Am I expecting too much from my DP

[Allaboutthegirliguess]

I was diagnosed with cancer. Had surgery and am now at the stage of looking at reconstruction. Went with my DP to a show and tell.
First hour together. Men and women. Second half separated. At the separated stage all the men went but he left and waited outside in the car.

I feel really let down by this. He says he left because he felt he got the information he needed, knew what it would entail and was uncomfortable being with strangers in an emotional environment. I get that but he could have gained inside knowledge whilst sitting in the back quietly.

I have hardly stopped crying since. He has been an amazing support so far. But always in his comfort zones when he had a choice. Of course there have been times he hasn't had choices.

Part of me feels extremely unreasonable, but I cant control this feeling of hurt and let down. I hate feeling angry about it as he doesn't deserve that after all we have been through. But its not stopping me feeling like this.

Any advice on moving forward. Its hardly three biggest battle we have had to face through this journey but it has knocked for 6.

I had breast cancer, lumpectomy, chemotherapy, radiotherapy followed by 18 cycles of Herceptin. The thought of going to a group question and answer session sounds awful and for my husband a hundred times worse. I had all the information I needed from the doctors, breast care team and cancer care team. I’m not sure group information sessions benefit everyone.

Maybe he doesn't feel he needs to be in a support group with other men because he doesn't see this as an issue that will impact him personally. I'm not sure what the equivalent would be for men, but if my DHs body was going to change due to illness, my focus would be on supporting him. His body changing would not matter to me. I'd actively avoid a group of other women talking about how it will impact them as it would feel selfish and shallow. Your DP was there for the important part to support you.

Thanks everyone. The second part wasn't for the men to share their feelings but to listen to those who had been through it and ask questions if they wanted to.

I dont think i made this clear and I dont think it was clear to him either.

Was hard to see all the other partners go and not mine.

But overall I know I am being unreasonable.

We have chatted about it and not argued. He understands where Im coming from and I am understanding his reasons. I have used your advice to help me talk through this with him. So thank you all so much.

It was to let them knwo what itvwas gonna be like post surgery and for for them to know how to support us. Am sure there may have been some support too