Feeling so guilty about sending toddlers to nursery for a full day :(

[Handsfreeme]

I am very aware I am in a privileged position to have even had 2 years off with my twin toddlers. They will be 2 next month but I have been taking them for half day sessions at their nursery so they can settle and so that I can start work again.

They haven’t been settling, especially 1 twin who has been very upset there. They have 2 more half days before I have to start work and they will be going there 2 days a week 8-5:30pm
These are very long days for them and I am so stressed and guilt-ridden that I’ll be sending them there 9-10 hrs a day!
It will only be 2 days a week as that’s all I’ll be working but myself and DH have no village to help us pick them up earlier etc and our jobs mean we can’t WFH either.

Any reassurances or advice on helping them?

My daughter went from 7-6 every day (during term time) from 8 months old.
She absolutely loved it and it’s had no ill effects whatsoever.
There is no need to feel guilty for providing for your family.

They’ll settle better once they start the full days and get used to the routine. My DS has been going 4 days a week 8am to 5.30pm since he was 11 months old and he loves it. It’s great for development and the social side.

My daughter has spent 50 hours a week in nursery every week since she was 6 months old. She’s a 2 year old social butterfly now, very attached to other children and staff, absolutely loves nursery and is excelling.

Nursery isn’t the enemy, it just allows you to provide for your family!

They will be absolutely fine and probably settle better when they are there full days.

Mine have done 5 days a week since they were 3 months old.

There's nothing to feel guilty about, I promise.

Its just 2 days a week. I think its a perfect amount. You get to earn money that makes all your quality of life better and they get to see a women who is not just a mummy - she has her own shit going on and her own career.

I work in a nursery and the kids soon settle and have a great time doing loads of activities and making friends.

I hear you. I thought the long nursery days were too much for mine, so we got an au pair. She would dress the kids, feed them and take them to nursery around 9:30, and we had them on a shorter school day rate, so she would pick them up at 4ish. It was also great peace of mind to know if I was running late that she'd be at home to start the bedtime routine.

So, what I would say is:

How many sessions have they had so far? It could take them a few more. Give them time.

Children love routine and when you change it they will be discombobulated but it will become their new routine.

Day nursery is good for their development and their social skills.

It’s hard, I know. I remember at times having to prise his fingers off me when it was time to drop DS off but he is a very happy, well adjusted teenager now. It’s better it happens now than when they start school.

From two years old children start developing out of solo play to parallel play to associate play, so nursery will get much more engaging for them. They also have each other. I really wouldn’t fret about 2 days. My twins were in for 3 days a week from 10 months old 8-6pm and then 4 days a week from 2.5yrs 8-6pm. They are typical happy kids.

They’ll settle better once they actually start. I don’t feel any guilt for my toddler at nursery, shes safe and happy there, and we need my job financially, and I need it for my sanity! It’ll take some time to adjustment of course