to wonder if it’s normal for a toddler to whinge all day?

[HazelMember]

The next door neighbours moved in about a year ago and they have a toddler.
From morning until evening, the child seems to be either whining, crying or having little meltdowns.

I completely understand toddlers cry and have big feelings but this feels like it happens constantly. It’s not just the odd tantrum, it’s a near-constant background noise.

I’m not judging the parents and I know every child is different. I just genuinely wonder if this level of whining is typical toddler behaviour or if it’s on the more extreme end.

AIBU to think it seems like a lot?

Not "normal" for neighbours to notice like you describe.

Not normal. Poor baby.

This breaks my heart. Poor little kid. I hope the parents have the time and skill to provide comfort.

Potentially, yes. Some toddlers go through a phase (or two) where nothing suits and they whinge constantly. Your neighbour-toddler might have digestive issues or be super high-maintenance. I imagine DD1 was like this. I love her dearly but she was hard work sometimes (and still can be at 18).

It's easy to blame tech but do your neighbours WFH? They might have to make it to the end of a call or similar? Or they are too engrossed in their phones/screens until the whingeing reaches a certain pitch?

At the risk of exacerbating your observations, can you make some notes about when whingeing is loudest? Is there a pattern?

Do you/have you had chance to talk to them yet or get a feel. I'd say that's not normal for a toddler. It could be something going on e.g. a disability, illness, developmental delay that means their child is naturally more upset or struggles more. Equally it could be an issue with the parents (neglect, abuse, struggling to cope etc). Is there anything else you've noticed? Do they go out at all, does the toddler look clean, do the parents seem caring when they're not being specifically watched (e.g. if you see them out the window), have you ever heard loud shouting or other sounds of potential abuse? I'd be tempted to report it, even if you've not noticed anything else, it sounds harsh and if there is a good reason for such a sad baby then that's awkward but God I'd rather feel awkward than know a child has been suffering longer than they could be. Don't get me wrong toddlers whine and can be real pains but if they're fed, comfortable, warm and taken out to interesting things then they're normally mostly happy with the odd strop (e.g. when you give them the wrong coloured cup). It shouldn't be all the time. If SS do visit, they tend to be able to offer early intervention, so if it's parents struggling and needing support, they will get it. To be honest, it's mainly weird they're in all the time, I think (if everyone's well) most (very broad statement) parents with toddlers are regularly out because it's easier to parent when they're busy, and then most toddlers need a nap at somepoint or at least a 7pm ish bedtime. Assuming they're not taking the little one to the park, baby groups, nursery/pre school, playgrounds etc is also an odd sign (not necessarily of abuse but perhaps toddler has an issue or parents need support).

If both parents are wfh then the toddler needs to be in childcare, it's neglectful to keep a toddler in the house all day whilst both parents work/are engrossed in screens and ignoring their child. Toddlers can hurt themselves so quickly, they need switched on supervision and care. What you're describing is an issue if it is the case, its not a good reason for a toddler to cry all day. (As a side note, majority if not all employers will not allow you to wfh and do childcare as a regular thing because you simply cannot do both effectively).
I do get what you're saying, that some children are whiny and more challenging to parent though, maybe that is the case but maybe not.

If they wfh then the child needs to be in nursery. It’s strange that the parents aren’t taking the child out the house

I had a very difficult toddler, and it often felt like he would whinge/cry the whole day, when I couldn’t see much reason for it! I regularly went to bed at night completely deflated by how unhappy he seemed.

Hes 7 now, and still prone to being very moody and angry!

Some whining can be just in a child but prolonged whinging sould like unmet needs which is very sad.

It certainly feels like my toddler whines all day!! I don’t think he’s neglected though; today he’s been out to soft play, to see his granny, I cooked him his favourite dinner and played with him all afternoon. He still managed to whinge for what felt like most of the day.

I worked in nurseries for years and yes it's common. Some kids just moan and cry all day

Most toddlers don't whinge all day but some are very whingey.
Some never have a tantrum at all.

Aw I think it’s sad, I can only go by my personal experience but I wouldn’t think it’s normal for a child to be upset and/or crying all day. My toddler has had two meltdowns today (both of which lasted for around 30 seconds), one because we couldn’t get his cylinder blocks to balance as a tower on his football, and another because his six-month old baby sister couldn’t beatbox like their dad was doing 😳

Yes some children have a more spirited temperament/higher needs and small challenges cause meltdowns (I have one of each). My eldest child would tantrum thirty minutes at a time for each major transition of the day once younger sibling was born. On the other hand I can probably count on one hand the number of tantrums my other child has had. These temperament differences were quite evident from birth now looking back. Please don’t judge the parents it is so much harder to parent this type of child.