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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it normal for a toddler to whinge literally all day

16 replies

oBoltFire · 19/01/2026 11:11

I feel awful even typing this but I am at my absolute limit this morning. My toddler has been whinging non stop since waking up and I mean from the second her eyes opened. Everything is wrong. Breakfast wrong (even though its what she asked for), cup wrong, spoon wrong, wants to sit on me but then cries when shes on me, wants down then cries when shes down, wants the tv on then screams when its on, wants a snack but throws it on the floor. Ive tried changing scenery, going in a different room, toys, books, songs, cuddles, leaving her alone for a minute, nothing makes a dent. Theres no temp, shes slept ok ish, shes eaten, nappy fine. Its just constant low level moaning and crying and I can feel my whole body tensing every time she starts again. Ive also got the baby needing feeding and Im finding myself getting really snappy which makes me feel even worse. I know toddlers are hard and Im not expecting sunshine and rainbows but this feels relentless and I dont know if this is just normal or if something is actually wrong and Im missing it (teeth? ears? just being two?).

I know I probably sound like a horrible mum and I do love her to bits, shes normally funny and sweet and we do have good days, I just feel completely worn down by the noise and negativity today and its only mid morning. Im trying to keep my cool but Im failing internally. Is this just a phase that everyone goes through or does this sound excessive enough that I should be thinking illness or something else going on? I just need to know if this is within the range of normal or if I should be worried.

OP posts:
Seeline · 19/01/2026 11:15

It sounds quite normal for 2!

She could be going down with something, teething, have a bit of a headache/stomach ache/ earache etc. She could be a bit fed up with the baby. She might just feel a bit down and grumpy today.

My Mum used to say we had got out of the wrong side of the bed when we were like that - I never understood because my bed was against the wall and I could only get out one side!

Try a bath.
Or a good walk outside.

Assssofspades · 19/01/2026 11:16

Sounds like my just turned three year old, I have no concerns other than her constant whinging and demanding, which I'm sure will pass in time. Just sticking to my guns with her (mostly)

chellewillnotbebeaten · 19/01/2026 11:18

I have a just turned 4 going on 14yr old. Mostly everything is ‘no’ ‘I don’t want to’ ‘no mummy that’s no a good idea’ 🤣
etc…… I’m putting it down to a phase…… I’m pretty sure it’s normal

Whyarepeople · 19/01/2026 11:20

I genuinely considered getting ear defenders when my DD was this age. She moaned from morning to night, about literally everything. It was infuriating.

Now she's a teenager who snaps at me all the time, so I'd love to say it gets better but...the one plus is that she's at school all day! (She is lovely really, I adore her).

Binus · 19/01/2026 11:23

If it's out of the norm my guess would be she's coming down with something.

ThatWriterInTheCorner · 19/01/2026 11:23

This sounds both completely normal and incredibly tiresome! She might be coming down with something or cutting a tooth, or she might just be having a grumpy day.

You could try a dose of their usual painkiller to see if that improves things?

Sending solidarity. Sometimes parenting is just a slog.

PullingOutHair123 · 19/01/2026 11:26

Agree with PP - definitely a case of getting out of bed on the wrong side!

I'd get out the house completely if I was you. That's what I used to do. We'd go to the local lake, see the ducks and geese etc. Distract them out of their bad mood.. Maybe stop in the park. If all good, we would then go to a small cafe (complete with toddler toys) for a half jacket potato and beans. A real treat!

Head home in time for a nap... And hope she got out the right side of bed after that!

oBoltFire · 19/01/2026 11:33

This is reassuring to read even if it doesnt magically make the noise stop. I think part of whats getting to me is that it feels so personal when youre in it, like youre doing everything wrong, even though logically I know shes not doing it on purpose. She is nearly 4 so I keep thinking she should be past this stage but clearly not. I might try a bit of calpol and see if that takes the edge off in case it is teeth or something brewing. Getting out the house probably is the right answer too, its just so much effort with the baby as well and Im already frazzled, but sitting here stewing clearly isnt helping either. I do sometimes worry shes struggling a bit with sharing me since the baby arrived so that probably doesnt help. I guess today is just one of those days and I need to lower my expectations and get through it without losing my mind.

OP posts:
QuickPeachPoet · 19/01/2026 11:55

Teach that she gets ZERO attention when she whinges.
Normal voice please, I don't understand you and carry on what you're doing.

ghostofchristmaspasta · 19/01/2026 12:01

QuickPeachPoet · 19/01/2026 11:55

Teach that she gets ZERO attention when she whinges.
Normal voice please, I don't understand you and carry on what you're doing.

Absolutely this, when mine was 2.5 ish she had a whine phase but I completely ignored it and it was long gone before 3. There is hope!

QuickPeachPoet · 19/01/2026 12:15

ghostofchristmaspasta · 19/01/2026 12:01

Absolutely this, when mine was 2.5 ish she had a whine phase but I completely ignored it and it was long gone before 3. There is hope!

@ghostofchristmaspasta My first didn't try this, but the second did for a very brief time until he worked out his sister could imitate him with alarming accuracy and he soon packed it in hahahaha

HettyMeg · 19/01/2026 12:18

"I'm sorry you're feeling fed up. I feel fed up sometimes, too. But you making that noise is not going to make us do anything differently." usually helps with whinging here (provided you've ruled out an obvious "cause")

AutumnAllTheWay · 19/01/2026 12:21

Yes, very. Nearly drove me nuts.

They're either tired, bored, tired, teething, tired, wanting something, tired, frustrated, or tired at that age.

Solidarity. It does get easier!

FlyingPandas · 19/01/2026 12:25

If it's relentless beyond the norm then I'd say she's probably coming down with something. If 'typical', then it could be just boredom. My eldest was shocking for this and staying in the house just made it worse. Definitely head out somewhere. I had to get out of the house twice a day for some kind of outing with all of mine. It very often wasn't anything exciting - walk round the block, trip to the park, go to the corner shop or supermarket - but we just needed that change of scene to cope with the day. It is hard when you have a baby to juggle as well but it's worth it.

spideysmumma · 19/01/2026 12:27

My 2yo is the same at the moment it is HARD

Endofyear · 19/01/2026 13:46

Yes it's normal, especially when you throw a new baby into the mix - it's a big adjustment for her and it's quite usual to have a bit of regression in behaviour. She could also be coming down with something and be feeling a bit under the weather. Wrap them both up warm and get outside to the park for a bit of running and jumping - the whingeing never sounds as bad when you're outside and at the very least it'll wear her out a bit!

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