Do people really not know what to eat?

[WilderHawthorn]

Watching ‘what not to eat’, and the family they’ve found are just hopeless. Four small children all shovelled full of UPF junk, parents both obese, freely admit to eating crap constantly.

How adults choose to feed themselves is their choice, but to feed four small kids that much junk? It’s bordering on abuse. An apple/banana costs the same as a packet of crisps, jacket potato is one of the cheapest meals you can make, basic porridge oats and milk for breakfast, it’s not difficult to eat whole foods, so why rely on packaged things?

Freely admit I judge those who feed their children this way and truly despair over childhood obesity stats. I work full time, have 4 DC, DH works full time and I volunteer. I’m very time poor and partially disabled, I still feed my kids well and it doesn’t cost me a fortune. Taught myself to cook. There’s no excuse!

I have to push my kids to eat the healthy food I provide them, even when they know they like the food.

They strongly prefer a shop bought carbonara sauce to my gorgeous home-made one, for example. Since they know the shop-bought version exists it is a battle to get them to eat mine (loads of moaning, refusal to eat. The problem is that UPF versions of food are literally designed to be as nice as possible - from the nice smooth texture or crunch in your mouth, to the sound the packet makes when it opens, to the list of ingredients that are mouth-wateringly tasty.

It is a path of least resistance in many cases, I’m sure.

In the alternate view.
The family is exposing themselves to learn about how to improve themselves and others are learning through watching the programme.

I think your privilege is showing. Please do better and show compassion instead.

I (42, single mum, middle class, privately educating my two children, £500 a month food budget) grew up the only child of an anorexic mother and obese father. I have a degree, I've read countless nutrition books yet to this day, I still struggle with preparing meals from scratch. I work really hard at it but it does not come naturally and when things are mentally tough, I find it impossible.

Some people are brilliant at maths, other people are skilled elsewhere. My mental arithmetic skills are off the charts and I can design a database without thinking but food just does not click. We have gousto five nights a week and I'm so grateful that school dinners are mandatory.

Also, having worked with families in some of the highest poverty and teenage pregnancy rates in Europe, there are a lot of people who do not have access to education and the ability to apply basic skills. There are genuinely people in this country who have no idea that you can't put coca cola in a baby's bottle because that knowledge has never been shared with them. At least that family are trying to do better which in my opinion, makes them better people than you.

Finally, read Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America by Barbara Ehrenreich. It applies here too.

😂

Why do you watch that crap?
There's must be something better on with all the channels there are today.
Yabu to watch then moan. Waste of time.

I'm with you on this, cooking just isn't one of my skills. I know the theory, I can follow a recipe but for some reason it just never seems to go right, I get extremely stressed and honestly most of the time it's just not worth it. I think people who find cooking easy just don't understand how hard it is for some people. The things I'm good at aren't really all that practical but I don't look down on people who can't play music by ear for example.

The fact that you have gousto though suggests, and tell me if this is not right obviously, that there is an idea for you that special or fancy meals are what you think you need to be providing

Would you feel like a meal is substandard if its something on toast or a soup made from scraps or leftovers served with cheese on toast? These are good meals

I think the 'cook from scratch' narrative frightens people that their meals have to be all high falluting. Nothing wrong with a piece of chicken, some veg, mash and gravy or chutney or whatever.

As for the issue about lack of education, pre birth classes and information and HV information absolutely would not leave anyone in any doubt that you dont put coke in a baby's bottle. Im not sure I buy the lack of education thing in terms of the basics.

My son has been living with his girlfriend for over ten years, and their diet is appalling. I've tried by giving them frozen left overs I've cooked from very simple recipes, bought them a soup maker, cook books etc. They go to Gregg's regularly, fast food outlets, buy take aways. My son has put on stones in weight and has been told he has a 'fatty' liver, I am very concerned.

Inreresting views. I have my own childhood issues with food.

Regarding money. If we are all totally honest with ourselves it is easier to eat healthy when you have a well sticked, decent sized fridge and freezer, a well stocked cupboard abd enough money to buy an appealling variety of fruit and veg.

Take it from soneone who knows, it feels phycologically very different fo feed your family porridge or lentils when you are worrying where your hext meal will come from, compared with knowing you can splurge on mangos, berries etc the following day.

Where can I watch the programme mentioned in the op?
i have googled… it says Netflix or channel 5 but can’t see it on either

It's on channel 4, I'm watching it now on the app

This thread reminded me about my chicken bones so Im cooking them down for stock. The smell in the house is phenomenal. The cat is very interested. Walking around with her nose in the air.

thank you. Like you i was ok (well, okish) when they were little, i've always had spinal problems, its only in the last 3 years i've needed mobility aids and a perch to park on while cooking if i have the energy for the prep... but i'm still responsible for feeding my DS19 as he wont/can't cook for himself at all. DD can at least put a microwave meal on, or bread in the toaster for herself!

My dd is similar, she spent the last year of uni living on Greg’s and pizza, she knows what’s good and what’s bad but just doesn’t care. It worries me a lot and I try hard to get her make better choices but now she’s an adult it’s kind of out of my control.

So what's your point? It doesn't matter because it's only the poor people?

Of course people know what to eat. It’s the addictive nature of UPF that’s the problem. It’s engineered to make you crave more
and more. It takes a great deal of effort to change someone’s diet, especially a child.

I rarely eat UPF, but on the odd occasion I do, the effect is immediate. I just want to keep
eating it. I continue to crave it for days afterwards. Eating junk isn’t just laziness (although that plays a part). It’s an addiction.

I hear you on the disability front. That is why I batch cook, and freeze portions of food, so that when I am not feeling too good, due to my disability, I can still eat well. It is important to me, I know that I am going to have times, when I cannot stand to cook food, so I plan ahead for those times. Eating poor food, low in nutrients, is certainly not going to help me.

What was his diet like at home and did he learn to cook?

Hope you don't mind me asking.

I can understand why you think that but actually it's vegetables and cooking things in the right order and on time. I'm also really bad at food waste. I just find the whole process mentally exhausting. When people talk about the holidays they would go on with a lottery win, I'd rather have someone do the food for a year. Also I don't find gousto meals particularly fancy. We have a lot of chicken and potatoes!

My repoitoire is shepherd's pie, baked salmon with broccoli and carrots, eggs in purgatory (thanks nigella), french vegetable soup and prawns with salad. I can't even roast a whole chicken (I have literally NEVER done it - i just buy the ones in a bag.) and I have only learned how to successfully make gravy that's not instant on Christmas day.

It is a set of skills that I don't have. My brain just goes to mush and due to my mum's control issues, I left home only having cooked in school.

Finally on the education bit. Having had the privilege of knowing what coca cola.a does to teeth, it never occurred to me to mention it to someone who is pregnant as a reminder. That's how it gets missed. Plus being unable to read.

By your thinking a poached egg is Ultra Processed. 🫤 Peeling a carrot and cooking it doesn’t make it UPF 😖

This is not the case sadly. My DS only had six weeks of food tech in Y8. That’s it.

I work in a grammar school myself, and we have food tech in the curriculum from Y7 to Y9. With proper weekly practicals. After Y9 it’s a CGSE subject only.

right?! fucking HELL. Mumsnet is wild

Don't know the show but UPFs are known to be addictive, the more you eat the more you want and struggle with the taste of normal food.
Then you stop buying food your family don't enjoy or won't eat and you feel crap about it and your energy is fecked and you probably look for comfort in food and it's rinse and repeat.

There is so much junk food and upfs everywhere I feel sorry for people who are addicted rather than look down on them.

Just watch or read Dr. Chris van Tulleken's stuff on it - scary. :-(

The thing is that that you only know what you know. If you don't know that porridge microwaves in a couple of minutes then it doesn't look like it's a quick easy option - it could easily be as faffy as risotto. We weren't really a porridgey household growing up so as a young adult I thought those sachets were the only way to make quick porridge, before I discovered you could do the same thing with just the oats.
If you haven't got the time, energy or capacity to find out the holy grail of cheap, easy, healthy and tasty foods then it's easier to stick with something reliable from a packet.
We do have an obesity problem but it's not going to be solved by labelling parents as hopeless any more than it's solved by calling fat people lazy. It needs a holistic solution. Food standards so less addictive UPFs are so easily available, more mass better food and physical education, less judgement of obese people, more time for people to cook. It all needs addressing but just telling people they should know better and they should just be less fat clearly doesn't work.

I agree 100%.

If you don’t know that UPF’s are addictive, you have no reason to do anything about your consumption of them. Although if you’re overweight and trying to lose, you would naturally try to cut down on a lot of the problematic foods.

But even when you do know, it’s very difficult to eliminate them, because…. They’re addictive. And considered normal.