Is this unprofessional (childcare)

[Abcdanon]

I found a childcare setting through a recommendation from a friend. She originally found this setting online. A couple of years have passed and I’ve noticed that she’s built a relationship with the owner - started as going out for drinks, tagging each other on SM, now going on holiday together.
She does things for her kids (like still take them on days she’s closed, drop off to school) which she doesn’t offer to anyone else so it’s more of a private favour.

It doesn’t bother me in the sense that it happens - I don’t need anything extra from this setting so it’s not like it impacts me that she gets favours but it got me thinking - what’s the “code of conduct” for childcare settings? Have looked online a bit and as much as it’s not prohibited, the EYFS and safeguarding conduct expects employees not to form personal relationships because of things like favouritism (even perceived favouritism) and to ensure all families are treated equally.

In any other profession things like this would be frowned upon. Thoughts?

Sounds absolutely fine to me. She's doing things for her friend's kids on days when she's not working.

She's doing stuff for her friend's kids on her day off. As anyone doing any other job might do for their friend's kids on their day off - irrespective of their job. It seems ridiculous to say it doesn't bother you when you're looking up codes of conduct and a really weird thing to do frankly. What's it got to do with you?

Is she still looking after this child on her working days?

As in, she’s still charging. So it is ‘closed’ but she’s still offering the service to her and a few others that have been befriended

Yes, so the child attends on the open days but on the days she is closed, she will make exceptions

Sounds fine to me. You sound jealous!

It doesn’t bother me to the point where I’d report her, it just seems like a conflict of interest and I suppose in other professions (say medicine for instance) befriending patients / clients isn’t professional. I’m just wondering hence a MN post

Fair enough!

Lots of nursery workers have their own children attending settings….those kids get perks that others don’t….I’ve seen it….doesn’t mean anyone else’s child is missing out though

Why are you even looking this up? It’s fine, and it’s really nothing to do with you.

She does things for her kids (like still take them on days she’s closed, drop off to school) which she doesn’t offer to anyone else so it’s more of a private favour.

why on earth would someone not be allowed to offer "private favours" to friends, or family?

If your mum was the owner of a nursery, she would offer you childcare at weekends and on any free day she'd have - would have seriously have a problem with that?

not to form personal relationships because of things like favouritism (even perceived favouritism) and to ensure all families are treated equally. the what now?
blimey, you are going to be a handful in Primary school 😂

Well you couldn't because you'd have nothing to report her for and who would you report her to?! She's done nothing wrong! Lots of people meet friends through work. And lots of people manage to maintain professional and personal boundaries. Sounds like you want out of hours care for free.

🤦‍♀️

Where on earth have I said that!! I also said she charges her on those days 🤦🏼‍♀️

Im not sure why women on MN have to scold anyone who ponders a topic 😂

Because this sounded like you had green eyes (but were stopping short of saying you want to pay for the extra time too): I don’t need anything extra from this setting so it’s not like it impacts me that she gets favours.

How is it a favour if she pays then?! You can't have it both ways!

I'm not scolding you, I'm not your mum, but you are being really whiny!

What’s the real problem here OP? You’re envious you’re not in the ‘friendship’ group? You could do with more childcare but some days are ‘closed’ to you? I doubt it’s got anything to do with professionalism. It’s entirely up to the childminder how she arranges her life.

You'd think very poorly of me then 😂
I'm a nanny working for 3 families currently. I don't work Fridays for anyone but one family have asked if I could help them out, I said yes and wouldn't say yes to anyone else.

Another one of them and I get on particularly well, last night we all went for drinks and dinner whilst someone else babysat, Tuesday the dad and I have cinema tickets, the mum and I are going away with a mutual friend this summer.

We also manage to have professional boundaries when it comes to work.

A childcare provider, likely to be paying her team close to NMW within a privately owned business, doesn't have to be able to justify charging mates rates and helping out friends.

Members of the medical profession, lawyers, chartered accountants etc are bound by codes of professional ethics and are answerable to disciplinary hearings by their professional bodies. Their professionalism is defined by a need to act in the public interest.

You're comparing apples & pears.

You will be horrified, but if you have a medical professional (GP, specialist etc) as a parent, husband, sibling or friend, you do not wait for a regular appointment to get their medical opinion 😂

And if your bestie is a dentist, you are seen and treated immediately, before or after hour if nothing else is available.

To be fair - this is a good point. I suppose because of the nature of corporate work I do I always think policy - but you’re right in saying that this isn’t that kind of business.

I literally don’t want anything else from this setting - it works for me as is, otherwise I would have chosen something else.

It doesn’t need to be personal to want to discuss a perception something creates.

If it doesn't affect you then I am not sure why it is occupying any space in your brain - including other people's perceptions - what has it got to do with you exactly? Literally nothing. Sounds like stirring. Bet no one else cares.

I can see where you're coming from OP but there is no professional code of conduct for early years educators. A lot of settings will have restrictions on staff friending parents on social media but more from a reputational point of view than anything else. Some settings have a policy on working with your own child.

The nature of most settings is that parents and staff are local and inevitably know each other and may well be friends.

This, but you could file a report to Oftsed Op?
They have a special “None Of Your Business” department it’ll fit right into!

Stirring? Do you know them? I’ve literally not voiced this to anybody apart from an anonymous forum where I’ve asked for random, unaffiliated people’s opinions.