Ex’s turn to have the children this weekend.

[ticktockali]

Hello I wondered please if anyone can help me understand this.
My ex and I have our 3 dc 50/50. We have not been in direct contact with one another for 3yrs. Dc are 17, 15 & 13. Any contact is via his girlfriend.
Ex is going abroad with his girlfriend this weekend when our dc should be with him and my DC told me that their grandparents are moving in to his house to look after them for the 3 days.
His house is 2 miles away from mine.
is this ok? Should anything happen to any of them they would not tell me. It was a very acrimonious separation where I have no contact with his parents either.

I’m certain if one of them was injured or sick and wanted me they would not tell me.

Thats really really odd. How do you know they wouldn't tell you if they were sick or injured?

Agreed.
Imagine scaremongering your children with a comment like that when they are visiting with their grandparents.

Thank you for your comment. With all due respect they have witnessed their Grandmother physically assaulting me. They know it was very wrong and they want to keep the peace, as do I.

Perhaps that should have been written into your court orders if its that dangerous a situation.

You didn't bother to provide that information in your original post.

But either way, the wording will instill fear in your children.

They shouldn't be around a violent criminal.
Peacekeeping is a trauma response, have they had therapy?

Well this wasn't in your OP and puts a completely different spin on things.

Yes it’s fine. Obviously giving you a heads up would have been the polite and typically expected thing to do but he has arranged childcare and his holiday isn’t impacting you because the children will be in his care (even if he’s not there).

I'm really surprised how laid back everyone is being.

Yes, on the face of it everything should be fine and ex doesn't need to tell OP childcare arrangements for his trip, but there's been a restraining order against him for C&C, which his parents attacked OP for, and DC are going there to avoid the fuss saying no would cause..

I dare say they saw their mother go along with things she didn't like to avoid a fuss too.

I'd be telling them the very fact they're worried about the fall out of saying they'd rather be at home is the reason they should say it, and that I'd support them with any fall out, if they prefer not to go to GPs.

They're old enough to decide for themselves and if they choose to go that's fine. .If they're scared not to go, that's not OK.

Can't they just stay at home (yours) at that age? They don't need weekends with the other parent if they don't want to.

I'm really surprised how laid back everyone is being.

Probably because none of the crucial information was included in the OP.

It was in her post only 10 min after the OP though.

Yes but a lot of people don't scan through and read every post.

Absolutely fine, really can’t see an issue. For starters they’re old enough to look after themselves, particularly the eldest but also he’s arranged alternative childcare so it isn’t as if he’s saying he won’t have them on his weekend.

Just tell the children that if one if them us injured or suck or they feel uncomfortable they can text you and come home no questions asked.

i would tell your kids if they prefer to stay at home with you then they can! They are meant to be spending time with their father at the weekend that’s the whole point of it and if that’s not happening and they would rather stay home then 🤷‍♀️ sod the grandparents imo

do you share locations with your children on their phones? It maybe a good idea to set this up for the weekend with all 3 of them, then you can literally see where they are and if anything happens ask them to just text you " need your advice"

I very much doubt anything will happen, but if it does your dc know how to contact you and alert you, you can see where they are. Hopefully this will give you all peace of mind and not be needed

I think communication as to who is supervising your DC is essential.
Your EX should have explained he and his gf are away and Grandparents are looking after kids.
My question would be : how do your teenage kids feel about the grandparent arrangement,if they are ok with it thats fine.
Presumably your kids know how to contact you of any issues arise?

OP why on earth at 17 does your child need a baby sitter ditto the 15 year old who can then both mind the youngest one if needs be which there doesnt seem to be anyway .

they dont want to stay with the Gp who they once witnessed them assaulting you! They don't have to !