To feel that the good doesn't outweigh the bad?

[CoffeeAndIce]

Currently up with DS for the 3rd night, waiting for a callback from 111 so I'm aware that things often feel worse at night, but..

Does anyone else feel the good bits of life/parenting/everything don't outweigh the bad? Everything in life feels pretty shit, the world is awful. Yes flowers are pretty, and food is nice etc etc but meh.

Even parenting, lovely, my kids are genuinely amazing and I love them more then I could ever imagine but this has created huge anxiety for me, particularly around illness. It's all just so hard and relentless and they're not even that little (teen, preteen, preschooler). I read earlier on a thread if I had known what I missed (parenting realities) but not who I'd miss, I probably would've skipped it. But I feel like that about life in general.

Then you get old and constantly ill, and tired and your body doesn't work properly and I just feel like, what have we actually lived this life for? What was the point of it all to just be miserable, or in pain, or spend money on random crap, even holidays, so much work for little reward. Yes hobbies etc are supposed to bring joy, but really it's just pointless. You live just to die, random crap is left behind.

It's probably just me, very tired and stressed with ill child, or that I'm a miserable cow, but genuinely wondering if anyone feels similar?

Disclaimer absolutely not saying anyone else's life isn't worth it, purely talking about myself and my own feelings surrounding my life.

You nailed it in your first para. Things feel worse at night, particularly when you’re underslept and your child is ill.

It’s not a matter of bad or good outweighing one another, they just coexist. And some things are more meaningful over time. And some seasons of life are unbearably exhausting and shit.

Hang in there. You’ll get through it.

How old are you OP? I think you may be having a rough time at the moment and it's getting you down. Can you treat yourself next weekend? Get away for a day?

I'm in my 60s. Life hasn't descended into misery & chaos yet. I Parkrun, practice karate, cycle. No ill health. I'm one of 6 siblings, some in their 70s, we're all still busy, enjoying ourselves. Eleven children between us, Seven grandchildren between us so far. All healthy and happy. Employed. Everyone has the occasional bad year but it passes.

Take care of yourself. Avoid the obvious - smoking, drinking, eating rubbish, too much stress and not enough exercise. Have some fun. The odds are you'll be fine.

Apparently I am far more emotional then I thought, your post just made me sob. Thank you

I'm 33. You sound like you have a wonderful, meaningful life. I hope I didn't offend you.

My life is great too, I know I should feel more appreciative. I feel like things are too good to be true maybe? Like something bad must happen, because it happens to other people so why not my children, or us? I'm definitely a glass half empty type of person clearly!

No offence at all. I think perhaps you are suffering from too much news. One day over Christmas I realised I was listening to news stories about people getting ill, charity fund raising about an ill child, disasters and deaths in other countries, vile politicians and endless nastiness - it's a constant theme in the media, and it gets you down. No-one needs to hear that.

Can you plan a weekend when you don't listen to the news, stay off social media, turn off the phone, spend the weekend doing exactly what you want - sleeping, bumbling, doing nice stuff. It's time to focus on you and your immediate loved ones. I hope you feel better xx

I actually do try to avoid the news but definitely use social media too much, and there's a lot of sad things on there. Also hear the news on the radio. Definitely need to plan a day or a few like you've suggested, thank you.

On a side note, local our of hours were supposed to call in a couple of hours. It's been 6. So tired

Hope you managed to get some sleep OP, things always seem worse in the middle of the night. Life is ups and downs, I think we just have to weather the storms and enjoy the good times. Not sure one outweighs the other!