBear1 · 22/01/2026 04:44

Sorry for his new wife but then she’s as horrible as he is so they don’t spoil a pair 🤣

WonkyMirror · 22/01/2026 05:09

PollyBell · 22/01/2026 02:54

She made her choice

She made her choice? Bloody hell, that’s horrid!

weddingbeez · 22/01/2026 19:50

@disturbiabecause of family meetings due to our eldest’s issues and what the dc tell me happens in the house when they are there. Maybe she thinks getting married will make things better but he’ll likely feel trapped and start with the roving eye, hands and dick.

OP posts:
disturbia · 22/01/2026 20:02

I understand now and agree he will certainly repeat his abusive behaviour

Thesuperlativesistillloveyou · 22/01/2026 20:14

WonkyMirror · 22/01/2026 05:09

She made her choice? Bloody hell, that’s horrid!

Hed probably use same methods to reel in and then reveal true colours ..it's what abusers do.

JohnofWessex · 22/01/2026 20:19

If she has children what about talking to social services

Joeyandchandler · 22/01/2026 20:23

At first, I felt sorry for her but then when I knew she witnessed how abusive he is and still stayed with him-I felt nothing. Found out he’s doing to her exactly what he did to me, same pattern in terms of timeline of proposing to her etc so more fool her.

DierdreBarlow · 22/01/2026 20:35

I'm another who felt sorry for the new wife. She was actually quite nice, too. Years later, she got rid of him...Now I wonder why?

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