Hi, so I don't want this to come across as me being self centred as I understand this isn't really about me.
I've been with my partner for a little over a year and I just found out I'm pregnant, this wasn't planned but we are happy.
Today my partner got the results from some professional exams for work, they are notoriously difficult and he has worked really hard on them. Unfortunately he failed, this is the second time he has failed at this level and he did work extremely hard on them.
Anyway, he text me when he got the results saying he had failed, I was just going on my lunch break so tried to call, he didn't answer and text me back 30 min later saying he had been on the phone to lets call her Ella. Ella is his ex, they had a weird relationship, they were together about a year and a half but broke up twice in that time, once for almost 2 months. Eventually they decided to just be friends. They don't meet up loads, and if they do it is always in a wider group. I've met her, she is lovely but I can see why they weren't compatible.
Initially I was hurt he called her before me or even checking to see if I could call, she doesn't work in the industry, isn't his closest friend, so it felt odd he would turn to her while upset. He has done this a couple of times, but usually it has made sense like it was something she would be familiar with that I wouldn't.
I try to be relaxed about the friendship he has with her as I trust him, but she is absolutely stunning and she possesses a lot of qualities I don't, I also have a lot of qualities she doesn't but I guess I feel insecure about the ones I lack. They text often, send each other tiktoks/insta reels. One of the times I met up with his friends, we were all very drunk and the conversation turned to sex, my partner joked he was useless at taking off a girls bra, and she very quickly replied "Do you need to practice by taking off mine". He told me it was just banter, and I don't believe he would cheat but it made me a little uncomfortable.
Anyway, I then messaged him asking if he wanted to go out for dinner, take his mind off it etc. He didn't reply until the end of the work day when he said no he was going to meet up with friends for drinks, I was welcome to come but they'd all be drinking and obviously I can't. I opted not to go.
At about 11pm I messaged asking if he was home safe, he replied saying he was just walking home now (we don't live together yet). I tried to call again as I wanted to check on him and he messaged saying he would call when he got home. He didn't call until about 12:30am, I asked about his night etc. and he told me Ella was there (and everyone else, he didn't single her out) and then told me he had been on the phone to her while she got home.
I told him it hurt me that in his time of need he turned to other people, namely his ex. He said that he only called her at lunch as she had text right before his results came in asking how he got on so he text her straight away with the results. Then he called her as she had said if he needed to talk to anyone she was there. He then said he only went out with friends as he wanted to just sit in a pub and drink and not think about the exam and he only called her on her way home as she wasn't feeling too well and wanted company while she walked.
Now I just feel so insecure as while yes I do think he is physically loyal, it feels like emotional cheating, and it being his ex it stings more. He is also jokingly flirty with a lot of his female friends, but I can never really tell if it's truly a joke.
AIBU to be hurt and feeling insecure?