Nursery packed lunches - allergens list feels overwhelming!

[Querious]

Hi all, NC’d for this one! Never thought I’d be this kind of person to question an allergy policy in schools as I have lots of friends and family both currently and in childhood with dietary requirements like coeliac/ severe nut allergies/ vegan etc which I’ve always tried my best to accommodate when hosting them at mine or going out places to eat. However, my DC’s nursery have created such an exhaustive list of banned food in packed lunches that I’m really struggling to put together something healthy ish that a 3 year old will eat! Not allowed:

• egg (incl mayo and as an ingredient)
• nuts (incl coconut)
• seeds
• fish
• Chocolate
• sweets

I try to cook/ bake most things we consume and keep mainly low UPF but I’m not a zealot about it. Because of this however, the teachers are routinely removing things from my child’s lunchbox for fear of causing a reaction. In the short return after Christmas this has included greek yoghurt with strawberries blended into it (questioned the seeds so replaced with a packaged yoghurt), a sandwich made with wholemeal bread (seeds), a sandwich made from white focaccia (had some black flecks in - pepper, but they couldn’t be sure), hummus (homemade with no nuts but they couldn’t be sure!!), beetroot brownies (too much chocolate), sausage rolls (queried egg glaze, it was actually milk) and a piece of cake (as cakes are made with egg).

Genuinely tearing my hair out to figure out what I can put in a lunchbox that ticks all the nursery’s boxes plus my own lower UPF plus my DC’s picky habits - plus isn’t the same thing every day! For ex DC won’t reliably eat white bread, probably because we don’t buy it, prefers the hardest crustiest uncut bread you can buy 😂 I can’t afford school lunches and the menus aren’t great from a UPF perspective. Help! AIBU to think this is really difficult?

My toddler knew from aged 2 and a half what foods she was allergic too and that she couldn't touch any food not given to her by a trusted adult. As soon as she learnt a food word she learnt if she could have it or not. When she learnt the word milk she knew to ask of it was cow milk or oat milk and that she could only have oat milk.
At 3 she knew that she had to give me the sweets that had just flown out of the pinata at a kids party needed to be checked and /or swapped before she ate it.
At 4 she knew that when the school accidentally put peppers into her lunch for a school trip that she shouldn't eat them and didn't. She had only just turned 4 when the school made gingerbread men using egg and sent it home with it. She knew the moment she saw the egg go in the bowl that she wouldn't be able to eat the biscuits.

Not usually.

Maybe in gluten-free bread, or enriched bread like brioche. It’s not standard.

And only in fresh pasta or posh dried. Most pasta is just wheat.

Most bread and dried pasta doesn’t have egg.

Other than gluten free bread I don’t know why you’d want to put egg in bread?

She sounds brilliant, but you can’t reliably expect that from many young children.

Also the case that they can have a safe version of a food at home and not realise that the version they’re getting elsewhere isn’t safe. Different brands etc.
Bird’s custard vs homemade and so on.

Yeah I guess. The egg thing is the most annoying as it could be hidden.

Any pasta in the dry aisle is just durum wheat and water maybe oil. Fresh pasta can contain egg

Most bread is dairy and egg free, enriched dough - like cakey breads or brioche can contain egg or milk

Yes I agree with that. She hasn't spotted the butter in the recipe was butter and not the dairy free baking block when they made the gingerbread
The dieticians my daughter is under expect that by 5 they should be tell whole foods that they can't have and ask adults to check ingredients and as soon as they can read be able to check ingredients on their own. She's 5 and a half now and can now pick out some of her allergens from an ingredient list

Which is great but some children take longer to learn and other toddlers are also unpredictable at that age, are more likely to be messy etc.

Why would wheat, quinoa, oats, chickpeas, beans etc be problematic? Genuine question

because under some classification systems they are seeds. I.e grains which are seeds of certain grasses.

the nursery are taking a very restrictive stance (no strawberry seeds, confiscating bread topped with oats) so unless they clarify their position it is going to make OPs life v difficult and whilst I agree that this is about risk reduction not prevention it seems the biggest risk is OPs poor DC is going to be starving!

good for your daughter but it’s irrelevant as a standard. My own allergic child could not hear well and was not verbal at nursery age.
now at school they are very vigilant and capable of advocating for themselves.

separately, as with every allergy thread on mumsnet I am amazed at the ignorance and lack of empathy of some posters coupled with the baffling assurance that their own experience / that one person they know qualifies them to speak for everyone.

I'm aware of that, I put in a previous post that how my daughter nursery managed her allergies was by having her sat next to a staff member for all meals and she was only sat on a table with children that would sit nicely and not throw food around. My daughter has 20 allergies and it would be unreasonable to expect the whole nursery to adhere to her restrictions so they handled it behaviourally. They actually introduced nuts into the nursery to help accommodate my daughters diet and she had peanut butter wraps at least twice a week for her afternoon tea. 15 of her 21 meals a week were at nursery and she was only on the 1st percentile so it was important to get a balanced diet at nursery.

My daughter had speech regression so didn't talk until 2 and 2 months but her dietitian stressed the importance on teaching her about safe /unsafe foods and instils the idea that every food should be checked every time and blanket bans can lead to a false sense of security

My daughters school isn't dairy free but acknowledges that the biggest risk of accidents with dairy is with cups of milk because of this the only drinks allowed on site are water so that risk is mitigated it's about a balanced approach and figuring out solutions for each situation

Err I just lookked up free from bread

Sainsbury's, no egg...

Asda....no egg

Schar... no egg

Promise...no egg

So hardly impossible to get

A lot of GF bread doesn't have egg in ... Asda., Sainsbury's, promise and schar are 4 very easy to get hold of brands that contain no egg.

We can only easily access a Tesco

They don't carry promise, their own bread has egg in it, warburtons gf has egg in it. The schar bread rolls i have currently have a may contain egg warning.

(I wouldn't eat any of the linked breads in a sandwich without toasting either....)

The original poster doesn’t feed the little one ultra processed foods. Most gluten-free bread recipes will use egg as a binding ingredient. The point is that you have no idea from looking at it if it’s safe or not.

My daughter wasn't verbal until after 2.
I'm sorry if I came across as lacking empathy, I can see how if you only look at this post it might but I have posted others . Its really difficult with allergies as there is no one size fits all policy situation. My daughters allergies have been really difficult to manage as so many aren't on to the top 14 list. We didn't get her full list of 20 allergens until she was 15 months. There are foods she can't have for other reasons too as she has severe silent reflux and damage to her teeth as a result and had toddler diarrhea and gluten intolerance but has outgrown those. She has such a tightly managed diet and the only way practically to cope is by managing her and her risk of getting hold of food she can't have. It's not perfect, she came home from nursery once day excited that she had had dairy free cheese for the first time. My face dropped as I know for a fact that there isn't a vegan cheese she can have, she knew dairy free was fine she didn't know that vegan cheese has coconut and /or soya and/or carob and/or pea protein, she was already reacting, a quick call to the nursery confirmed that the vegan cheese wasn't safe for her to eat and they would check if she has been given it. It turned out the new chef assumed all "dairy free" foods were safe for her and it's not that simple as dairy is just one of the 20. They let the chef go after that. Thankfully although she is very sensitive she doesn't have severe reactions, I've had 3 anaphylaxis myself and know how scary they are.

Agreed.

But all the what-abouters are saying it's so difficult to get egg free gf bread/or there might be a child that can only eat eggs / they'll get nooooo protein......and it just isn't.

Getting hold of GF bread without egg in is easy, as is making it without egg.

So don't have a fucking sandwich then.

Have pasta, rice, oats etc etc

🤣🤣

I work in a school and our school has a 'no nuts' policy. Sweets are generally not allowed, but occasionally you might get a child who has a small packet. Bars of chocolate aren't allowed, but a biscuit bar covered in chocolate wouldn't be. We don't ban eggs or fish or dairy. Frequently we do get parents sending in Nutella!! The clue is in the name!! Hummus contains sesame, so that would be a no. Buy non-seeded brown bread.

I must have missed the update where OP said her daughter was ND with food issues, dairy and gluten allergies, and prone to livid rampages if she finds no nuts, seeds or egg in her lunchbox.

This thread is insane

Hmmmmm id be suspicious about a ban on e.g all seeds for example. My child had a severe allergy to tomato and id not insist they werent allowed in nursery or school - just that she not have access to it, be cleaned up etc. I understand the ban on nuts. Its shop bought food scrutinised so closely and removed?

When I worked in schools we would only accept certain foods in their original packaging, so we could check the allergens.

We couldn’t have a homemade birthday cake for example, but would take one from Tesco in the box.

I agree with this. I used to run an outdoor holiday club and we had a regular attendee with severe sesame allergy. Rather than banning hummus (we tried, it didn't work) we practiced safe behaviours as a group - no sharing food (unless preapproved by parent/carer), staying seated to eat, everyone had to wash hands before and after eating. Child brought their epipen and we had training and procedures around that for all staff. This was all agreed with their parent. We didn't have an incident in 6 years, hundreds of 6-11 year olds took part over that time. Far better all round than futile attempts to ban foods.

We didn't have an incident in 6 years, hundreds of 6-11 year olds took part over that time.

@Nimbus3000
The guidelines seem to be different for early years care, eg nurseries as in OP’s situation.