Anyone else with PMDD??

[wintercherry]

As the title says, dos anyone else live with PMDD?

I was diagnosed around eight years ago, and although every month can feel different, the same pattern always applies. About two weeks before my period I get severe leg cramps, headaches, and breast pain so bad that I have to hold my chest just to walk up or down the stairs. It’s a burning, breath-taking pain.

For roughly half of every month I’m attached to a heat pad and living on paracetamol and ibuprofen. I also suffer with migraines, and this phase is always a trigger for them.

I think the real reason I’m writing this is the mental side of it. I’ve never had mental health issues, but during this time I disappear into a very lonely headspace. The best way I can describe it is that I’m on a trigger I don’t realise I’m on — one small frustration or comment and I completely shut down for about five days. I feel trapped in my own body, with no control over my emotions and no ability to just snap out of it, no matter how much I try.

I still function. I go to work (two jobs), look after my kids, show up for my husband, keep the house going. But emotionally I’m empty. There’s no connection, no feeling — just a hollow space in my chest, like the life has been drained out of me. I don’t want to socialise, noise from the kids feels overwhelming, and I don’t even have the energy for normal playful conversations.

I’m a professional in my role and I’m currently studying at master’s level. I’ve got an assignment due next week and another one waiting, but I can’t even open the document. That would mean engaging, and all I want is silence and to do nothing.

This mindset lasts until the day after my period starts, which means I could be emotionally absent from my own life for almost a week every month. It’s getting worse as I get older — I’m 37 now — and that scares me.

Please tell me I’m not alone in this. I’m sat at my desk with so much to do today, and all I can think is how much of a failure I am

You are absolutely not alone in this. What you’ve described — the physical pain, the migraines, and especially the emotional emptiness and disconnection — is something many people with PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) experience. It’s not weakness or failure; it’s the reality of living with a condition that can be overwhelming and unpredictable.
You’re not failing

• The fact that you continue to work, study at master’s level, care for your children, and support your husband while dealing with PMDD shows strength, not failure.
• PMDD makes even simple tasks feel monumental. Struggling during those days doesn’t mean you’re failing — it means you’re living with a condition that takes a real toll.

The mental side

• Many people with PMDD describe the same “hollow” or “disconnected” feeling you mentioned. It’s not uncommon to feel like your emotions are hijacked and you can’t “snap out of it.”
• That sudden shutdown you experience when triggered is part of the disorder’s impact on mood regulation. It’s not something you can just will away — and that’s important to acknowledge with compassion toward yourself.

Getting worse with age

• PMDD symptoms can intensify in the late 30s and 40s, especially as the body moves closer to perimenopause. You’re not imagining it — many report worsening symptoms over time.
• This doesn’t mean you’re powerless. There are management strategies and treatments that can help, though they often require persistence and collaboration with healthcare professionals.

Coping strategies others find helpful

• Track symptoms: Keeping a daily log can help you anticipate the difficult days and plan lighter workloads or extra support.
• Gentle routines: Prioritizing sleep, light exercise, and reducing caffeine/alcohol can sometimes ease symptoms.
• Professional support: Some find relief through hormonal treatments, SSRIs, or cognitive behavioral therapy. Even if you’ve tried things before, revisiting options with a specialist can be worthwhile.
• Community: Online forums and support groups can be a lifeline. Hearing “me too” often helps reduce the isolation.

You’re carrying a lot, and PMDD makes that load heavier. The fact that you’re reaching out shows strength — you’re seeking connection in a moment when the disorder makes you feel cut off. That’s powerful.