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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off with housemate?

11 replies

JennyWren5 · 18/01/2026 14:18

I live in a house-share with three others, one of whom is the live-in landlord, and we all get on well. We have a burglar alarm, and set it before we go to bed and switch it off when we come downstairs in the morning.

One of the housemate recently came down in the morning but forgot how to switch off the burglar alarm, so it started blaring. I’d sent her a video on how to switch it on/off, when she first moved in last year, so she knew how to switch it on and off. The landlord eventually came down to sort it.

Before LL sorted it, the housemate called me several times and left me a few texts with my name e.g. ‘Jenny????’ I was asleep so didn’t reply, and only saw the missed calls and texts when I woke up.

Another time, she texted to ask if I was in the house. She then followed up 2 minutes later with ‘are you ever going to see this text?’ 2 minutes later(!!) I replied about 30 mins later. I always reply to her messages promptly, but also don’t want to feel pressured to reply!

The message with question marks and the ‘are you ever going to see this…’ message really pissed me off, for some reason. I think it’s because they sound quite entitled. I guess I think this because that housemate only tends to message or call me when she wants something.

In-person, she’s very direct but it’s fine and we get on well, and I want to protect that relationship. It’s just that I find her text communication entitled.

I think it’s got to me recently because I have a lot going on and a lot on my mind.

I know this is a small thing, but I’m starting to feel irrititated about it and it’s using up mental energy, so how can I stop this bothering me please?

OP posts:
YourPoliteLeader · 18/01/2026 14:20

Have a little chat with her. No drama, no shouting. Just a calm civilised chat. End.

JennyWren5 · 18/01/2026 14:21

YourPoliteLeader · 18/01/2026 14:20

Have a little chat with her. No drama, no shouting. Just a calm civilised chat. End.

Great, thank you. How can I approach it though? I think that’s the main thing I’m wondering.

OP posts:
YourPoliteLeader · 18/01/2026 14:24

Hey, just thought I’d let you know that I’m not someone who always checks their phone so there will be times when you message me, and I won’t respond swiftly. No need to chase and if it’s urgent… best to call me.

JennyWren5 · 18/01/2026 14:25

YourPoliteLeader · 18/01/2026 14:24

Hey, just thought I’d let you know that I’m not someone who always checks their phone so there will be times when you message me, and I won’t respond swiftly. No need to chase and if it’s urgent… best to call me.

Fab - thanks so much!

OP posts:
Sc00byDont · 18/01/2026 14:27

She is lazy. Don’t pander to it. Don’t talk to her about it. Just ignore her texts. She will eventually stop texting and speak to you instead like a normal human.

JennyWren5 · 18/01/2026 14:31

Thanks. In the latest text exchange - which I mentioned above, where she asked if I was in the house - I said I’d been out and asked if she needed anything. No reply. Lol.

OP posts:
Frampamsam · 18/01/2026 14:37

Probably just explain that you might not reply to messages instantly, and would prefer her to leave you to respond in your own time rather than chasing up.

JennyWren5 · 18/01/2026 18:06

Thanks very much, everyone.

OP posts:
SALaw · 18/01/2026 18:09

The alarm was blaring but you were still asleep?! Not that effective an alarm then!

JennyWren5 · 18/01/2026 18:11

SALaw · 18/01/2026 18:09

The alarm was blaring but you were still asleep?! Not that effective an alarm then!

Har har. When I say I was asleep, I mean I was in bed and I didn’t want to get out of bed because I didn’t need to, as really it’s housemate’s/landlord’s job to sort the alarm issue and not mine.

OP posts:
pouletvous · 18/01/2026 19:04

Why doesn’t she knock on your door?

i would leave her text messages unanswered all night

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