To not see my Dad?

[outside1inside]

He's dying of cancer which has spread. He's having chemo which might give him 5 years.

My childhood was shit when he was around although he worked away a lot. When he was around he hit me, berated me, I had to wear winter pe kit in summer to hide the bruises.

We got on better when I was an adult. When I had my first child he turned up to meet her so drunk he doesn't remember it. I decided to cut him out of my life.

Fast forward to now he wants to see me before he dies. He remarried last year and didn't invite me to his wedding. He went on a family holiday over new year and didn't invite me. He did invite my siblings to both.

I phoned him on his birthday last year and he hung up as soon as he politely could. He hasn't tried to phone me but has told my siblings he's like to hear from me.

So my question, aibu to deny a dying man his request?

Ugh. Just because he’s dying doesn’t make him less of a shit dad. You say you don't want to see him, so don’t. In your shoes I wouldn’t. Go if you want to, not because you feel you should..

Just because he’s dying does not negate all of the awful things he’s done. His want to see you is to absolve his guilt not to improve things. If he didn’t know he was dying, would he still want to see you? My guess is not, given the past exclusion to you from his life.