Birthday blues…..

[Shootingstar1111]

I started seeing my bf in august and things have been going really well, he’s lovely but I have a massive concern about the way he is with money. He never seems to have any.
I found out at Christmas he took out a £500 loan to get through the month. This was after lending money off me too…He has had to get an IVA too.
Today is my birthday, I woke up to a card and he sheepishly said he was going to nip into town to get me something because he “hasn’t been able to”… I asked him what he meant and he said he’s had to take an advance on his wage and it only came through this morning. We haven’t argued but I’ve told him not to bother, he already knows how concerned I am about his ways with money and I certainly don’t want him borrowing to buy me something when he could have budgeted.
His issue is he cannot budget, he lives like a king when he gets paid then is skint for the next 3 weeks.
i have told him to go home because I’m so irritated. It just seems like a huge lack of effort on his part and how can I think of a future with someone so bad with money?

I think you need to get yourself out of this relationship. You haven’t been together that long and this is all red flags, already borrowing money off you, an IVA, a loan to get through Christmas. You will always be financially helping him. To not get you anything for your birthday and tell you in the morning “I’ll go get you something” is just rubbish for your first birthday together.

I would break up and cut your losses, it’s only been months x

He's already borrowing money off you after four months together????

That's a red flag OP

End this. He'll bankrupt you both.

You can't have a future with someone who is awful with money. Finances do cause stress in relationships and he obviously had issues regarding money. You'd have to have complete control if you ever lived together.

And tbh this makes dating difficult - something like a weekend away becomes a pain - he can't afford it, doesn't pay for a meal etc....

Dump him, get yourself a nice piece of cake and make sure you don't pick a financially incontinent partner again.

You’re not unreasonable to feel how you feel but, it shouldn’t really have come as a surprise if he is rubbish with money. It is a red flag that a few months in you have lent him money

If you are looking for a serious relationship, I don’t think this is the guy for you. He will be a nightmare when it comes to moving in, buying or renting, paying bills etc unless he is willing to drastically change?

If you’re not after a serious relationship then get him to make it up to you when he gets paid but don’t lend him any more cash

End it, it's only been a few months. He sounds like a cocklodger-in-waiting.🚩

Yep, you need to get out now.

Get rid. There is no future in this relationship, not a happy one anyway.

It’s your birthday, do something you enjoy. 🥳

How old are you both?

I would be very wary of making a commitment to a man who has no control over their finances.

I think financial compatability is hugely important in a successful relationship. You 2 are not aligned in this regard and you will spend your life bailing him out and financially supporting both of you.

I would end it now.

Bet he’s also got a gambling habit