Nursery packed lunches - allergens list feels overwhelming!

[Querious]

Hi all, NC’d for this one! Never thought I’d be this kind of person to question an allergy policy in schools as I have lots of friends and family both currently and in childhood with dietary requirements like coeliac/ severe nut allergies/ vegan etc which I’ve always tried my best to accommodate when hosting them at mine or going out places to eat. However, my DC’s nursery have created such an exhaustive list of banned food in packed lunches that I’m really struggling to put together something healthy ish that a 3 year old will eat! Not allowed:

• egg (incl mayo and as an ingredient)
• nuts (incl coconut)
• seeds
• fish
• Chocolate
• sweets

I try to cook/ bake most things we consume and keep mainly low UPF but I’m not a zealot about it. Because of this however, the teachers are routinely removing things from my child’s lunchbox for fear of causing a reaction. In the short return after Christmas this has included greek yoghurt with strawberries blended into it (questioned the seeds so replaced with a packaged yoghurt), a sandwich made with wholemeal bread (seeds), a sandwich made from white focaccia (had some black flecks in - pepper, but they couldn’t be sure), hummus (homemade with no nuts but they couldn’t be sure!!), beetroot brownies (too much chocolate), sausage rolls (queried egg glaze, it was actually milk) and a piece of cake (as cakes are made with egg).

Genuinely tearing my hair out to figure out what I can put in a lunchbox that ticks all the nursery’s boxes plus my own lower UPF plus my DC’s picky habits - plus isn’t the same thing every day! For ex DC won’t reliably eat white bread, probably because we don’t buy it, prefers the hardest crustiest uncut bread you can buy 😂 I can’t afford school lunches and the menus aren’t great from a UPF perspective. Help! AIBU to think this is really difficult?

They are being ridiculous to say that not only can you not send these in, you cannot even send food that might maybe have these ingredients in!

Can you send it with a note “please note, I can confirm this lunchbox does not contain any of the restricted ingredients” as a generic one, with maybe a more specific one if there’s a food that might be problematic “the specks in the bread are pepper and are not seeds”. “This is homemade hummus and does not contain any nuts”.

My DH has a few anaphylactic allergies so I get the concern. But they’re being silly.

If they are so worried about potential allergens, surely the solution is providing the food themselves.

Theres no way 40x parents are all going to be rigidly sticking to this, if it’s not their child with an allergy.

I agree with this about including notes. In general they seem like they’re being ridiculous. At the same time, hummus usually includes sesame (tahini paste), which is a very common allergen and appears to be on their list of no-nos. So you might go out of your way to confirm for some of these things that you’ve made don’t have an allergen via a note.

That’s true - I’m taking OP at her word that the food she sends in is safe and therefore any notes would be accurate. One of my DH’s allergies is sesame and we do sometime make tahini free hummus.

That’s not a particularly long list. In fact it’s pretty standard just with the addition of egg and fish. I think the issue is more that they’re questioning things that don’t actually contain the allergens and should be fine e.g. blended strawberry or pepper flecks. I’d honestly ask for a quick chat with the manager and say from now on you’ll write all the ingredients on a post it and stick to the lunchbox for them to check, and won’t include sweet treats like brownies, but they have to stop removing your DCs lunch just because you aren’t doing shop bought UPFs.

They are probably analysing your packed lunches extra hard because you are a big old rule breaker! So now they are concerned that you will do it again. You have a reputation. They can’t trust your lunches.

Don’t send in egg cake, seedy bread, seedy hummus and chocolate cake. Now that you have, they are on high alert.

My dd has anaphylaxis, I don’t agree with a ban on foods but that’s what they have decided to do.

Chocolate and sweets are standard, buy vegan mayo, plain wholemeal bread rather than seeded no tuna. I used to make chicken mayo and cranberry sandwiches for mine a lot, leftover from Sunday dinner, or pork joint sliced with apple sauce. Couscous, vegetables and feta with olive oil and lemon dressing for a non sandwich option

I think it's ridiculous. I'd be fuming about them removing homemade goodies. Mine has a nut ban and DD had her pesto unallowed- it was homemade and nut free. There's not even any nut allergies at her nursery they just like to prepare parents for school?!

I'd ask them to call you if they have any queries about your DC lunch. And refuse packaged junk food.

Really...you're struggling to find anything vaguely healthy??
Can't include
egg (incl mayo and as an ingredient)
nuts (incl coconut)
seeds
fish
Chocolate.

"Mains"

Sandwich/roll/wrap - with ham/cheese/chicken/turkey/cheese spread/hummus/jam
Pasta and sauce of some type
Lentils
Soups/dhals
Curries ...
Chicken and rice

Veggies ..
Carrots, cucumber, pepper, celery, radish, tomato, lettuce, avocado etc

And can include anything else like;
Cheese, yoghurt, kefir, crisps, plain biscuits, crackers, bread sticks, wafers, apples, banana, dates, pears, mango....

It's not a very restricted list TBF.

I don’t think it’s that hard but I have kids with allergies so am probably used to it.
Maybe a white or wholemeal sourdough loaf might suit your DC if they like crusty bread.
You can always give them brownies and cakes for home so I’d stick to fruit for ‘pudding’.
As pp said I’d just explain any potential sticking points like the sausage roll glaze.

What a nightmare, I thought all nurseries provided food. Thank god ours do, so much easier

I bet the adults lunches are full of the allergens!!

I think you'll need to do some packaged stuff while they learn to trust you again as that was at least two times you messed up and sent in something that could have really hurt a child.

Bread seems easy enough to avoid seeds. Just get wholemeal or the kind that isn't seeded.

Fish is a normal thing to avoid in school lunches - super icky for everyone else. Chocolates and such standard. Schools don't allow nuts so might as well get used to it. Eggs and seeds are the trickiest (more so for the child with a serious allergy).

Crackers and cheese? Crackers and meat? Any number of sandwich fillings with vegan mayo instead of regular? Veggies with a not-hummus dip (greek yogurt with something they like stirred through?). Fruit, yogurt, guacamole... you don't really have to worry about being creative and different each time, just come up with 3-5 lunches and rotate through them (my kids pack their own now and pack the same exact thing for weeks at a time)

The only one I would say is slightly limiting is eggs as an ingredient. But if they have a child with a severe egg allergy, they don't really have a choice. I agree that I think you're also going to need to supply ingredients for anything that looks suspicious. I think they are likely to look at your bread a bit carefully after the seed incident.

Does your child eat pasta? If so, pasta with tomato sauce or nut free pesto (you can buy this in the allergy aisle) is a good lunch. If your nursery will microwave a packed lunch (my DD's does), you can send in last night's leftover to be reheated - or use a thermos food flask. Another reliable lunch is some cold meat (I used ham, but if that's too UPF for you, chicken or beef), cheese, oatcakes, veg sticks and fruit.

Also, it's fine to send the same thing/a rotation of 2-3 things every day!

Banning seeds is a new one. Is it all seeds or just sesame and pine nut?

I would go with above. Ask for a meeting with key worker. Explain your home cooking. Send a note in with anything processed to give the ingredients.

Don’t send desserts. Even if they are made sugar free etc, from the nursery’s perspective it is stop teaching children to expect a sweet treat at the end of the meal.

That sounds very restricted and frustrating. I’m the parent of a child with (among other things) a severe, anaphylactic egg allergy and I would never expect this of a school. It’s not sustainable to expect everyone to avoid every allergen of every child at the setting.

Part of learning to deal with allergies is to model and practice good habits like washing hands before eating, to always tell a grown up if feeling ill and to get confident refusing food from other people and only eat your own. When younger if their allergies are severe and they don’t yet understand they need to be eating at their own table and/or under close supervision by an adult. With that this should not be needed.

It will be giving a false sense of reassurance to the parents of any of the allergic kids there. If anything, all that fishing around in lunchboxes for forbidden foods and replacing them is more likely to lead to cross contamination than leaving everyone to eat their own lunch!

I think that list is pretty standard for primary school and there’s loads you can still send.
Favourites with mine over the years have been:
tortilla wraps, bagels or pitta with meat and salad fillings,
pasta salad, homemade pizza, leftover bolognese with garlic bread, couscous with meat and or salad.
In terms of snack I would stick to fruit, yoghurts with no seeded fruit and crackers-cheese type things.
You’ll get used to it soon OP but don’t be that person that risks another child. You have no idea when a child will come with an allergy.

I agree, you should be able to send the items that don’t contain allergens with a note.

Think a lot of pps are missing the point that you are trying to keep low UPF for your child - 'Free from' e.g. egg free type products are usually even worse for UPF than the originals.

I would definitely ask for a chat with the manager, explain your child will always be coming in with home made food not pre packaged, so how can you agree a way forward whereby you assure them you understand the allergy rules, and they trust you.

I think I would stick labels on cling-film/tubs 'Hummus - No tahini' 'Pesto - no pine nuts' personally as well.

It's great they are taking allergies so seriously but this does reduce your sandwich fillings etc options a lot as you won't want to give your DC things like packet ham or chicken.

It would be great if they were also open to listening to your reasons for non UPF, and they might even make some changes to their own food that mean you're happy for your DC to eat that in future.

I taught a boy with a severe egg allergy. Literally touching a shell had him hospitalised for a week so it was no joke.

I don’t think it’s difficult to avoid the things you’ve listed but you may need to be specific on your ingredients with the nursery. How are they to know you’ve homemade them without their standard ingredients?

I genuinely didn’t even think when I was sending DD in with pesto pasta. I knew her preschool was no nuts but my brain hadn’t put it together and I felt awful when it did. Rather than whinge about it, I just stopped sending it.

´No seeds’ is super confusing.
strawberries have seeds on the side? Grains, like, you know, wheat, are actually seeds? Fruit contains seeds? Which seeds actually need avoiding? I’m guessing it’s sesame which is commonly sprinkled on bread but it anything else an issue?

My kids survived 12 years at school eating packed lunch without taking any of these -

egg (incl mayo and as an ingredient) use salad cream, never organised enough to boil eggs in the morning
nuts - a fairly usual request to avoid
seeds -again fairly usual request
fish - in a packed lunch?!? Ewwww
Chocolate - our schools had a healthy eating push - no chocolate or sweets allowed.
sweets

Peas are seeds? Kidney beans are seeds? Baked beans are seeds?

I had one child in my class last year who had life threatening allergies to all but one thing on your list. It was terrifying and we had to be really strict with lunches coming in. So, although it seems like a long list. It could literally be for one pupil.

Veggies and some chicken? DD takes a chicken breast and some, some tomato/cucumber/carrots and sweet potato. She’ll eat that cold, but she’s the opposite of picky. DS would struggle with this list though, he’s very picky.