Having doubts about my wedding planner

[lilybit2025]

We’re getting married in Italy in June 2028 at a large, well known venue that hosts weddings almost daily. I found our planner through the venue’s Instagram... she’s English, has lived in Italy for 18 years, and has good reviews (though she isn’t very active on social media). We had a video call, she was lovely, and I asked someone who used her previously if they would recommend her, so we booked her.

I’m a very organised person, so maybe that’s part of this, but two months in there’s been very little communication. I’ve been the one reaching out, for example to ask about videographers, and when I did she simply forwarded a supplier’s price list with no message or context. I know the wedding is still a long way off, but I expected a bit more, even just checking in about what we want or explaining when things will properly start/where to go from here. Should I email her asking when I can expect to start arranging catering, going through details of what I want, is it too early etc?

Am I being overly cautious or a bridezilla, or is it reasonable to expect more engagement at this stage?

I think it’s fair to ask for a timeline. I have no idea how long in advance venues are booked now but 15 years ago when I got married we booked the venue when we got engaged which was 2 years before so I’d expect her to at least be looking into venues.
What has she actually provided for the £2000 so far?

I can’t imagine paying someone to book my wedding, but aside from that, I can’t believe you’re booking it over two years ahead! I booked my wedding a month beforehand and it’s still the best one I’ve ever been to.

Great, but it's not quite the same as booking a wedding abroad without speaking the language is it?

Come on everyone, if OP was posting 'omg I've emailed so many vendors in Italy and nobody has replied, what do I do?' she'd be getting comments telling her how stupid she was for not using a wedding planner. It makes total sense. Our venue included a wedding planner (not abroad, local) and tbh her advice was very valuable, and she was there on the day to make it all run smoothly and save me having to coordinate anything and be the bride.

Jesus 2.5 years away and you’re worried about progress?!

More money than sense! She saw you coming OP! You’ve handed over 2 grand with no info on timescales or what’s happening when and you’ve booked your own venue, is that not the main point of having a wedding planner?!

Is anyone else googling “how to become a wedding planner” 😂

Not surprised you feel overly cautious after throwing £2000 at this woman so far in advance. You must have huge wedding budget. Your wedding is absolutely ages away, she doesn’t need to engage with you yet. You absolutely would be better off booking it yourself as you clearly want things done a certain way. However you’ve already entered a contract and paid half so
maybe you should just see how you feel in a year or so.

People can get paid £1000s to google stuff over years?

Sign me up. How do I become a wedding googler?

Are you actually joking? You want to discuss catering and details for an event happening in over 2 years?!

By all means ask for an overview of what happens when, but beyond that you're definitely getting carried away with yourself!

It’s 2.5 years away, I wouldn’t be panicking about it. She’s probably just focusing on her current clients which she will with you in due time. She could have sent a personal message when she sent over details though

I also got married in Italy had a two year planning period but my planner did send me a spreadsheet after booking him which detailed when he’d need what decisions by and I was under strict instructions not to bother him any earlier with decisions than the spreadsheet indicated 😂

I got married in 2022 and depending on where about in Italy you’re getting married, I’d recommend my makeup artist and videographer. My makeup artist I think only did around the amalfi coast (amalfimakeup on instagram) but my videographer did travel (prime vision - genekulik.com) their footage was exactly what I wanted, but they did take longer than agreed.

Have you had some kind of kick off meeting?
Initial discussion?
Agreed terms?

That would usually be the starting point. Then you decide on next steps.

As an experienced event manager and wedding planner, it’s definitely too early (so long as your venue has been secured). If you want a few questions answered to ease your mind, you could set up a call to ask some top-line questions. I wouldn’t expect her to be giving you detailed information until 18-12 months out from the wedding, unless you have an unusual / queue wedding request.
£4,000 might seem quite a lot but most of that will be used for her time during the wedding build up and wedding day. It’s priceless to have someone at your wedding who has everything under control, as you won’t have to worry about a single thing, or worry about delegating to family and friends.
don’t worry about it yet, for sure x

I cannot believe you have paid effectively 50% deposit up front for an event 2.5 years away.
You may work in events and know stuff gets booked - but I’m a lawyer and I know just how many things can go bust in that time. Including, potentially, the planner’s business.

No way I’d have run that risk. Jesus wept.

Organising this wedding yourself would seem to be entirely playing to your own strengths.

You could quietly and happily arrange it all in your spare time and enjoy doing it couldn't you?

Alternatively, you could have a simply, lovely, happy wedding down the road from you this summer and start enjoying married life with multiple thousand of extra pounds in your pocket.