Working with a manager who bullied me

[Stuckstuckstuckfuck]

Posting for traffic.

10 years ago I was bullied out of my job by my manager, Rachel.

I started an ET against the company but before it went to court we settled. As part of that settlement I signed a non-disclosure agreement. Part of the NDA was that I didnt talk about the NDA.

I was lucky and quickly got a new job but it took me years to get my confidence back. Even now I have to control the panic if my manager asks "for a word". I like my new job. I get good feedback for my new job and I have progressed in my new job. I cut ties with everyone from my old job.

No one in my new job knows about the bullying, ET etc.

I thought Rachel was way back in my past.

We advertised jobs in my team who will work alongside me and another job to be my manager. Long story but I found out for certain that Rachel has interviews for both jobs. Both posts are way below the job she did when I worked with her so I'm not sure what has happened and I dont care. Knowing how she operates and her experience I'll be very surprised if she doesnt do very well in the interviews and not many people are interviewing.

What the fuck do I do now?! I cant work with her again. I can't. Even if she has "changed" I will be on eggshells around her and terrified. I can't tell anyone because of the NDA. I think if I told my manager about Rachel they would make sure she didnt get the job.

It's not as easy as me just getting another job because this one suits me so well and I like it and how dare she make me feel like I have to run away again.

Anyone who has been bullied, especially as an adult will know it's not just a case of standing up to her or working on my self confidence.

I'm going to speak to my union on Monday about whether there is some way of telling the interviewers about Rachel. There is a public record that I started an ET but no details. I might let slip to to the team gossip about it.

But if not, what can I do? I'm so worried and upset. And angry. I am so angry at her and angry at myself for allowing her to still have such power over me.

I would not be prepared to risk her being appointed and would ask for an off the record discussion with whoever I needed to.

You dont need to mention the company name or 'settlement' just what happened/her behaviour.

I would speak to the hiring manager to say that we worked together in the past, and that you abdolutely could not work together again. If pressed, I would mention that there is an NDA and I'm not meant to tell them even that much.

Can you check the NDA for details of hat you're allowed to disclose and not? I would also consider having an off the record discussion with someone you trust.

The NDA will have been signed with the company, rather than Rachel. She’s left the company and it would be up to them to take legal action against you in the unlikely event of them ever finding out that you had mentioned that she had been a bully. Why would they bother? Not only was it ten years ago, it was about someone who isn’t an employee anymore. A confidential chat without too many details would probably be safe, especially if you trust whomever you’d be speaking to.

NDAs don't last forever

Maybe talk to your union and then HR

Yes, I agree. I think consulting your union is a good move too. I've experienced similar to you and I'd be very distressed in your position.

Tell your manager. You don’t need to give them specific details, only that she bullied you out of your job and things escalated. You know they’ll have your back, it’s the obvious solution.

ETA I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can only imagine how shocked and distressed you must be over it 💐

This needs to be handled with great care. She hasn’t been found “guilty” of anything, you accepted a settlement and NDA, which I assume was done without any admission of liability.

Applicants can go to Tribunal, if the selection process has been unfair - and using unproven allegations to refuse someone an interview, or, use the allegations as part of the “interview scorning” would also be unlawful.

You can give HR a “heads up” within the constraints, but not sure what you expect them to do with it.

This is part of the risk you take when you take a “No liability” settlement.

Talk to your Union.

Does your company have a legal department? I'd start there rather than HR. Or try ACAS?

Give ACAS a call.
I can't imagine that if you have a screenshot of the public record, combined with stating you signed a non disclosure and that you could not work with her, that there will be blow back.