DP and I have been together for over 15 years. We have three children and own a house together. We have been engaged for most of that time. We’ve never got married for a multitude of reasons mostly financial but also because there are some family dynamics that on my side have made things a little tricky and have always put me off.
The time has now come where we really do need to get married mainly for tax purposes but also because our children desperately want us to. Aside from them that we love each other and are very happy together so there is no reason for us not to be married.
AIBU to elope somewhere just with our children and do this on the sly? Both sets of our parents are still around (although do have health issues so couldn’t travel) and I can’t help feel super guilty about the prospect of doing it ‘without them’. And the same for our siblings too to a lesser extent. Having said that, I have never wanted the big wedding, we can’t afford it, I don’t want the stress, I’ve realised I just want to ‘be married’ already - not a wedding or the attention.
We could have a party to celebrate at some point with family only, I wouldn’t be adverse to that but I have realised we could do this and not even tell anyone! I love my parents and can’t decide if this is just ‘mean’ but I really just want it to be low key and just us (and the kids). I know we will need two witnesses.