School staff bullying children-in year transfer in Year 6

[Schoolbullies]

NC and risking a kicking on this topic but posting for traffic.
My child has additional needs, nothing to warrant a specialist setting, and up until year 2 was happy at school. We have had bullying from a particular TA over hair in years 3,4 and the start of year 5 but after many emails to school this stopped. Some bullying from other kids too but nothing major, just enough to make my child miserable. The bullying has started with another member of staff now but is being denied by the staff member and HT. The latest response from school is angry in tone and denies everything claiming it’s my child’s perception only. The incident before resulted in me making a formal complaint where the TAs actions were denied and it was put down to my child’s perception of things. Other kids have had the same issue with being targeted by the same TAs.

I’m thinking of applying to a different school but am reluctant to do so part way through year 6. It might be the best thing for my child though. The school is otherwise supportive generally but the bullying is now resulting in school refusal and I have a fight on my hands every day.

Has anybody transferred in year 6 and if so, how did things work out. The council have said they do it all the time but I’d appreciate any experience and advice. TIA

This doesn't sound like bullying. More of not following the support plan put in place, e.g. the adjustments to hair. Have you had a meeting with the SEND Lead?

Why should hair need reasonable adjustments? Surely any hairstyle needs to be suitable for the young person to handle themselves or a reasonable adjustment of a head covering is used eg turban. School is not going to provide staff to help with hair. My dc had long hair and it was platted to keep it tidy, they had Sikh students with turbans, a lovely lad with dreadlocks who wore a hat in school colours knitted by his Jamaican granny, Muslim hijabs etc and all didn’t require help by tas

My child’s hair needs reasonable adjustments during lunch and assembly and these are often denied with staff asking why they are needed despite knowing of the support plan.
what did you mean to write instead of hair?
is it not the hair you said that’s causing the bullying?

I did wonder if I was missing something 😂

So far OP you haven't managed to describe anything that resembles bullying.

Can you give actual examples of what you think your son is experiencing.

Can your child be given a different TA if there are issues? I’d be inclined to put everything in writing, each incident, and take it to the council or the school governors if the HT isn’t doing anything to investigate properly

I would be careful not to conflate "not meeting your child's SEN" with "bullying." If the first TA made teasing or offensive comments about his hair, then yes, that's bullying. But punishing your child for not following school rules (even if he's doing so because of his SEN) is not bullying, because he's being treated as other children would be treated: it's not meeting his needs/accommodating his disability. I'm not downplaying how detrimental that would be - but you need to call it what it is, or the school can rightly say you and your child are exaggerating.

People do, indeed, transfer in year 6 all the time - people move house, divorce etc. Do you have an EHCP in place? Without that, it's difficult to ensure and enforce that needs are met and that a plan is followed.

Depending on your child's SEN, is it possible that they are misperceiving interactions e.g. being gently but firmly told to return to their work or that they are working slowly, as being told off for being slow? It can be both acknowledged that a child needs extra time and appropriate to remind them to speed up their pace of work.

Yohre saying it's bullying they're saying it's not, you're going around in circles with both sides getting more riled up.

I'd be inclined to say to them 'fine, we'll agree that it's my child's perception that when the TA / whoever says xyz, that they're bullying him. It's very upsetting for him, regardless of the intention. If it's not intended to upset him, I'm raising it with you so the behaviour that he's finding upsetting can be stopped. If it continues then the only explanation is it is bullying as you now know it's upsetting for him. If what he's experiencing is intended as a reprimand or punishment, I'm raising it with you as he clearly doesn't understand what's happening or why, and we need an explanation he can understand please.'

In and outs of the bullying aside, I’m assuming this isn’t a school that runs all the way through to 16 (or 18)? In which case I don’t see why you’d move him now, he’s moving anyway in a few months. He’d have two new schools to deal with in ~6 months.

IME school children tend to use the word "bullying" if someone does or says something they're not happy about. HTH

I don’t understand how you can say that your child has been bullied for the past 3 years by an adult member of staff and you haven’t pulled him out already?

You’re going to need to be more specific about the adjustments and the needs. If your child needs to go to the toilet 10 times a day but is actually asking to go 30 times and messing about while he’s in there, or doing it to avoid work, then he’s rightly going to be pulled up over this.

My thoughts exactly! Why has it got to yr6 and only NOW are you wanting to change schools?

The responses youve got here might help explain why the school are being defensive. It sounds like there are two separate issues. The first, that you son is experiencing potentially racist micro-agressions from one then another TA over a cultural hair style.
The second is that his plan isn't being followed.
If you conflate the two issues as bullying it doesn't come across very clearly and may not be understood by the school.

In your shoes I'd go and look at other schools. The la should be able to tell you where has places.

I’d like to know exactly what you mean by bullying. The info you’re giving on here is very confusing.

I agree with everyone else.

To get support about how to help, you need to explain / give examples of what you are referring to as 'bullying', as so far what you are saying isn't clear at all.

I’m very confused by the information given. What has the TA actually done to bully your child?

I wondered this as well. But even if it is, that is his perception and its upsetting him, so what are the school going to do about it. Sounds like they are saying. It's all his fault, nothing we can do.

The obvious solution is to look into the situation properly and if necessary arrange to train the TA.. it wouldn't take much to do that.. to make them more aware of how to deal with him.

They can't do nothing whilst your child suffers and starts refusing school. They need to stop seeing your child as a problem and review how to handle his needs, given that they know of his condition.

It's similar to what one might say to a parent whose child has a sleep problem or a discipline problem, look at how things are currently done, research a better way to do it.

What's the alternative otherwise? He continues to feel bullied, you continue to complain and the TA continues to defend themselves. That must be causing some stress/resentment all round surely.

Getting some kind of positive communication going with the school to address this would be better than moving your child in the second to last term of Year 6. At that age it will take a while to settle down and then it will almost be the year end.

this! If he’s upset by their comments about his hair and you’ve raised it and they continue then that’s not on!
Surely if the child is perceiving something the adult does not intend the solution is for the adult just to stop commenting on that physical attribute.

I remember a teacher commenting nearly weekly on my friends red hair. ‚oh your hairs soooo red.‘ It was clearly not a compliment despite on the face of it being a neutral comment. The frequency and tone of voice said it all.

id move him! They aren’t going to make changes.

Sadly I can easily see a TA singling out a child to bully them.

OP, if you move your child to another school will that impact the secondary school application?

It's quite a lot of disruption - but I did move of one my children before Christmas in year 6 and it worked very well- but. I was also aware it could go the other way.

Do your research. Write aist of pros / cons and take action. If you opt to stay, you'll have be at peace with his existing school- otherwise the next 6 months are destined for stress.

So what did you mean to say instead of “my child’s hair needs readjustment” @Schoolbullies ?