To move house after my sons finished his GCSE

[CF4]

I’m not sure if I’m posting in the right bit..
we are looking at moving 45 minutes away.

My 16 year old has kicked off and said he would rather live in a tent in the field instead of leaving his friends. My other children 13,12 & 10 are all happy to move.

We currently live in a rural area, which is no good for me and my disability. I need to move back to a town where everywhere is closer than a 20 minute drive. My son is 17 in October and can learn to drive then. Is there anything I can do to make this transition of moving easier. All the children are ASD. So I get change is hard.

I'm happy to pay for the train back for him to see his friends but its out the question I stay in this village. What would you do?

My mother made us move house when I was 17 and in my first year of sixth form. It undoubtedly changed my friendships and meant that I missed out on a lot of things (as she also wouldn’t give me lifts to attend activities with them). It also forced me to learn to drive, and to do so quickly, as I had to drive to keep attending my current sixth form. Whilst of course I’m glad of the skill now, at the time it was stressful and horrible with the level of pressure. I missed my friends at a really important time in my life, and I can honestly say it’s not something I would do to my kids.

As an aside, I moved out completely at 18 and now speak to my mum only sporadically. This was one of the many reasons for this.

I understand your own priorities, and that you aren’t suggesting you’d be as harsh as my circumstances, but I do feel that you should put yourself in his shoes and imagine how you’d feel to be in such a hard part of growing up then being torn away from all you know and your closest friends, it’s very difficult.

What? The OP is talking about moving to the nearest local town. Not to New York…

So the options are stay in the countryside or move to Gotham city?
I live in the countryside but fear mongering about a move to the local town is somewhat extreme.

You do what you have to do for yourself and the family. You seem to have it well.planbned. What about arranging a private driving course during the summer holidays so he is test ready at 17. My niece did this and passed first time just after her 17th.

Only 1 person has said don’t move and 1 has said move when he’s 18, people are telling OP to move!

Daily Mail reader by any chance @SnappyBlueViewer ?

ASD?

Autistic spectrum disorder - Many prefer the term autistic but some do prefer to be referred to as having ASD

I think you need to consider his needs a little more. It's not a small thing to move awar from his friends, his most important support group at a life stage that is typically very difficult for young men. And for those saying he can still see them, not necessarily without a car! Many villages don't have buses or if they do it could make last bus home at 5pm.
16 is old enough for a 50cc motorbike though so he doesn't have to wait for a car. It might be worth considering if someone else in his friends group can host him or house share. 16yr olds can and do move out.
Most important though is talking these things through, make your points, ask for his input.

Maybe she wasn’t disabled when she moved there?

SON'S not SONS