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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Relationship over

4 replies

datgyalb · 21/01/2026 08:36

Hi I’ve been with my partner for nearly 2 years we have a baby it all happened very fast…we really don’t get along we argue a lot he doesn’t help with the baby I mean he will feed her when asked bath her but it’s mainly when I ask .. he’ll take her upstairs be on his phone whilst she is laying there he will interact a bit then get back to his phone .. yetrday she was in the cot and he was on his laptop with ear phones in when he has time off work he don’t want to wake up do night feed.. he has also said he will not do any family outing with 2 of my older kids they don’t speak to him (asd) and the fact when I first met him they thought his mannerism was rude and they just don’t like him..I feel my family is now in 2 separate units me him baby and me my other kids (diff relationship) .. I have asked him to leave but he makes me feel bad days he wants to stay bond with the baby etc but he’s not really doing that but I feel so guilty if we go our ways I don’t know why maybe it’s because he don’t have family here or that I know he lost his mum at a young age but I know I cannot continue like this either .

OP posts:
Kingscallops · 21/01/2026 12:17

Yes he needs to leave because his contribution is zero and that includes the emotional contribution. If your kids made it clear they didn't like him, it might have been wise not to have a baby with him. I know that doesn't help. Put you and your kids first.

BlueMum16 · 21/01/2026 12:20

Have you moved a man into your family home your DC don't like?

I would suggest he moves out again, see if he will step up as a parent to your joint baby and spend quality time with them.

Sanasaaa · 21/01/2026 12:31

He guilt trips you into providing housing because he can't be bothered to house himself, or to find a new woman and kids to leech off.
Don't fall for it, tell him to get out of your property.
Communicate with him only by parenting app about contact times with his child, and start a maintenance claim with CMS.

At only two years of dating this is as good as he will be, and he has completely failed.

ginasevern · 21/01/2026 12:36

So you moved a man your kids hate into their home and had a baby with him? Why? Anyway, you need to move this waste of space out and then try to heal the damage done to your children.

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