What should a 13/14 year old be doing?

[Worried8263839]

Within the home. I’d be interested to hear what household tasks your teens of this age are responsible for or do.

In our house it is a constant battle and currently he is only putting his washing in (when told to) and putting his own clean washing away. He needs constant reminders for basic stuff like having a shower or eating!

AIBU to think he should be doing more by this age?

Jesus the bar is high

😂

I need to crack the whip (not literally, MN, don't report me)

11 & 13yo - regularly clears table, hoovers / tidies a room when asked. Makes simple meals, eg scrambled egg or waffles for breakfast. Put their own washing away, bring a basket of dirty washing down when asked. Generally will do anything they’re asked to, not much automatically though

13yo very helpful at food shopping - likes to be strong & carry the bags I think. 11yo better at putting it away at home.

Cheerful obedience 🤣

I went from reminding mine to clean his teeth twice every bloody day to reminding him he really does NOT need 3 showers a day FFS... One extreme to the other 🤣

Mine (14) does dishwasher duties, cleans the kitchen, walks the dog occasionally and makes his own meals. Brings 372 glasses down from his room occasionally too ... He always ALWAYS asks what he can do to help me and this matters to me more than what he actually ends up doing.

My just turned 15 year old changes his sheets, lays the table when it's his turn, makes his own breakfast/lunch, helps with tidying, brings his own and younger brothers laundry down, puts his clean washing away. He has to be reminded/nagged to do all those things though and he will only wash willingly when trying to impress a girl!

Light cooking, cleaning bathroom, bedroom, kitchen and living areas, put food away, laundry, changing beds, dishes, taking out trash, pet care including walking dog or cleaning cat litter boxes, mowing or snow shoveling, at that age he should be able to take care of a place without guidance.

He is responsible for making his own bed and cleaning his room, polishing / vacuuming / stripping bed and remaking. He is responsible for the landing vacuuming.He feeds the dog his dinner and walks him before and after school. Putting his clothes away. Tidying up after himself. Some cooking.

he does self care well. Showers daily without being asked. Works out in his room. Piano practice daily.

That's impressive!

My 13 yo DS is in charge of the recycling and taking the bins in and out on bin day. He does the dishwasher and takes the dog when asked. He would not do this unprompted though.

he showers every morning. This is mainly because he is very particular about his hair I think!

he keeps his room tidy and puts his own washing away.

10 year old dd likes to dust so does that on occasion. She will take it upon herself to empty the dishwasher. She keeps her room fairly tidy. She puts her own washing away.

both kids make their own breakfasts and lunches. I want to get DS cooking the odd simple tea soon and putting a wash on. I would like him to start taking a bit of initiative too and doing things without being asked but to be fair I don’t think I ever did anything without being asked at 13.

14 year old DS does not a lot tbh. Will walk the dog if asked, will put the vacuum round if asked. Has to be reminded to put a plate in the dishwasher rather than leave on the side. Will clean his dirty football boots. Will make himself some food if he’s hungry, will sometimes make us a cup of tea.

However he’s a good kid, doing well at school so I’m not on his case too much.

11 year old DD loves keeping her bedroom immaculately tidy.

I never want anyone but me doing the laundry in our house. I’m always thinking one wash ahead and it would screw up my weeks laundry plans if kids went rogue and started doing their own.

Thanks, I'm lucky though as both boys are naturally quite tidy and are happy to muck in, it's never really been a battle.

My 14dd does not do lots. Keeps her bedroom tidy, changes her bedding, sorts out washing. Once a week she will help me for around an hour to do a deeper clean. She’ll tidy if she sees mess as she hates it.
she is very independent though and I don’t have to remind her to do anything in terms of her own things. She trains 6 times a week for a sport, and volunteers once a week, so that on top of homework she doesn’t have a lot of free time.

Essentially they should be doing what you want them to do and there is a massive range of choice there. I never insisted mine did anything. One was super tidy and enjoyed doing lots of jobs, she just mucked in when she saw things needing done like DH and I do. The other was a messy little shit and barely brought clothes to washing. Both turned out to be successful, independent adults who manage their homes and work lives. So it really does depend on what you want them to do.

at that age mine were responsible for
-tidying and cleaning their own rooms
-changing bedding including washing/hanging up to dry
-unloading dishwasher
-sorting/folding laundy
-cooking dinner (once a month)
-setting/clearing dinner table

probably more...