Conflict with therapist

[ThrowingDi]

I started cognitive behavioural therapy due to something bad that happened at work. Things are ongoing in a sense, I have a new job now so out of that environment - but stressful legal things are still ongoing as I have a claim against ex employer.

I basically wanted to get some support with getting my headspace back to normal, as it’s been quite draining.

Anyway had the penultimate therapy session today, and she basically started closing therapy early when I was thinking we’d have a live therapy session. She basically said, she doesn’t feel we have much more to discuss because my work situation is ongoing, unresolved and that I’m just reacting normally to a shit predicament.

Aibu to be taken aback by this? Just makes me feel like a lost cause almost! Because although I’ve made changes and engaged etc I still don’t feel totally comfortable or confident especially in a work context. So was hoping I’d gain more from therapy as opposed to how things are left.

It sounds like you do want to talk about it? I think "latched on" is quite a loaded term, as if she was looking for an excuse to brush you off. In reality it sounds like she has done all she can with CBT and there was nowhere more to go.

Yes my preference would have been for this specific session to be used as a proper therapy appointment.

Instead she held a reflection session where she spent the entire appointment reviewing the course of therapy.

I felt the reflection stuff was premature. I don’t want indefinite therapy as it’s draining - so I just wanted to utilise this session as much as possible, because she said next week would just be reviewing the therapy again.

But I do agree that if she can’t help for whatever reason, there’s no point having a session for the sake of it and I understand her perspective a bit more now.

But what do you mean by "proper therapy"? You signed up for CBT. CBT is not talking therapy, if that is what you mean.

Clinical psychologist here - will you see her again? If so tell her what you have told us here. Therapists usually have quite thick skins!

I feel you’re poking holes now. By proper therapy I meant actual CBT, not reviewing the end of therapy questionnaire that we covered.

CBT is a talking therapy.

Also OP i meant to say as it was the penultimate session it makes sense that she reviewed the work you have done together and hasn't opened up something else.

Well, not in the sense of "Let me tell you about my childhood"

OP is arguing with her therapist's opinion. Maybe we have got into psychodynamic therapy territory here?

It can be used in that way. Brief, time limited CBT with a CBT therapist may not always touch on events in childhood. As a clinical psychologist who uses CBT, I certainly would.

You need a different type of therapy. You will probably have to pay for it. It is pretty shoddy to end early - she is likely under pressure to get the waiting list down but that is the nhs for you - underfunded and understaffed. I'm sorry this happened. Work trauma is the worst.

Not necessarily. It is not uncommon for there to be a rupture in the therapeutic relationship. If the OP feels they can air their views with the therapist, id be surprised if it was taken badly.

In fairness, it’s irresponsible of a therapist to open up something that’s potentially very raw in the second last session of a short course of therapy because they could potentially open up something very wounding and not have time in subsequent sessions to offer you support with it.

It’s also not unusual for someone to decide with one or two sessions to go, that they do want to talk about the very hard thing. It’s for the therapist to help pace the work and not open up things that can’t be sorted in the remaining time available. As hard as it is, she sounds reasonable.

CBT in the nhs is very restricted to what they can and cannot work with . It sounds like you were wanting to take the CBT out of the realms of what the therapist was permitted to focus on and that is why she nipped it in the bud and chose not to discuss it ?

You would get more flexibility paying privately .

Given the majority of commenters see my POV, I’d say it’s more likely that you’re being adversarial for the sake of it. You’ve been corrected here a few times by others too so I don’t think your blanket assumptions have validity.

You don’t need to respond - your contributions have become unhelpful. I’d rather, you left the thread.

Yes to be honest I think this is exactly what happened, she didn’t want to discuss something big right before the sessions wrapped up.

CBT is about you finding a method of coping more healthily, I think? At least it was for me years ago.

If you've grasped the concept and sounds like you have, she was right to say there is nothing more that CBT, right now, could do with your ongoing work issues because you already have the foundations. To say you are reacting/coping 'normally' (whatever that means!), sounds positive to me. Far from being a lost cause as you took it.

Yeah potentially. I think I would welcome a break from therapy and just having some uninterrupted weeks to let the therapy bed in and see how I go. I do feel better compared to when I started, but I guess my benchmark was being “normal” again. Ie how I was before this work BS occurred! Possibly overshot it.

I think it’s reasonable to want to feel “normal”, to feel how you did before the thing at work happened. The problem is that very distressing events often change us in some way. CBT will give you skills to cope with the impact, but more relationship based therapies will help you understand the impact, how it’s changed your thinking and feeling and will help you adapt to who you are now - and help you grow through it. That process takes a while, it’s not a short, time limited process. In your shoes I’d take some time to let the dust settle and look for a different type of therapy when you’re ready.