DH refuses so follow simple instruction that helps his daughters well being

[ilovemycatmorethanmyhusband]

I tell my DH to not bring my SDs (10) freind to the house. So maybe 2 years ago, my stepdaughter (his daughter) made a freind, everyone was happy because she didn’t really have freinds. But she’s a toxic freind they’re always on and off, one time the freind said that daughter gave the whole school lice. She’s also very ungrateful and picky about her food, wasting it and making DH make her sandwiches. My DD and other stepdaughter both hate the freind because of how toxic she is and they made it clear that they don’t want her to come over.

And?

Sorry what is the question? How old is your SD?

^^ this

Think we're missing a key part. What is the simple instruction?

She is very toxic and not good for my stepdaughter. She also wastes food and is very loud and makes my stepdaughters room a mess

Is your post missing a sentence somewhere? What's the 'simple instruction'?

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What's your DH saying or doing? One of his daughters has a friend that the other two don't like? So what?
And how can the kid 'make SD make her sandwiches'? Do you mean she asks for one because she didn't like your food? That's not the end of the world is it?

What is it you want your DH to do?

The instruction is in the first sentence. OP has told her DH not to let SD's toxic friend come round, because she picks on the SD, leaves her room in a mess and orders her around. The DH continues to invite the toxic friend over. Is OP being unreasonable to expect the DH to stop doing it.

Yes, you’re being U. It’s his child, his call. If you’d rather not deal with the detail you could go out?

Is it up to you to give that instruction though?

Your Sd is 10, her parents cannot control her friendships. If she wants the friend over, and is continuing that friendship then it's really your her (and your Dhs) decision, not yours, no matter how much you and her sisters don't like this girl

It’s friend, not freind.

How is he bringing this girl over? Surely his daughter chooses if she wants to hang out with someone and then parents sort the logistics. You don’t just go collect a kid and bring them to your house to present to your child and force them to play.

Something about the way your DH is ‘refusing to follow a simple instruction’ comes across as quite controlling, OP. He’s not two. Maybe time to have an honest look at how you speak to him and treat him?

How is it up to you who your husband’s daughter is friends with? He might not care that the friend wastes food or is loud.

Your DH sounds like he's being bullied by his wife and a sandwich demanding yet food refusing child. That sounds pretty unreasonable and confusing. Poor chap.