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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I unreasonable to contact my managers manager?

21 replies

Weeeeyy · 15/01/2026 13:10

So i work in a profession where most people are self employed. However this is a grey area and most “contracts” are employed contracts with an added bit about paying your own tax and not being entitled to any employee benefits like pension etc.

Anyway I started a new job which is a big company which is part of a health chain. So they have various health people working in a part of the building as well as a gym etc. When I met my manager she explained the hierarchy of staff and I was given general contact details for all but was told she was my manager and who I would contract with issues etc. All good no issues there.

So in order to access the area I work in you need a pass. I was told I would not be getting a pass as I wasn’t “staff” but it’s fine because either reception would let me in or another staff member from the various other sections would let me in.

All was generally fine for the first few months. But there seemed to be very few staff around to let me in at times which was stressful. Then I turned up for work one day and there was absolutely no one in the building who had access to the health area. Reception hadn’t arrived and the health area was in total darkness so no one inside. I waited until 5 minutes before my client was due and I rang my manager. No answer. I left her a voicemail and sent a text. Still nothing. I went to other parts of the building to see if anyone could help but was told it’s an independent area so nothing to do with them. I had to send my first client away. So after half an hour my next client arrived so I tried to contact my managers manager and left a voicemail. He didn’t respond either. I sent my second client away.

An hour after I was due to start a receptionist arrived and I could actually get in and do some work. During the morning my manager rang me back and left a voicemail and was LIVID. She said I was out of line contacting her manager and unless it was an absolute emergency I was never to contact them again. She was reiterating that SHE was my manager and I was only to speak to her and her manager was now angry with her that I contacted him. I rang her back at lunch and explained that I had tried to contact her but with no success and seeing as I had no access to my area of work I considered that an emergency as I had no one else to ask. She got even more angry and told me that she does the school run at that time and this is allowed so I need to be aware in future not to call her until past 10am as she will not answer. I asked her what I should do if this happen again. That I need a back up plan should no one be available to let me in. Or I need an access pass (my preference). She said it would be “rare” no one was there to let me in so I wouldn’t be getting a pass as they are for employees only. She then said I just needed to be “more resourceful” at dealing with these issues when she was unavailable. I asked her how could I be resourceful in getting access to a locked building!

The next day she emailed me to say they would be deducting an hour from my pay for the 2 clients I had to turn away and also giving me a verbal warning for not following procedures. I’ve now quit. (Which also was ridiculous as she misread my contract and was insisting I needed to give much more notice than I did). I told her to get a solicitor to read and explain the contract to her. She eventually backed down and I have my final date of work.

Sorry that was long. I always struggle to condense things.

OP posts:
Hoardasurass · 15/01/2026 13:14

Your better off out of there and push back on your docted wages as she prevented you from working

Passaggressfedup · 15/01/2026 13:22

She was reiterating that SHE was my manager and I was only to speak to her and her manager was now angry with her that I contacted him
I heard that one before! It translates as ' I got a bollocking from my boss because I didn't deal with a situation I should have managed and the employee should therefore never have to escalate the matter'.

She is passed off because SHE didn't manage the situation as ahe should have. Talk about passing the buckaround. I would bet her boss doesn't know she isn't in the office or contactable before 10am!

Passaggressfedup · 15/01/2026 13:23

Deleted as duplicate

Macaroni46 · 15/01/2026 13:25

Not much of a manager if she can’t be contacted until 10am! How long does the school run take anyway!
You were right to leave!

Danikm151 · 15/01/2026 13:26

Write an email to her manager and explain the situation and ask them what you should do. No doubt she’s hiding that she does the school run.

LadyBlakeneysHanky · 15/01/2026 13:30

God no you did the right thing, it sounds chaotic and exploitative. Send an email to her manager describing the position & complaining about the unlawful deduction from your pay.

I wondered reading this- does regularly having workers in the building with no access pass have potential safety implications? What would happen for instance if there was a fire in one part of the building and you needed to access another but had no pass?

BillieWiper · 15/01/2026 13:32

I would've said calmly that

'I believed the fact reception was shut, my work area was locked with no staff inside, and therefore I had to turn away two clients (and possibly who knows how many more) constituted a business emergency.

It left me in an incredibly awkward position which made both me and the company look unprofessional. And now I've potentially lost two clients.'

IchiNiSanShiGo · 15/01/2026 13:46

Wow, you are absolutely better off out of that shitshow!

You did everything right, your manager is incompetent.

toomuchfaff · 15/01/2026 13:47

YANBU

Her doing the school run (allowed or not) means she is unavailable - so for that period of time she must provide you alternate contact, and the only alternate you had was her supervisor.

She is absolutely in the wrong, but toxic breeds toxic.

Pineappleice43 · 15/01/2026 13:49

Oh I've had this before, how shit.

Glad you've quit and got out of that toxic environment. I'd actually her manager knows why you've quit!

ColdAsAWitches · 15/01/2026 14:04

Now that you've quit anyway, take the nuclear option. Tell him exactly what you've said here, highlight her daily absence from the school run and tell him you'll be taking solicitor's advice about the illegal pay deduction and contacting the local fire brigades inspection team about the potential issues with their access schemes.

ShawnaMacallister · 15/01/2026 14:06

I bet her manager bollocked her for doing the school run during work time. What a dick.

SerendipityJane · 15/01/2026 14:22

So i work in a profession where most people are self employed. However this is a grey area and most “contracts” are employed contracts with an added bit about paying your own tax and not being entitled to any employee benefits like pension etc.

This sounds sub optimal. Presumably there is something concrete that would dispel the suspicious that it's disguised employment where an unscrupulous outfit avoids paying NI by pretending no one is an "employee" ?

If there is a "grey area" then HMRC will treat it to their advantage.

TorroFerney · 15/01/2026 14:23

Oh the manager who gets in trouble and instead of acting as a shield is that emotionally immature and incompetent that they have to pass the bollocking on. She’s a bit daft telling you she’s potentially skiving.

jetlag92 · 15/01/2026 14:25

Sounds like you should have been employed anyway. I would be going down the route of "finding out" that the T's and C's of your contact would deem you employed and asking for holiday pay etc.

HardworkSendHelp · 15/01/2026 14:40

I would be contacting her manager again and telling him the whole story. The woman is batshit crazy.

Weeeeyy · 15/01/2026 14:50

SerendipityJane · 15/01/2026 14:22

So i work in a profession where most people are self employed. However this is a grey area and most “contracts” are employed contracts with an added bit about paying your own tax and not being entitled to any employee benefits like pension etc.

This sounds sub optimal. Presumably there is something concrete that would dispel the suspicious that it's disguised employment where an unscrupulous outfit avoids paying NI by pretending no one is an "employee" ?

If there is a "grey area" then HMRC will treat it to their advantage.

Oh absolutely. I’ve worked this way for 20 years and I’ve always been treated like an employee who pays their own tax. I’ve even had contracts state my annual leave “allowance”. I once turned down a job because the contract had a clause that said “if HMRC investigate and deem you employed you are responsible for any backdated tax and fees the job owes”. Strangely enough I turned that job down.

OP posts:
HoskinsChoice · 15/01/2026 18:32

SerendipityJane · 15/01/2026 14:22

So i work in a profession where most people are self employed. However this is a grey area and most “contracts” are employed contracts with an added bit about paying your own tax and not being entitled to any employee benefits like pension etc.

This sounds sub optimal. Presumably there is something concrete that would dispel the suspicious that it's disguised employment where an unscrupulous outfit avoids paying NI by pretending no one is an "employee" ?

If there is a "grey area" then HMRC will treat it to their advantage.

I agree. Without seeing a contract, its hard to tell but that sounds illegal on face value.

HoskinsChoice · 15/01/2026 18:33

Weeeeyy · 15/01/2026 14:50

Oh absolutely. I’ve worked this way for 20 years and I’ve always been treated like an employee who pays their own tax. I’ve even had contracts state my annual leave “allowance”. I once turned down a job because the contract had a clause that said “if HMRC investigate and deem you employed you are responsible for any backdated tax and fees the job owes”. Strangely enough I turned that job down.

You need to be very careful as, if it is illegal, you are just as culpable as they are.

Vaxtable · 15/01/2026 18:39

Personally now you have resigned I would send a formal letter to her manager detailing just what you said in your post and that a discussion should be had on how this would not happen if passes where given out

I would also make it clear that I do not expect any deduction of money because I have to send two expel away because my manager was unavailable until 10am because she had to do a school run, and there was no one to let me in, something that could have been resolved at the start by issuing a pass

Weeeeyy · 15/01/2026 19:07

HoskinsChoice · 15/01/2026 18:33

You need to be very careful as, if it is illegal, you are just as culpable as they are.

Oh absolutely I know. This is why I either insist they remove clauses like that from contracts or I turn jobs down.

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