AIBU - Grandparents?

[rockinrobins]

My 5 month old baby has eczema. It's quite mild, we use emollient cream on it and it generally keeps it under control.

The other day my mum was going on about this 'magic' cream she's found on Amazon. She says she uses it and it sorts out her itchy skin and I should try it on him because it's 'all natural'.

I had a look at the product - it's a brand I've never heard of, there's no ingredients list available on Amazon or anywhere else online, it doesn't say anything about using it on babies, and I've told her a few times I don't want to put loads of different products on his sensitive skin.

I said thanks for the recommendation but we don't need it as we have emollient from the GP which we are using and we don't want to introduce loads of different things, even if they're 'natural'.

A few hours later I get a message from my dad saying it's a great cream and he has bought some and sent it for the little one in the post.

Obviously we won't use it but I'm just annoyed as I feel I'm totally ignored and it's this 'we know best' and controlling sort of attitude.

This is one example but similar things have happened since I had my baby - he is also their first grandchild so they're very invested, which is also lovely, it's just a bit much and feels controlling!

AIBU to address this with them head on, or should I just keep smiling politely, thanking for the advice and ignoring?

OP YANBU but just check you don’t have any MI (Methylisothiazolinone) in your clothes washing or bath products. It’s in a lot of stuff and used to play havoc with my eczema. If DC is getting it on the face too I found Zoe Bee (English and organic) products good.

Why not wait until it arrives, check the ingredients and then decide? They are only trying to help, and I think given that your mother uses it herself she isn't overruling your research but more recommending things she's had success with herself. That's okay! You can always just give it back if you don't like the look of the ingredients list.

Your parents will not be perfect, but they seem to be engaged and trying. Nothing underhand, they've been open and upfront. That counts for a lot.

They’re just old, give them a break.
I wouldn’t put it on my child’s skin either but I certainly wouldn’t be upset about it.
A miscommunication might have happened and she told grandma not to buy it and grandpa didn’t know and bought it anyway.
This is a classic case of a good deed never going unpunished!

Just smile and ignore. Both my sons had bad eczema as babies and EVERYONE has a sure fire magic cream that will sort it in seconds. In the end you just smile and nod. Even the eczema nurse gave us a range of creams and said to try them out and it was really a question of trial and error to see what actually works. If what you’re using is helping carry on but if not it is worth trying other stuff. In both cases my boys grew out if it at about 3 years old (which is no help now I know).

GP here, you are right to be careful. Lots of 'natural' creams for eczema turn out when analysed to have strong steroids in them, that's why they work.

They are trying to be helpful.

If you want to ensure they don't use it on her say you patch tested and it came up in a reaction nasty red welt

😅😅😅

Get away.

They are first time GPs who love their child and GC trying to be helpful.

Just smile and ignore. Both my sons had bad eczema as babies and EVERYONE has a sure fire magic cream that will sort it in seconds. In the end you just smile and nod.

Just as this thread proves! Several people have come on here to tell her to use/do something that will return brilliantly!

It's not just eczema. I've been told that turmeric will cure my Type 1 diabetes, among many other miracle cures.

People just want to help and most people are scientifically and medically illiterate. It doesn't make them bad people.

This is spot on and what we used to do.

OP your parents are trying to help. As pp have said, try and just let it wash over you.

“Thank you. We had DC at GP today, he said to keep on with the emollient for the time being as it seems to be working and changing now could cause a flare up. We’ll keep it as an option if the emollient stops working.”

Everyone has a magic cream their second cousin used. You’re right to follow dr’s recommendations, but it’s also correct that emollients can be trial and error. And with three generations of eczema in our family we do find that an emollient that works well for one of us often works well for the others too (and vice versa - one that’s mediocre for one of us probably will be for all of us).

Unless there’s a big back story I don’t think there’s anything to address ‘head on’. It doesn’t sound like they’re putting it on DC themselves.

Say "thanks for the toothpaste. It tasted a bit funny, so I've binned it."
This will confuse them, and they will never send you anything again.

"Thanks for the cream, we'll keep it in reserve and I'll show it to the GP at our next appointment to get their go-ahead to use it."

If you’re breastfeeding take out of your diet things which can cause the eczema - wheat is a major one for example - and if you’re feeding them food start with a food diary and write in every time their eczema flares up too. All the things you change using on your child write in this book and you will work out what is causing it. For my child it was actually milk protein - including human milk - and undiagnosed coeliac disease so the wheat was a major one. Eggs trigger it off in me. I am ok with an occasional very well cooked egg but not a soft one as the food chemicals are different and change with cooking at a high heat. Creams are not the answer it’s working out the cause

Omg don't 🤣🤣🤣 one of my DC has eczema and DH and I shout (or mutter disgruntledly) "bingo!" when we hear people recommend Aveeno, oat baths, non-bio laundry detergent and "have you tried getting rid of anything fragranced?" 🤬