Childminder constantly looking for updates on attendance days

[AvidLemur]

Hi, apologies for long post . My daughter was on wait list for her local childminder 1.5 years before starting there. Out of current group of kids she's there the longest but more have joined since and are there for the long haul so its not a case of constant turnover. My second child was put on the wait list from once I was 5 months pregnant. About 3 months before I was due back to work I was told a new child was starting ( despite me thinking my child was next on list) and she wasn't able to take second in near future. So then we got a dear friend over 20 minutes the wrong direction to mind my second child and I had to reduce my hours to facilitate all of this as there wasnt many days to choose from. Fast forward another year and my second child's start date was pushed out a further few months at which point she took on 2 afterschool kids as she knew parents so I knew I was last pecking order even though I had done the wait time for the place and they factually didnt. Now my second child has finally started and she's a bit miffed I won't be starting the child on more hours for a few months as my hours are set for the foreseeable. Am I the issue here or is she the problem as she pushed me around for so long with my second that it has affected my work hours and job opportunities that I can't just go up extra hours as she needs my childs space to be more viable for her financially. I said nothing when I was pushed out of 2 spaces for sake of the new kids. It's like every 3 months she wants to rattle the peace as if there's a mental health issue or something underlying. I doubt she shows her other service users parents this side as they are her buddies and she wouldn't want them to see this side of her..when I say I have changed my hours every which way for the hours she provides I am not exaggerating. Over the past 3 years I've reduced from 35 hours to 30 hours to 25 to fill the gaps which yes i know is my responsibility as a parent but not when youve done the wait time and others havent. There are no other childcare providers in the area within 10km with spaces. I'm at my wits end with her constant conveyer belt attitude. I'm very fair ,I uphold all ends of contract , pay fully for days she can't do last minute but I feel like im being pushed around here. Kids are happy there so I know she's good at her job and business.

Waiting lists can be much more complicated than being next on the list. If she has space, then she can’t be expected to go without income for several months to accomodate someone further down the list. However, YANBU about your hours unless you were on the list for a certain number of hours and have now reduced them without notice, whilst effectively saying she can’t childmind another child because you want increased hours in a few month’s time.

I don't think she didn't know what a childminder was, but was confused why the equally valid option of a nursery hadn't been considered. I think everyone knows choldminders have specific guidelines to be registered the same as a nursery does. However choldminders tend to work alone or with 1 assistant so each childminder has a significant limit to how many spaces they can offer whole nurseries have the advantage of lots of spaces in 1 place geographically.

As an example though after COVID my eldest was at a nursery I absolutely loved and trusted and wouldn't have loved him from and they couldn't offer me the same days for my youngest deapite me going on waiting list at 3 months pregnant and taking a years mat leave. Childcare has been much harder since COVID in my experience so you're absolutely right same issue can apply with nurseries

I’m glad you understood where I was coming from!
I’ve deduced that some people on this app are just committed to finding offence in everything.

Hi as a childminder I will never hold an empty space which means I don’t really have a waitlist. In order to stay viable I need all spaces filled at all times. So for example if I know I have a space available in September but you don’t need it until November I’d be asking you to start earlier or I’d give the space to the next person who needs it in September. It’s very hard, but means I cannot be loyal to parents of siblings I have previously looked after. I won’t promise them a space. I always offer to keep the space if they want to pay private rates until they start but this is always turned down due to financial reasons. Our borough also makes it quite difficult to start funding mid-term. Sadly these types of decisions where we put finance over loyalty have become more problematic since the new funding system came in as it just really doesn’t work for childminders. I no longer have a waitlist as such as the funding model in my borough stops us from charging proper deposits. When I see a space coming up I see whose requirements are most compatible with the slot I have to fill and offer it to them first. When a child leaves the parents already on my books are asked if they want more days before I fill the space. However they need to take that up as soon as offered. Snooze you lose type of thing. I agree it’s harsh but financially there is little to fall back on in Early Years.

I don't think she has messed you around. When a childminder has a space they will obviously look for someone to fill it most efficiently, so a child of the appropriate age who wants those hours. It's been difficult for you, having to reduce your hours because you didn't have childcare and it makes you a less attractive customer. If you can increase your hours at work, even if your childminder can't immediately accommodate them, could you use your friend to cover any gaps?