WWYD - visa, COL, work

[MrsMum26]

Posting in AIBU for traffic & wisdom because I'm slowly loosing my mind.

i live in my husband's country on a spouse visa which doesnt allow me to work. Moving back to the UK (which is the plan) isn't possible for the next couple of years because of the cost/our job situation.

i'm a sahm to our two children & thats worked well until the last couple of years when the COL means my husbands wage really isnt enough. I am desperate to start bringing in an income but cannot fathom a legal way to do that. Like I said, I cant work here on my current visa - and they check (routine police interviews). I'm resident here and not in the UK so getting an online UK-based job is not an option. Online freelance work/content creation etc would mean a) lying on visa applications here which im uncomfortable about (too big a risk - if i'm kicked out & we cant live in the UK - yet - what then!?) and b) wouldnt work because i have to declare income somewhere and cant do that in the UK or here so..

i guess i just want hive minds in case there's a solution around this mess that i'm failing to see? I hate my husband having to carry the financial burden for us and really need to find a way to contribute. Any ideas?

nb. Switching to a work permit visa here would be near enough impossible. Very few companies will take on the expense of employing a foreigner via legal channels (though are happy to employ illegally...obv. I can't do that)

Well as you say there is no way to legally work. Did you just think you'd never work forever and it would be fine when you decided to move there?

Would you be able to move back to your family in the UK and split your time? What's the longest you could stay in that country if your 'main residence' was in the UK? Then have a UK based job that allows WFA? Far from ideal though.

Can you get some advice on this, to see if there is any nuance at all to the rules along the lines that @Simple79 suggested? Would an unpaid internship be allowed as this may be a route into a work visa and paid employment.

If not and you can’t move back, is there any way to reduce your expenses? Can you downsize?

Where are you based? How strict is it, would you consider cash in hand, baby sitting/ conversation classes type stuff?

The other option is accept you cannot earn a wage, sit down with your husband and do a budget and see where you can cut costs. Depending on how transparent you both are with money, you could be imagining that money is tighter than it is. If you are right, and money is tight, and legally you cannot work, then it is either budget or hubby needs to get a better job/ pay rise.

If you’re not allowed to work , can he increase his income ?

You say you can’t afford to move back to the UK, but it sounds like you can’t afford to stay. And at least in the UK you’ll be able to do something about it by both working.

Where did you live previously?

If there is no legal way to you working in the country you live in, the only option is dh increase his hours/income or you cut everything you possibly can by budgeting

As a last resort, If your situation really is unsustainable, then maybe you need to consider moving back to UK to work and DH joining you when he has a job lined up? Would that be feasible for a short time?

Well yes, anyone can just step off a plane and have a house to move straight into without having an income after all. I mean, they can just leave the kids in the park while they both go to work or something.

I have no idea what the OP’s circumstances are. Maybe they have family in the UK, maybe they own a property here. Maybe they can rent. But I think she needs to recognise that continuing as they are isn’t the only option.

There aren't many options legally. A cash in hand job may get you deported which is a risk only you can decide on. If you have cash reserves you could invest, but thats risky again.
Can you cut costs dramatically?

What country is it? Is it employment that is banned? Could you set up your own business?

That’s dreadful, surely they’re finding it hard to recruit staff as trailing spouses are normal.

leave when he has secured a job in UK ?

What do other mums with children do who are not native to that country ?

Are there Mum & children groups to join ?

Volunteer ?

A hobby ?

Learn the language ?

Grow your own food

Clothes swap with friends

Exercise