My husband is ex military and was retired out of the army after a dangerous activity doing a certain sport. He almost died and had to spend a long time in rehab. No brain damage but lots of breaks. He has scars. This was before we met.
When we met and married, he said he had "finished" all of that, remained in contact with the groups, attended events but didn't join in with the actual events.
He is super obsessed with it all and is glued to his phone when certain team results come in etc. He was very good at this sport back in the day and clearly and understandably harks back to being younger maybe. All in all, its great for him to be involved and i whole heartedly support his interests and hobbys.
He is really active and thrives on lots of hyper things going on. He is a great partner and I want him to be happy of course. However, we attended a get together recently (all nice people and all current military, super fit, doing runs accross deserts and back to back marathons. Seriously super human!
A few weeks later out the blue he let me know that there was space for him to attend next year and he has booked his slot🥺 i had no say in it.
At 72 i am really concerned. His adult kids have egged him on as think it's all quite funny. It's a two week event and he will participate most days so injury is likely. Im frightened. I know his kids think its a laugh but if he is injured, or worse, my heart will break. It's a really inaccessible place to get to, costs thousands to get there, i have a lot of responsibilities here and it would be incredibly difficult to drop everything to be there for him. He knows this.
I don't want to cause upset or anger by going on about it, especially as his children particularly arent very keen on me anyway😔 they are all puffed up about him going out to attemd.
i am terrified something is going to happen.
I am several years younger than him, still work full time, have kids and grandkids. I have huge responsibilities and being selfish and practical,him going off without a care with a concern of injury, or worse, has really shaken how i feel about the marriage.
I dont want him to be hurt but he is ignoring my concerns. I also dont want to end up being a party pooper and everyone saying im trying to upset things. What would anyone else do or think?
I did half jokingly say to him id always fancied my motorbike licence ( i have in fact!) Id love a big bike and to zoom about and join a social group. What stops me is my responsibilites, including being his wife, and the thought that if i was injured, that someone else would have to step in and bring in mortgage money and run the house / support the kids. I couldnt lumber everyone with that but feel he is happy to put himself in danger participating in this sport.
I am probably being unreasonable but in your 70's you dont bounce back like you do in your 30's.
I appreciate the keith richards, & Mic Jaggers of the world. Thanks for listening to me.
I know i have to chill out and accept its happening but its made me feel quite unnerved and anxious.