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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this is bullying and unfair dismissal

60 replies

okurmyeahalright · 15/01/2026 13:57

Hi all,

I started a new job in early December, in an industry I have 11 years experience in at senior levels, but in a different sector.
the first month has been great, as expected to be a new start in a company. Note the company is very small, 8 people in total and all other staff members are immediate family.
the person training me went off on annual leave a couple of weeks ago and everything from then on has just come tumbling down and I'm left feeling so angry at how I've been treated. I am a respectful and educated 30 year old woman and single mum, without a single blemish on my career history to date.

i started being ignored. I'd walk in, in the morning and just say 'morning' and nobody would acknowledge me. Then (as I'm still in training) came eye rolls and grunts. I ask questions and make sure I'm doing the right thing and I get grunted at or told 'do what you want to do.' I've had no support whatsoever. They handed me a training manual in a binder folder and that was that.

there was a specific task I had been allocated and there were 2 separate ways of doing it. I checked with management that I could do it either way and they confirmed. I completed the task successfully and got shouted at across the office saying I'm wrong. I have been told to 'shut up' when everyone else was talking about their personal lives, the person opposite me asked what I'm having for dinner. Was told to shut up.
I've been mocked at and spoken to badly about things I haven't yet been taught about. When I try to tell them I haven't been taught I got shut down. This diminished my confidence completely and I started to doubt my work. Which resulted in more questions and more eye rolls.

it's largely a phone based role, there are no scripts and I've been left to my own devises. My calls have been listened to for the first month as I'm in training, all good. I was told I wasn't answering the phone correctly 2 days ago (after being on the phones since early December) and instead of saying '(company name XX speaking how can I help' I was told I need to say 'hello / good morning' beforehand. All fine! It would've helped if I got told this earlier on when I was getting live listened to but anyway all fine. So my next calls I say 'hello (company name) XX speaking how can I help' I get yelled at again and get told I have to say good morning. That by me saying hello is giving the clients an attitude they didn't ask for.

I start writing references down where other staff just say 'hello Jane speaking' as at this point I thought I was being singled out to keep a record. No one else is held up to this standard. Everyone has the same role, there is no 'hierarchy' so to speak, we all do the same job.

I have been shouted at and yelled at. This morning was the worst of all, being called names under their breath, speaking about me to each other. They are all family and it's a tiny company, no HR or anything like that. I was told to go outside for a word and at this point I put my Apple Watch on record. I was shouted at, I asked if I could speak I was told no, I asked if I could explain myself I was told no, to get out and never come back. I walk back in the office shaking on the brink of tears and get my things. One of the slightly nicer employees reminds me to pick up my medication and not forget it. She gets told to sush. It gets announced in front of the whole office 'XX IS LEAVING AND NEVER COMING BACK' no privacy or decency whatsoever. I feel so humiliated.

I have never ever experienced anything like this. I am hard working and at no point were any concerns raised to me, at all. A couple of 'FYI we do it this way' type things but that was it.

I have been made to feel so fucking small. I'm a single mum, Ive spent the last 5 years working through chemotherapy to stay afloat and thought now I'm better to go for a new career and a new challenge.

I have only been there for a couple of months, do I legally have any leg to stand on? They would also openly discuss and make comments about my medical conditions between each other. They sold me the dream in the interview. It is the most bizarre company I've ever come across.

I have the recording on my Apple Watch and I've listened to it back and I'm so angry at how they've treated me. I genuinely don't know what's gone wrong. They said they will pay me for my hours worked.

is there anything I need to be doing now, or could be doing legally?

thanks all if you've read this far.

fucking devastated and barely surviving at the moment as it is. It's brought back so many emotions and memories of me being bullied during my school years.

just feel like a fucking failure.

OP posts:
JontyGentooey · 15/01/2026 15:04

Fuck me they sound utterly horrific! There is no excuse for shouting at someone in a work environment, unless you were somehow putting yourself or a colleague in danger. This alongside the contradictory instructions on how to do things implies they were deliberately trying to confuse and belittle you.

They won't need to pay your notice if you haven't worked it but they have to pay for your all your hours worked plus any accrued holiday.

Make sure they settle up in full and provide a P45 AND a copy of your employment contract - legally they cannot withhold these documents. Then tear them to fucking shreds on Google reviews and Glassdoor.

Sorry to hear about your cancer you sound like a very decent employee who's wandered into a nasty snakepit.

katmarie · 15/01/2026 15:11

okurmyeahalright · 15/01/2026 14:58

I have an incurable cancer, which in turn had damaged my lungs (the chemo did) and have 2 heart conditions as a result, if that means anything?

thanks for helping :)

Did they know this? And when did they find out if they did? That information absolutely could swing this from being a basic under 2 years dismissal to an automatic unfair dismissal. But it depends a lot on the circumstances.

I would suggest you check your home insurance and see if it includes legal cover for employment issues, many policies do. If it does, give them a call and get some advice.

MrsPinkCock · 15/01/2026 15:18

You will be automatically disabled by virtue of your cancer diagnosis, but there’s nothing to suggest that the dismissal was in any way linked to you having previously had cancer, and having a protested characteristic doesn’t mean you can automatically bring a claim!

You’re entitled to pay in lieu of notice and any accrued holiday but other than that, bullying sadly isn’t legally actionable (unless it’s legal harassment related to a protected characteristic) so it probably isn’t worth giving any further head space to. Some employers really are just shit, but it doesn’t mean you can sue them for it.

Merryoldgoat · 15/01/2026 15:22

What are their finances like @okurmyeahalright

I’ve seen companies do this when they need people to go because they can’t afford it.

I’m really sorry you’re going through this nonsense - it sounds terrible.

Abitofalark · 15/01/2026 15:24

Clychaugog · 15/01/2026 14:10

This sounds truly awful. The stuff of nightmares!

Not sure what claim for unfair dismissal you could make. Due to the short length of service you could only really claim unfair if it was linked to a protected characteristic.

Re bullying, it also needs to be prolonged and sustained. You were in and out so quick I'm not sure there would be a case.

You do not have to have a qualifying period to claim automatically unfair dismissal (which is dismissal for a number of specific reasons set out in legislation) or dismissal for a reason which is unlawful discrimination (the protected characteristics you mentioned).

okurmyeahalright · 15/01/2026 15:28

katmarie · 15/01/2026 15:11

Did they know this? And when did they find out if they did? That information absolutely could swing this from being a basic under 2 years dismissal to an automatic unfair dismissal. But it depends a lot on the circumstances.

I would suggest you check your home insurance and see if it includes legal cover for employment issues, many policies do. If it does, give them a call and get some advice.

When I received the email job offer I emailed them back, I have to have an MRI once a year and a consultation so wanted to be clear and up front that I'll need these appointments, so they know, I have their response to it to confirming

OP posts:
okurmyeahalright · 15/01/2026 15:30

Merryoldgoat · 15/01/2026 15:22

What are their finances like @okurmyeahalright

I’ve seen companies do this when they need people to go because they can’t afford it.

I’m really sorry you’re going through this nonsense - it sounds terrible.

I'm not sure, I think they're okay. Company has been running since early 90s and it's completely family led. That's why as much as I did soak up for myself I was never going to get anywhere when it's 2 parents and their 3 kids and spouses working there, felt like such an outsider!

OP posts:
Alwaysoneoddsock · 15/01/2026 15:33

MacMillan have a very good employment advice line. They have me some wording to say when I was having an issue with my employer. I don’t think they can handle a case for you but in my case having the legal phrasing made my employer see sense. Not that you want to go back there. I think you’ve had a lucky escape !

Astra53 · 15/01/2026 15:34

Your notice period should be in your offer letter or contract of employment that you signed when you accepted the role. They need to pay you for this 'in lieu of notice'. They also need to pay you for any accrued but unused holiday days.

ruethewhirl · 15/01/2026 15:35

OP, I haven't much advice to offer but just wanted to offer a hug. It's absolutely disgusting the way you've been treated. What awful people. 💐

TwattingDog · 15/01/2026 15:42

Abitofalark · 15/01/2026 15:24

You do not have to have a qualifying period to claim automatically unfair dismissal (which is dismissal for a number of specific reasons set out in legislation) or dismissal for a reason which is unlawful discrimination (the protected characteristics you mentioned).

This is nonsense. AI once again being incapable of getting the facts straight.

poptart75 · 15/01/2026 15:44

So sorry you went through this. I did too when I worked for a family company. I left in the end as it was so unbearable.

okurmyeahalright · 15/01/2026 16:05

poptart75 · 15/01/2026 15:44

So sorry you went through this. I did too when I worked for a family company. I left in the end as it was so unbearable.

To be honest I was warned against it by a couple of people as family only companies are hard to 'break into'

that advice served me right!

OP posts:
okurmyeahalright · 15/01/2026 17:50

I wish I could post the recording of how they spoke to me but I don't think you can post videos on MN can you? You can't see anything and there's no outing information on it. Would just be good to hear people's thoughts!

OP posts:
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 15/01/2026 17:54

Can’t you go to the police as it was verbal abuse?

InNeedofAdvice12345 · 15/01/2026 18:09

I am really sorry you had to go through this experience.

Please check you house insurance if you have legal cover.

If you don't, I suggest you just move on.

I am taking my former employer for unfair dismissal and disability discrimination as a litigant in person. It's very tough doing it on your own.

I know someone who thought they had a good case and ended up with 10K after 2.5 years of endless trouble. Simply because they did not understand the law.

Many unions have good guides on disability.

I hope you find another job soon. And please consider joining a union. I wish I was a member when it all started for me.

I hope it helps

okurmyeahalright · 15/01/2026 18:22

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 15/01/2026 17:54

Can’t you go to the police as it was verbal abuse?

I don't think calling me a 'problem' and telling me to shut up is a crime ☹️

I can't believe how they spoke to me. I don't know if it's worth (once I've been paid) putting the recording on local pages warning people against it. There's nothing confidential in it at all. Just 5 minutes of abuse and shouting it was horrible. She wouldn't even let me speak.

OP posts:
Obscurity · 15/01/2026 18:33

okurmyeahalright · 15/01/2026 14:10

I was sacked today and told to leave which I did. I'm going to start applying like mad today as I'm unemployed and have to keep a roof over my daughters head 😔 I do have some savings thankfully so I'm not in dire straits.

another thing to query, listening back to the recording she said she would pay me '4 weeks up to today' I don't know if this means I'm being paid for the last 4 weeks work I've done, or she's paying me for 4 weeks from today.

I last god paid on 30th December so the last 4 weeks wouldn't make sense!

Yes, they’re giving you a month’s pay even though you’ve finished mid-month.

InNeedofAdvice12345 · 15/01/2026 18:36

okurmyeahalright · 15/01/2026 18:22

I don't think calling me a 'problem' and telling me to shut up is a crime ☹️

I can't believe how they spoke to me. I don't know if it's worth (once I've been paid) putting the recording on local pages warning people against it. There's nothing confidential in it at all. Just 5 minutes of abuse and shouting it was horrible. She wouldn't even let me speak.

I think posting it on local news or social media would be more trouble than it is worth.

Yes, you might get some satisfaction. However, it could backfire when trying to get new employment.

It has been a horrible experience. It shall pass. I suggest you put it down to experience and move on.

GlasgowGal2014 · 16/01/2026 12:04

Don't post the recording online OP. I get that it would be satisfying to get revenge in that way, but it could harm your chances of finding a new role. You might have a claim for disability discrimination but pursuing it could suck up a lot of time and energy that would be better channeled into finding a new job. Good luck, you deserve it because you've been very unlucky this time.

Pinkpanda8 · 16/01/2026 12:49

okurmyeahalright · 15/01/2026 14:10

Even if there are recordings proving I was bullied?

that sucks :( but that's good to know for expectations, thank you

The thing about recording is you can get in trouble for surreptitiously recording people when you play that recording to a third party.

In order to have a solid case you’re treatment would need to be linked to a protected characteristic or they would need to be in breach of contract such as not paying the bounce notice period in your contract.

FuzzyGalgo · 16/01/2026 13:36

Well they sound absolutely awful. It really wasn't you who was the problem here. Others have advised about whether it's possible to do anything about this, in a fair world it would be great to see them get their comeuppance!

I once took a job in an organisation where it was immediately obvious that my face didn't fit. I lasted three months being gossiped about, colleagues deliberately withholding vital information from me and then giving me a verbal kicking when I inevitably didn't do things in exactly the right way. Then they sacked me (well, said that I'd failed my probation). The experience really knocked my confidence and even though I knew I was better off out of there, it stung.

Best of luck finding another job (hopefully much better than the one you've just left!)

okurmyeahalright · 17/01/2026 08:27

A bit of an update. I've submitted a formal complaint. Unfortunately there are no direct emails so I can only send it to the general one which everyone sees. But everyone witnessed what happened anyway.

I've been blocked / ignored on WhatsApp when I've asked for my contract, P45 and pay slip. I was very polite and just asked if those things could be forwarded to me and if they can confirm up to what date I'll be paid along with any holiday accrued so I can plan for the month financially so I had no option. I spoke to ACAS and they advised me to do this.

they did say I don't have may rights but due to some other details I missed out on here (put in writing concerns about breach of policies and I got shut down, I also raised that other people were doing things like not doing DPA on each call) it could potentially be whistleblowing.

im not bothered by it, I'm not trying to get anything out of it. I just wanted to get wha I'm owed and the documents I'm legally owed. Which they've also made difficult.

I've got 2 interviews lined up next week both for senior roles in the same industry so hopefully they will go well!

the one thing I'm worried about is that a new company may see I've worked here for a few weeks. I will miss this out on my CV, but will they need my most recent P45, or can I use the one from my previous company? The one from previous company is still from this tax year so I'm hoping that'll be okay.

thanks everyone and have nice weekends!

OP posts:
IsThisTheWaytoSlamMyPillow · 17/01/2026 09:12

This is awful and I’m sorry you had to endure it.

Assuming your chemo was for cancer? If so this is a protected characteristic (for the purposes of UK employment law, any previous or current cancer is classed as a disability and therefore a protected characteristic.)

Contact ACAS as soon as you can, and let them know you have had cancer so they can advise accordingly.

Soontobe60 · 17/01/2026 09:28

IsThisTheWaytoSlamMyPillow · 17/01/2026 09:12

This is awful and I’m sorry you had to endure it.

Assuming your chemo was for cancer? If so this is a protected characteristic (for the purposes of UK employment law, any previous or current cancer is classed as a disability and therefore a protected characteristic.)

Contact ACAS as soon as you can, and let them know you have had cancer so they can advise accordingly.

Having a protected characteristic doesn’t mean you can’t be dismissed. It does mean you can’t be dismissed solely because you have that characteristic - you can’t dismiss someone who is, say, Muslim just because they’re Muslim. But if that employee is deemed to have been unable to do the job competently, or does something that can be classed as misconduct, they can be dismissed.

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