To think kids birthdays are so so stressful!

[ChippingSoda]

Urgh it’s just so much to think about! And I always mess it up!

just been to supermarket to get click and collect and guess what - they don’t have the character cake my DC especially asked for! So now I’m casting around trying to decorate a plain one myself and it will most likely be not that good.

Birthday is tomorrow. Just realised one of the presents needs an adapter we don’t have and now have to frantically source. Party with rampaging 7 year olds on Sunday and one mum has just got back to a message I sent over a week ago to let me know her son is gluten free….

family gathering tomorrow evening and MIL called last night to say she will be here at 3pm (I’ll be working) to “set something up….” Wtf. And having to cater for a vegan and a low carb option. Will toast some nuts lol.

anyway…. Why is it all so stressful.

cue everyone telling me I’m just rubbish (true tbf I find this sort of thing v hard - have other talents!) and it’d be easy if I just properly organised myself (also true)

but surely I’m not BU to think it’s all rather a lot on top of job and life and everything???

I have never found them stressful. Birthdays are pretty low key in our family. My DC’s only ever had one party, which didn’t go ahead as dd1 and me came down with a sickness bug the night before, after that I refused to do parties and they just had a friend over or a trip out somewhere. Cake has probably been the most important part but I make my own.

Christmas is way more stressful.

Well, I can't tell you you don't find it stressful, as you obviously do, but tbh, I didn't particularly. Family parties were literally just a cup of tea and cake. We never had house parties, just threw them at a soft play, or one of the local trampoline parks, and took everyone for pizza afterwards. I think the most complicated one was a party share with DS's best friend when they were aged 7, where it involved a local leisure centre hall and a mobile go-kart racing thing, and the other child's older siblings showed up with lots of their friends for the food, which meant DH had to run out for about eight large pizzas in the middle of it all, but actually, everyone had a blast.

I wouldn't rely on click and collect for a specific cake, ever, but you know that now! Good luck with it all. I'm sure it will be fine.

I’ve always had parties for mine, which is not apparently the done thing on here but who cares, the kids have a ball, and they can be a bit stressful.

Do you have a Cake Box near you? You can get photos done or characters. Dd had a horse and ds had lightning McQueen.

We’ve gone with trampoline parks / soft play and they have done everything; it’s expensive though.

It’s a kids birthday, it doesn’t need to be stressful. Ordering a specific cake for click and collect the day before is too risky if you are bothered about what you get. And knowing today about GF for a party on Sunday isn’t a bit deal. Try and calm down and put things into context a bit, it’s a kids birthday, nothing bad is going to happen. Organise things differently next year

You’re all right. I’m being a bit ridiculous. Don’t know why I find it so overwhelming but will just calm. Thank you.

and yes it was dumb to order click and collect for the day before. I usually make cakes and I was trying to make life easier for myself. Lesson learned.

Have just spent my lunch break decorating a plain cake and with the help of some Lego figures and glitter spray it looks…. Not that bad!! at the very least I think my DC might find my efforts quite funny so there’s that!

Only do the minimum. If MIL wants to come early , delegate .

I actually came to say I find my dd's birthday party the most stressful day of the year! I'm quite introverted (unlike her) and all of it's hard - the invites, the coordination, meeting and greeting. Solidarity!

Is one of the seven year olds vegan?

Yes, I find them stressful. But we've always done whole-class parties and still do them even for the 8yo (we're one of a few families in the class who still do them) so every child gets invited to at least a few parties a year.

We usually have between 30-40 children attending and entertaining, feeding and organising this number of children is never going to be a relaxing experience 😂. I've mentally accepted that kids' parties = a lot of planning and hard labour.

Good plan. Let’s hope she’s helpful and isn’t planning to set up an aerial runway in the garden/reptile house for an unexpected birthday lizard/indoor climbing frame etc …. she has form with quite eccentric presents! (My DC adores her so I tolerate the surprises :)

Er I am just here to support you in saying I found/find all this kind of stuff insanely stressful. Pre-kids I had a board level position in a global media behemoth and I was nonchalant about putting together multi year strategies and presenting them to all and sundry - the skills required to be a good and organised mum I find insanely challenging. In work I had a PA to do all this, alas now I AM the PA for all this, I suck at it by nature though years of practice have made me better.

I really don’t get why posters jump on to a poster who are stressed out about something, be it a personal life thing, parenting, financial organisation, career issues, and immediately say ‘well I don’t find that stressful AT ALL, NEVER EVER SO THERE’. Maybe not, but perhaps your empathy and social skills could use a reboot!

OP - sympathies, comrade. Good luck with your party, it’ll be great when you get there. Drink tea, eat chocolate. And I’m sure you have other complex things you take in your stride!

gluten free. Have now planned a GF pizza and some other bits they will be able to have. It’s an intolerance not coeliac.

the vegan is my step mum, but she’s actually just texted to say she will bring some bits and I’ve got some things she can have anyway - it’s a buffet.

Oh meant to quote you in above!

They’re as stressful as you let them be. Stop having such high expectations and comparing to what you think you should be doing or what you see online.

If you don’t want to host a party, don’t. Ask you child which friend or two they’d like round for tea after school or to go to soft play and McDonald’s!

Make firm boundaries with family about timings that they are allowed to come round to see your children for their birthday “Hi all, as you can imagine we’ve got a very busy weekend with DC birthday so we are giving the time a lot of between 1-4 on Saturday for family to pop round for a cup of tea and a slice of cake.”

I have 2 children this month before payday (and they are not twins!!)

The hardest part for me is finding gifts (and money and enthusiasm😂) so close to Christmas.

I've never done a party as we have never been able to afford it [in our case we'd have to do two as the kids are different ages so a joint party for friends wouldn't work! We couldn't give one a proper party and not the other]

Depending on the days they fall on they are only a few days apart we tend to do a family gathering / party for the younger one (but also do a cake for the older one) and the older one chooses an activity and we ask a few friends. Younger one tags along to hang out with me!

I had my 4 year olds party with a load of nursery friends at our house before Christmas. Spent a week worrying about it and kind of dreading it. When the time came it went really well and it was all rather fun and cute. Don’t stress!

Thank you! This is such a lovely and supportive message. I identify with the work thing - I honestly manage quite stressful situations and get through it fine, but just seem to lack some quite basic skills around organising events! I rely heavily on our team assistant at times, who is brilliant at such things. Sadly he’s not employed to manage my kids birthday parties…

I know it will be fine and the stakes are low in reality - my DC will not mind imperfections. I have a cake and my dad is bringing the adapter I need. All is OK. Breathe.

Totally agree the after Christmas timing adds to the stress…. You’re just over Christmas and back at work but have to muster all the energy and enthusiasm for a birthday!

I find them stressful - solidarity!

Schedule in some recovery time afterwards, you will deserve it

Kids parties where the sodding parents don't RSVP. I hate school mums :)

I find them a LOT of work - there are a lot of moving parts! And I think having one so soon after Christmas would be a nightmare.

If I were you, in future years I’d ditch the idea of a separate family do. Invite family to the kids’ party and then they can help!

I bet the cake looks fab ! The only cakes my son remembers are the ones I decorated myself , one year he was into Minecraft and my daughter and I made figures out of marzipan and another year was ghostbusters plastic figures stuck on a cake ( both supermarket sponge cakes nothing special ) Just go with the flow 7 year olds are easy to entertain . Have you got games planned ?

YANBU. But I have then never hosted a family gathering. If the birthday is on a school day then the birthday person chooses what we have for tea and we just get a normal chocolate cake or something, we don't have any one over. In laws don't live locally but we will see my parents on the weekend either before or after where we just have a cup of tea and they see the birthday child open their present.

Regarding a party, that's when we get the themed cake from the supermarket. Luckily we only had someone come with different dietary requirements once and they said they would bring their own food so that was a win!
Although it might also seem expensive I usually have done activities where someone else hosts, trampoline party, bowling party etc and food is provided and you tell them of any needs.

I would cut back on the parties (family either just pop in to open presents or go to a proper party to help).

Birthdays are a doddle in comparison to Christmas so I don’t find them too bad. I order the cake from a lady that has a small business nearby. Parties are always organised at a venue that has a planner that does everything. Almost easy in comparison lol. I am stressed out my nut at Christmas time though, was actually glad when it was over this year and I used to love Christmas.

Why are you doing everything? Even if your DH can’t make the party he can do other stuff. The adaptor for a start. Do the shopping etc.