Its not your hormones!

[Putthewashingout33]

aibu to ask women to stop saying 'oh maybe its my hormones' / I'm peri when complaining about unreasonable behaviour? Its like you're gaslighted yourselves! 'My husband takes 5 solo holidays a year and never changes a nappy and I'm a bit overwhelmed or maybe its my hormones from my 6th pregnancy'... no! He's wrong !

I probably should have written a longer OP but my comment was sparked by a couple of posters talking about clearly useless men who left them to do everything and they were asking 'should I be angry or is it my hormones?' Im not denying hormonal rage or indeed menopause, i just dont like seeing women second guess themselves when they have every right to be angry about a particular situation. Am 52 btw and clearly serene in every way...

People are being obtuse. Theres nothing wrong with identifying menopause as a cause of some problems or stress.

I think what OP means is when a man does something unbelievably unreasonable and the post says: “This may be my hormones.” For example: “He went out on a three day bender and shagged someone, now he’s refusing to help around the house. AIBU or it it my hormones?”

No, love. All the dopamine in the world can’t polish this turd of a man.

Men frequently use “hormones” to gaslight women into thinking they are being unreasonable. If you think he’s being a bellend, chances are you are right, regardless whether you are peri or PMDD or whatever.

I agree with this which is why I am slightly suspicious of the current menopause craze we are in. Yes its good that the stigma has subsided but its at risk of becoming another fucking excuse to tell women they have jelly for brains.

😁

Thats what I meant, thanks.

Hormones really are responsible for a lot. They turn one of my teen daughters into a weeping mess two days a month. Over the last few years I've had a few major fluctuations with significant effects on my moods and concentration.

It is a faddy thing now for sure, and there are people who totally over-egg it, just like half my symptoms are apparently evidence of ADHD or ASD or some kind of food issue. (They aren't, except my piles which are evidence of my not drinking enough. No one wants to talk about piles though, thank goodness.)

I can't say that I have really noticed anyone saying anything like that.

👏🏽

Come off it its on masses of threads on here where a man has been an unequivocal arse and an OP will say: “It may be my hormones”.

YANBU
I'm of that age. Sick.of everyone blaming perimenopauae.
I say to them - maybe you're just pissed off cos you're 50 and had a bad day and sick of your job and the bullahit that comea with it
Maybe you're just tired today
Maybe that person is pissing you off because they are not annoying, not because of perimenopause
It's like a broken record
Why does wverything have to be labelled

You can't have any physical ailments or strong emotions from age 35+ without someone on here suggesting it might be peri. Women can actually have medical issues unrelated to their hormones...

I agree and it infuriates me. It allows people to get off the hook for deeply unreasonable behaviour.

I also think its dangerous because people are so quick to attribute every symptom under the sun to "peri" that they could ignore more serious things.

I’m glad it’s not just me, I’m so tired of seeing posts where the OP is blaming her hormones for crap she’s experiencing externally. I find it quite demeaning to women. Not to say that menopause doesn’t add an extra dimension. But it doesn’t make your job crap, your husband crap, your relationship crap, your children misbehave and it certainly doesn’t make you unreasonable for being unhappy.

I absolutely couldn't agree more!

I have no doubt that some women experience perimenopause from their early 30s - a woman I know went through menopause in her early 30s. But the fact that everywhere woman posting on MN asks "... or ak I just in peri?" drives me mad.

Just as much as when it's offered as an explanation by someone else.

Horrendous work conditions? Workplace bullying? Work related stress? Don't he daft. It's just peri!

Husband or partner being lazy? Lying? Just incompetent? Nope. You're just 'in peri'!

I also don't buy the bullshit that we're all just people pleasing martyrs until oestrogen levels drop. You might be/have been random lady posting on the Internet, but you don't speak for me!

Ummm what?

Most people I hear complaining about peri are women who drink too much, eat the wrong things, have excess weight and don’t exercise etc.

A male relative assured me recently that his wife's extramarital affairs are due to her excessive perimenopausal libido...